Werewolves on Wheels
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Movie Reviews of Werewolves on Wheels
Movie Review: Mediocre biker/horror film.
Summary: 3 Stars
I rented this film on DVD recently. There's not much to it. It's a biker film from the early 70s, and there's nothing particularly special about it. The bikers here, are all stereotypical Neanderthals. They're shown hassling innocent folks in remote towns, guzzling beer, doing drugs, and indulging in constant sexual escapades.
The werewolf angle, is the only thing that makes this movie different from other biker flicks. When a biker's girlfriend is cursed by monks who turn out to be devil worshipers, the biker gang soon realizes that she starts acting strange. Trouble follows, as the bikers start getting killed one by one, by what they suspect may not be a human enemy.
This film is more silly than scary. The werewolf costumes look tacky, and poorly put together. The special effects are amusingly cheesy, even by B movie standards. You may roll around on the floor laughing at this movie, but it's doubtful that you'd find it the least bit frightening. Another early 70s film called The Deathmaster, was much better at combining the elements of horror, and hippies/bikers. That film is much more worth your while, than Werewolves On Wheels is.
Movie Review: Inside and Out
Summary: 3 Stars
I was an extra in this movie in 1971. I was one of the hooded monks. It was really a lot of fun. Scene I was in was filmed across from Bela legosi's old mansion in Glendale, California. I did some of the fight scenes (inside the mansion/castle) with Barry McQuire. This movie is a B-Movie, a Biker/Horror Movie. I saw it years ago on VHS. I'll buy the DVD version as soon as it's released. Nostalgic stuff of the early 70s and in "LA" too. Thirdeyenine.Movie Review: If You're Hairy And Have Zero Personal Hygiene, You Deserve A Movie Deal.
Summary: 2 Stars
I must admit that I didn't like "Werewolves on Wheels" very much. It's plodding, and tries to bore the audience into submission with countless shots of bikers riding across the desert southwest, lots of closeups of campfires, and a muddled plot that gets totally lost amid the numerous scenes of disjointed pseudo-mayhem. I gave it two stars because I appreciated the truly bizarre concept of inserting a werewolf into a biker movie and expecting it to work. Despite all the sleaziness, terribly choreographed fight scenes, bogus criminal mischief, satanic monks, and surely improvised padding, all hope for a comprehensible and enjoyable film somehow evaporated. I particularly appreciated the scene where the biker runs through a pasture frightening some cattle. Bikers tease cows! Now that's excitement.
The acting is generally terrible, which is explained on the commentary by noting that they had the budget for six actors, and the rest of the bikers were played by actual bikers, while the satanic monks were a commune of hippies who worked for food. The production is quite cheap and the lighting is especially poor. Most annoying is the deceptive title: at no point is there a pack of werewolves on bikes, in fact there's only one in full lycanthropic regalia unless I missed something (which is entirely possible given the mind-numbing level of boredom that had set in by the conclusion of the film when the werewolf finally appeared).
The plot (disjointed as it is) concerns a group of bikers who encounter a group of satanic monks led by "One" (Severn Darden). They are offered bread and wine by the monks, but it's drugged and the monks take biker chick Helen (D. J. Anderson) to use in a ridiculous black cat and snake-intensive ritual that highlights the multiple inappropriate and laughable dance sequences in the film. After the black magic wedding of Satanella, the bikers wake up, decimate the monks (in one of the many horribly choreographed fighting and wrestling scenes in the movie), snatch Helen and get back on the road to ride some more while the soundtrack churns out more terrible omnipresent folk music.
A major plotpoint and time-wasting feature is the recurring gas pumping motif, which teaches us that bikers don't like paying for gas, or like gas station attendants very much either. Since there are no sympathetic characters in the whole lot, I breathed a sigh of relief when the cast members started getting attacked at night by an unknown evildoer which set up a system of dueling evils between the bikers and satanic monks ("We're gonna' kill us some monks, man.") This could have been interesting if it was handled better, but instead the bikers spend most of the last half of the movie getting lost in the mysterious desert, wrestling with each other, and (finally) outing their undercover lycanthrope in full makeup (which is by itself pretty hilarious). The conclusion is abrupt, unsurprising, and ultimately unrewarding, just like the rest of the movie.
While the film started with a few conceptual possibilities, it quickly lost momentum and became much more boring than the title would seem to indicate. It does have a credible audio commentary by writer-director Michael Levesque and writer David M. Kaufman that's more entertaining than the film itself. Other features are a photo gallery, radio spots, and a theatrical trailer for both this film and "The Losers". The actual DVD release is packaged quite nicely, it's just a shame that the movie isn't particularly deserving of such treatment.
Movie Review: Stink-Wolves on Wheels
Summary: 1 Stars
Why isn't there a rating lower than 1, like "never mind", for stinkpots like this flick? To the person above my post. STOP your lying, you weren't no extra in this movie. You probably weren't even a gleam in 2 drunken rednecks eyes when this crapolla was made. "I" was an extra in this movie. I was the Satanic Priest who cursed the two bikers and sent them on their way. NO, I'm only kidding, I wasn't no extra. But neither was this clown above me. I only seen this movie once, and that was enough for me. I love xploitation, road movies, and horrors flicks and all, but this movie didn't do any justice to any of those gens. Buy it if you want, but you'll more than likely regret it later.Movie Review: Werewolves On Wheels
Summary: 1 Stars
An old B Movie brought back to life.A Biker Gang gets involved with the Occult and then well you guess what happens next. A good flick to watch at a party and laugh at.
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