WWE No Mercy 2004
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DVD Cover Information Actor: Dawn Marie, John Bradshaw Layfield, Kurt Angle, Undertaker Brand: Genius DVD: Region Code 1 Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language) Format: Color, DVD, NTSC Picture Format: 1.33:1 Running Time: 180 minutes DVD Release Date: 2004-11-09 Audience Rating: NR (Not Rated) Studio: World Wrestling Product features:
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Movie Reviews of WWE No Mercy 2004
Movie Review: The quintessential awful WWE Pay per view
Summary: 1 Stars
With a generic cover of JBL smiling and the No Mercy sign in a dollar bill, I should have seen disaster coming. But like an idiot, I plunged into it anyway. And I will make up for my regret by telling everyone just how awful it was.
Eddie Guerrero vs Luther Reigns
I swear, the match was secondary to the commentary. The match was as dull as they come, with little more than cheap punches, kicks, and stomps, and the occasional headlock, but all you ever heard was from Michael Cole and Tazz "OMG look at Luther Reigns!" "He used to be a mercenary" "He survived getting his throat cut" "He's a hardass OMG". It was a horrible match, ending with a fake hit with a police baton in memory of Ray Traylor, the Big Boss Man who died recently. (0/10)
Spike Dudley vs Nunzio
Not only are these two cruiserweights, but they're both ECW originals. The bookers in this time must not have known what to do with them, because they were reduced to mere brawlers with a few flying moves. This one was hopelessly boring with a predictable ending. (1/10)
Billy Kidman vs Paul London
Considering that these two are high flyers, I expected a cruiserweight high-flying bout of epic proportions in very un-WWE style. Alas, I've been spoiled by ECW, ROH, even old WWF. What I got instead was two high flyers acting like brawlers. Except for the occasional high impact ATTEMPT and the Shooting Star Press, this was little more than a brawl, more suited for a Hardcore Holly vs John Cena match.
The storyline behind this one was awful as well. After a legitimate botch of the Shooting Star Press, Billy Kidman injures Chavo Guerrero Jr., and what does the WWE do? They turn Kidman into the heel because he's afraid of hurting people with the SSP again. Inexplicably, he turns against Paul London, and is villainized because of his concern for others' well-being. An angle that ranks down there with Katie Vick. (0/10)
WWE Tag Team Championship
Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio vs Kenzi Suzuki and Rene Dupree (C)
With RVD and Rey Mysterio in the match, I'd've thought this would be a good one. Instead, in typical WWE style, their wings were cut, and Kenzo Suzuki showed just how limited his wrestling skills are. Either that, or the WWE decided to bill him as a brawler. The match was a dud when there shouldn't have been one. I'm shocked Smackdown bookers could fumble this one so badly. (3/10)
The Big Show vs Kurt Angle
This match had two parts, before Angle counted himself out and after Theodore Long restarted the match as a result. Before, The Big Show was dominating Angle like Mark Henry dominates John Q. Rassler on an average episode of Smackdown. Afterwards, Angle started fighting back, but why bother? The match was over as soon as Angle was counted out---boring, dull, listless. It's as if the bookers went on coffee break and just told Angle "don't even bother fighting" (0/10)
WWE United States Championship
John Cena vs Booker T (C)
Any match with Cena in it is almost guaranteed for failure. Still, Booker T tried, and for that I give him credit. Cena gave little for Booker to work with. It was as if the bookers told them, "Let Cena win, but make him look like he worked hard for it" and Cena ignored that order. (0/10)
Charlie Haas, Rico, and Miss Jackie vs The Dudley Boys and Dawn Marie
This one was not a wrestling match by any degree. The Dudleys hardly did anything, while most of the match was Bubba freaking out by being kissed by Rico, and D-Von being afraid to headbutt Rico's crotch---with Rico waving him in. Aside from this, Rico is an amazing athlete, with martial arts skills he wields in the ring, and Charlie Haas got to pull off some awesome wrestling moves before the match was pitifully over. (6/10)
WWE Championship
John Bradshaw Layfield (C) vs The Undertaker
JBL is hardly a great wrestler, and The Undertaker looks amazing only when pitted against even semi-decent wrestlers. This match had virtually no actual wrestling moves save for two chokeslams and a Tombstone Piledriver. The rest was punches, kicks, stomps, and a top-rope shoulder block by Bradshaw. This was an overly long, not very exciting match that had the decency to move much of the action out of the ring for our entertainment. Considering that The Undertaker was dominating JBL for 90% of the matchup, it was a lousy main event, with an even lousier ending that just spared JBL from further bouts with the Undertaker, and started a new storyline with The Undertaker and Heidenreich. (2/10)
The perfect example of how pitifully far the WWE has fallen since WCW died, this pay per view had everything the dumb mark (wrestling term) would want---punches, kicks, headlocks, stomps, and shoulderblocks galore!