WWE - December to Dismember
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Big Show, Bobby Lashley, CM Punk, Rob Van DamBrand: WELLSPRING/GENIUS
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language)
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 180 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2006-12-26
Audience Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: World Wrestling
Movie Reviews of WWE - December to Dismember
Movie Review: WWE's ECW abortion, with cheeseball tendencies.
Summary: 1 Stars
Everyone knows just what the McMahons think of ECW, and how they've made the phrase "ECW on Sci-Fi" into more of a joke than the XFL. Ratings plummet, quality deteriorates, and the WWE FORCES Sci-Fi to pick up ECW for 2008.
Anyway, on to WWECW's first PPV! And what better way to start off than to feature a 30 minute match featuring two RAW and two Smackdown competitors?
"One Night Only"
The Hardy Boys vs MNM (not the rapper or candy)
This match went about 10-15 minutes too long in my opinion, and it only really showed in the beginning. The first half of this match was a sluggish, typical WWE brawl consisting of lazy moves, go-nowhere headlocks and submission holds, and lameness galore. By the second half, it escalated to an amazing tag team (including a use of the forbidden standing Shooting Star Press by Nitro) match, which ultimately suffered from having that boring as hell first half. This was great wrestling, but it wasn't ECW. (8/10)
Matt Striker vs Balls Mahoney
This could be a phenomenal match. Not only is Balls Mahoney a great hardcore wrestler from ECW, but he's got a legitimate wrestling background, as does Matt Striker So the WWE decides to give you perhaps the worst 7 minutes of the night, and that's really saying something. Balls gets in maybe 4-5 offensive moves in, while Striker pulls off even less actual moves, and Balls suddenly gets the pin out of nowhere. This match sucked, and the audience knew it. (0/10)
There were very LOUD and NOTICEABLE chants of "TNA!" from the front row, a small select group all throughout the night.
Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay vs F.B.I. w/ Trinity
Great to see the FBI back. And I personally loved Trinity's dress. The match was not that horrible, but it was a bit bland. Terkay surprised me by having some wrestling skill, and Tony Mamaluke and Little Guido worked with perfect cohesion. Still, it was not reciprocated much, and the ending came out weak. (4/10)
Tommy Dreamer vs Daivari
Continuing the McMahon tradition of bombs comes this match, very poorly executed, and heralding chants of "TNA!". It ended horribly, involving Tommy Dreamer chasing Daivari and getting attacked by The Great Khali. The highlight of this match was one guy in the audience, who screamed "THIS ISN'T EXTREME, IT'S ENTERTAINMENT!" (0/10)
Mike Knox and Kelly Squared vs Kevin Thorn and Ariel
Aside from when the women did things the audience was dead, utterly dead. No one really cared about Knox or Thorn, and it showed. "TNA!" chants occurred. I thought Kevin Thorn did quite well against the dud that was Mike Knox, and Ariel did amazing against the even bigger dud that was Kelly Kelly. But nothing could save the match, not even Ariel's thonged rear end poking halfway out her skirt. (0/10)
"Extreme" Elimination Match
Rob Van Dam vs The Big Show (C) vs CM Punk vs Bobby Lashley vs Test vs Sa-... Hardcore Holly?
Yeah, midway through the event, Sabu was taken out of the event, because you don't want to climax an ECW event with an ECW star and innovator in the main event. You want Hardcore Holly! A man whose charisma and skill is as dead as a Best of Al Snow collection. So now we have yet another dud in the "EXTREEEEEEEME" Elimination Chamber match. I thought the first ever Elimination Chamber was overrated, so I'm expecting nothing from this one.
Paul Heyman comes out, and dies inside as he spouts out his McMahon-approved script of essentially turning his back on everything ECW, claiming old ECW sucked the likes Rob Van Dam and Sabu and The Sandman are dead, and the future is in... The Big Show, Test, and Hardcore Holly.
Also, when Heyman declares that Big Show is the future of ECW, some smark in the front row screams "YEAH, UNTIL HE RETIRES NEXT JANUARY!" He must have been a psychic because the Big Show indeed never returned to WWE TV after December.
Match begins and the six competitors come out, starting off with Hardcore Holly and Rob Van Dam, while the other four go into chambers, with such "extreme" weapons as a table, a chair, a fake crowbar, and oh look, a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire! Something actually extreme.
Holly simply sucked. Luckily, Van Dam managed to make him look good, and pulled off some of the same stuff he did in the first one. Then CM Punk came out.
I was expecting nothing, so when CM Punk went and started to rival Rob Van Dam in high flying and great wrestling, I was shocked. Then the two went at it, and I was stunned. They had phenomenal chemistry, and the makings of a great feud. But in typical WWE fashion, they completely fumble that, and put CM Punk against... Mike Knox, The Miz, and other people who suck.
Suddenly the eliminations came... CM Punk was eliminated first, and the audience was livid. People started chanting "BULL****" as he left. Then Test came out, and Hardcore Holly was... pinned? I'm thinking the referee must have been retarded. He didn't count a three, and Holly kicked out at three, yet still he eliminated him. Test then eliminated Van Dam, again to the anger of the crowd.
Bobby Lashley was out next, and Heyman's goonies kept him in the chamber. So the table is now out of the match as he uses it to bust out of the top of the chamber and climb out. Lashley had the makings of a good power wrestler but the booking wasn't right. His spears are weak, and he isn't given enough things to do. Test is eliminated, and we literally get a whole minute of nothing to wait until Big Show comes out.
The last five minutes of the match consist of Lashley dominating the Big Show, then pinning out of nowhere and winning. Total dud. (3/10)
Just like the first ever one, they completely over-sold the Chamber and it's "brutality". Even worse than the first one, as aside from the use of perfectly normal hardcore weapons, this was a normal match that happened to be surrounded by a circular cage. And the commentators make you think they had just been in a flaming Hell in a Cell with barbed wire and broken glass with hypodermic needles full of ebola virus riddling the cage.
Total bomb. And the McMahons dare to lay the blame on Paul Heyman.
Summary of WWE - December to Dismember
Fans of events promoted by World Wrestling Entertainment will enjoy DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER an event first held by Extreme Championship Wrestling. All the fierce physical competition elimination matches and lovable theatrics associated with pro wrestling are taken a step further in ECW. This program which features some of America's fiercest competitors is a must for any fan of the sport.System Requirements:Run Time: 180 minutesFormat: DVD MOVIE Genre:?SPORTS/GAMES Rating:?NR UPC:?651191945733 Manufacturer No:?65119194573Sports DVD Video
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