Tying the Knot
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Movie Reviews of Tying the Knot
Movie Review: A bit jumpy, but full of content
Summary: 4 Stars
There's a lot of things about this documentary that could potentially anger you. Whether it be the hateful comments of the protesters, the coniving actions of one Betty Lou, or the way that the documentary itself, seems to be unfocused from time to time. Perhaps it would have benefitted from a narrator?
The most interesting point was when E.J. Graff (author of "What's Marriage For?") was speaking about the history of marriage and how the institution as we know it today is relativley modern (a result of the industrail revolution) and distinctly radical. Therefore, when the argument is made that gay marriage would fly in the face of established human history, they are beign neglectful that modern marriage does this also.
This film really chronicles the debate over gay marriage in the past ten years. It draws strong comparrisons to interacial marriages and the case of Loving.
This is a great documentary, the only things I didn't like was how it seemed to unorganized; jumping around a lot. Regardless, the content is here, and that's what really matters.
Movie Review: Powerful documentary
Summary: 5 Stars
This wonderful documentary takes us beyond the headlines and rhetoric and into the actual lives of the people who are affected by the debate over gay marriage. Too often people seem to forget that behind any issue are the lives of real human beings, who are no different from you or I. The stories of Mickie and Sam are really shocking--it's hard to believe that in this day and age, in this part of the world, people could be denied such fundamental civil and human rights just because of their sexual orientation. Mickie and her wife of ten years, Lois, were Tampa police officers who were warmly accepted by their colleagues, friends, and relatives, yet after Lois was killed in the line of duty, Mickie was denied Lois's pension because of some greedy relatives, and was then forced to pay for the massive attorney's fees even after losing her appeal. Sam and Earl had been married for over two decades and were raising the three sons from Sam's first marriage together, yet after Earl died, a band of bloodthirsty cousins similarly went after Sam. Earl had left everything to him in his will, yet because of a technical error, they got the courts to overturn Earl's final wishes and put Sam in dire jeopardy of being thrown out of his house. These two men had built their Oklahoma farm up from scratch, and because of these cousins who popped out of the woodwork after Earl's death, Sam was being harassed in so many ways (such as a suspicious fire at a house he rented for extra money and a mysterious woman buying the burial plot next to Earl the very day after his death), and also had to start selling his beloved horses to make ends meet. The cousins meanwhile had said they would sell the farm if they got it. These two stories clearly illustrate just how having their marriages recognised by the state would have helped the surviving spouses immensely. Just having a civil union would not cut it; full marriage would have granted them over a thousand basic rights and privileges that straight couples take for granted.
Throughout the film, we also get the history of marriage and see examples of gay marriage in Canada and Holland. It's shocking how the U.S. lags behind at least 24 other nation-states in regards to such a basic human right as gay marriage. The attitude of not just tolerance but acceptance in Holland and Canada is a far cry from the raging debate in the U.S. People who talk about "the defense of marriage" and the definition of marriage being a man and a woman act as though marriage is some monolithic institution that has been the same for the entirety of recorded history, when in actual fact it's only been in the last 200 years or so (at least in the West) that it's become about love instead of economic or social interests. (Although I do wish there had been some historical discussion about the acceptance of same-sex relationships in past societies, such as Greece and Rome.) Marriage was not even considered a sacrament by the Catholic Church until 1215. And the same rhetoric that opponents apply to gay marriage was once not that long ago used to argue against divorce, interracial marriage, birth control (even for a married couple), and women being equal partners in marriage instead of completely subordinate to a husband. In 1948 90% of the American public thought interracial marriage was wrong too and that it was immoral and would destroy the foundations of society, for example. It's also pointed out that the Constitution has only been amended 17 times since the Bill of Rights was ratified, and that if an amendment to define marriage as only between a man and a woman were to pass, it would be the very first time that an amendment would discriminate against a segment of the population and take away their rights, in lieu of granting more rights to a group of people (such as allowing women and African-Americans the right to vote) or to put more checks and balances on the government (such as changing the procedure to elect the president or directly electing Senators). It also seems baffling how the neo-cons are so against these people who want more than anything to be married, in a culture where divorce rates are higher than ever, the marriage age is rising, and a lot of people are just serially cohabiting instead of making their commitment permanent. For people who throw the phrase "family values" around so frequently, they sure don't practise what they preach about valuing marriage and commited families if those familes happen to not fit into their narrow definition of what a real family is. This film also has some conservative commentators who support gay marriage, such as Andrew Sullivan of the New Republic magazine, and Jeff Cook of the Log Cabin Republicans, showing that, contrary to popular belief, this isn't just something that people on the political left are fighting for.
Extras include outtakes from Boston, a Q&A session with director Jim de S?ve, audio commentary by Mr. de S?ve and Evan Wolfson, a panel discussion, a brief update on Sam and Mickie (and what one can do to help these poor people), a trailer, filmmaker bios, a resource guide, information on the company Docurama, and a catalog of their other documentaries (some with trailers). Overall, it's a great resource for showing people that this is an issue directly affecting the lives of real human beings, not just some political battle where real people are reduced to statistics or soundbytes. Unfortunately, as wonderful, powerful, and well-made as this film is, the people who most need to see it will probably refuse to see it, or won't change their opinion on the issue, although there are always exceptions, such as Rep. Bob Barr (R-Georgia), who actually somewhat softened his former disgust for and opposition to just the idea of gay marriage.
Movie Review: suitable
Summary: 5 Stars
Though I did not personally view the film, I felt comfortable enough with it to allow it to be screened at the Unitarian Universalist church I attend. The UU Church is interested in social justice issues and welcomed the screening of this important documentary on the nature of marriage in the US.Movie Review: An Important Documentary
Summary: 5 Stars
As a gay man living in New York who is out in all aspects of my life, I tend to mistakenly think of myself as having all the rights I really need. For that reason, sometimes I forget (and I admit I haven't thought enough about) the very real reasons why this issue is so important. There are over 1,000 Federal rights and privileges that straight married people have that gay couples are denied because of the legal invisibility of their unions.
This film powerfully and poignantly underscores why gay marriage is such an important issue. The film was entertaining, informative, gripping and enraging all at the same time. Unlike many small independent films, the DVD issue contains many extras that made the whole package even more worthwhile.
I strongly recommend this film.
Movie Review: A great docu and marriage and gay marriage
Summary: 5 Stars
Tying the knot is a great movie that shows the history of marriage and how it's changed, and how that affects the fight for gay marriage. The focus stories are personal and captivating. An excellent docu on a important and contemparary issue.
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