Trog
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Movie Reviews of Trog
Movie Review: Lost Classic!
Summary: 5 Stars
This is a lost classic i have not seen since i was a kid.I first saw it at the Drive-in.Joan Crawford's last film!Movie Review: trog
Summary: 5 Stars
loved it as a kid and still do prehistoric cave man comes to lifeMovie Review: Saint Joan: Patron Saint Of Troglodytes
Summary: 4 Stars
"Trog" was Joan Crawford's ultimate film. I mean ultimate in the sense of "last", not "best," but you knew that already. Truly one of the most unintentionally hilarious monster movies in history, the cast, and especially Crawford, plays their roles in a gravely serious manner. I think it's wonderful that the film is praised as high B-movie art by lovers of camp cinema today, though I'm guessing those involved might not be so thrilled with that dubious honor, given the long line of acting and production pedigrees involved with this atrocity.
"Trog" starts with three spelunkers exploring English caves. The movie starts very slowly, but decelerates all the way to the end. They inadvertently discover Trog, who kills one and injures another of their party when he's frightened. As a conveyance of horror Trog is a mixed bag: the face mask is actually reasonably well done (the lips and teeth are particularly good), but otherwise he looks more like a pakuni in "Land of the Lost" than a million year old pre-human. I would especially like to single three items about the costume out for scorn: first, his shoe-like objects; second, the extremely long fur appliance that covers part of his torso like a stringy hair poncho; and third, the almost complete lack of hair anywhere else on Trog in complete and unbelievable contrast to his hair poncho.
Evacuating the cave the uninjured spelunker, Malcolm Travers (David Griffin, who many know and love from his role as Emmet Hawksworth in the brilliant series "Keeping Up Appearances"), takes his injured colleague to the nearby Brockton Research Centre, where Dr. Brockton (Crawford) rules with an iron stethoscope. Investigating the murder, the police tell Malcolm to remain in the locale, and Brockton gives him a job as an assistant, then convinces him to take her to the cave to find Trog. Despite living undiscovered in a cave for millennia, it takes Brockton and Travers about five minutes to find and photograph Trog.
It doesn't take much to provoke Trog out of his cave, whereupon Crawford shoots him full of tranquilizers ("Hurry! We need a net!") and returns him to her lab. Brockton feeds Trog a bucket of chum consisting of fish and lizards, because he's "not a carnivore" (Maybe he's an omnivore?), and proceed to teach him to play with toys. Joan and Trog bond with the help of a blonde wind-up doll, teach Trog to dance (they know he has good taste because he likes classical music and hates jazz), and teach Trog the colors (he likes blue and hates red). This sounds boring, but you have no idea how mind-numbing seeing Joan Crawford teach a troglodyte the colors can be until you actually see it. She even lets him wear her scarf.
Trog has made powerful enemies, though, chief among them Sam Murdock (Michael Gough) who opposes Trog's very existence with a fury that is wholly inexplicable yet provides the central axis of the plot in this film. Murdock tries everything to have Trog put down, including provoking a jealous underling working at the lab to betray Brockton in a subplot that goes nowhere. To foster good psychological development, Brockton, her daughter, and Trog go out on the lawn and play ball. All is well until a neighbor's German Shepard wants a piece of the action and gets more action than he expected from a jealous Trog. Because of the killing in the cave and killing the dog, a Court of Inquiry is launched, with Brockton on one side and Murdock and company on the other. The judge gives Brockton total responsibility for Trog and community safety, and adjourns the proceedings over Murdock's increasingly annoying outbursts.
Scientists from around the world come to help with the Trog research, and a lot of pseudo-Darwinian mumbo jumbo is bantered about. Finally they perform two surgeries on Trog, one of which will allow him to speak. He is an extremely cooperative post-op patient, especially considering the band on his head which makes him have extremely long red and blue-tinted flashbacks of dinosaurs he used to know. While I made reference to "Land of the Lost" earlier, these stop-motion dinosaurs are not nearly as realistic as that series.
Eventually because he can't get satisfaction via the courts, Murdock takes matters into his own hands one night by knocking the night watchman unconscious, taking his keys, ransacking the lab, and unlocking Trog's cage, in an effort to frame Trog. (How was this supposed to work exactly? Murdock threw the padlock away, and Trog would have had no way to get the keys to let himself out as the guard's station is outside the building.) Murdock is feeling pretty smug about his handiwork, so he is completely surprised to find Trog waiting for him at his car. Trog kills Murdock, and everyone is relieved because they were tired of his prattling on about putting Trog down. Despite the extremely exciting events of the evening, Trog takes about ten steps into the forest and goes to sleep. Sometimes life parallels art, because I was almost asleep too.
The police get involved in a massive manhunt (Troghunt?) the next morning. While they are mucking about in the woods, Trog heads straight for the village, where he wanders the peaceful streets without opposition. He fancies a fruit stand, and when challenged as a shoplifter, kills the grocer. The butcher in the next store attacks Trog with a cleaver, and in turn winds up on a meat hook. The next step will be obvious to fans of B-movies: Trog heads for the children's playground. He promptly intercepts a blonde girl on the slide, who reminds him of the wind-up doll. She passes out from fright, and I wish Brockton would come along and put a tranquilizer dart in the hysterically overacting mother as well. Trog wanders around carrying her through woods and caves, while police intentionally bring the hysterical mother to the cave stakeout just so they can restrain her and take her away again. (I don't get it either.)
Brockton goes into Trog's cave over protests from the Army and reasons with Trog to give her the girl. Trog is a quick learner as he has no problem understanding English perfectly, and hands the child to Brockton. If I were the child I would have been less scared of Trog, especially after seeing Brockton yell. Brockton returns the child from the cave, and the Army invades Trog's hideout. They pump hundreds of rounds into him, but that doesn't kill him. He dies only after falling and impaling himself on a stalagmite.
"Trog" is a hilariously inept movie, and was a sad end to Crawford's career. Ridiculed by critics and the public alike, it sealed her fate as an actress, serving as a campy capstone to her career. For fans of bad movies, though, "Trog" is a film of sheer wonderment: hilarious, pretentious, and completely implausible: in other words perfect to laugh at. I recommend it highly to those who are so inclined.
Movie Review: Joan's swan swong
Summary: 4 Stars
It was a rather low-budget movie, made overseas. But, Miss Crawford being the consummate professional that she (always) was took this movie very seriously. To Joan, "Trog" was still a Hollywood masterpiece; and she gave just as much effort in "Trog" as she did in her Academy-Award winning defining film, "Mildred Pierce."
Joan plays Dr. Brockton, an anthropologist who is studying "Trog," the "missing link." As you already know, this is Joan's last picture. She is still stunning, looking and sounding amazing. The first time I watched this picture I was expecting it to be very poor (because of what I heard about it) but I was very surprised that it was not what I expected. The story is actually very decent and I really enjoyed Joan's character because Dr. Brockton was different from many of the other roles Joan played over the years.
My favorite part of the movie is when Joan dramatically screams "TROG!!!" It's such an over-the-top moment and so theatrical.
Although this is Joan's final "movie" she worked well into the '70s, her last major theatrical performance was on the anthology series "The Sixth Sense."
No, Joan wasn't proud of "Trog" (or of any of the movies she made during the last 10 years of her career). We have to remember that the girl still needed to work and we also have to remember that her cumulative contribution as a whole is not based on this movie. Do not judge Joan based on a b-picture that she made 40+++ years into her career because she took these roles to survive, thinking the storylines and scripts were unusual and unique.
Upon a reflective moment, once commenting on this movie specifically, Joan said that if she wasn't a devout Christian she would have "contemplated suicide" had she seen her name up on the "Trog" marquee. She knew exactly what "Trog" was but she gave it her best shot. Instead of tearing this movie apart and degrading Joan's name, let's celebrate all of the good that she did throughout her career. Joan was always a beautiful star (who was just as beautiful on the inside) and should not be looked down on now simply because she made a few b-pictures.
Movie Review: 'Joan's Worst Film"
Summary: 4 Stars
For ardent Joan Crawford fans it was distressing when it was announced that Warner Brothers would be releasing "Trog" on DVD because at the time of the DVD release there were many better Crawford films that had yet to be released in this manner. Buy this film only if you are a true Crawford fan, not because the movie is good or a classic. Even Joan Crawford hated the film once saying after its release, "if I had seen Trog advertised on a marquee and if I wasn't a Christian Scientist I would have contemplated suicide". Joan did the film because at this time in her life Hollywood had turned its back on her. The film was shot in England during the summer of 1969 and it was the second film she did for Herman Cohen (the first being "Berserk!"). Crawford even supplied her own wardrobe often getting ready for scenes in the back seat of her car. Like Joan stated "any films that I did after "Baby Jane" were terrible. I did them for the money or because I was bored or broke or both. I hope they have all been withdrawn and are never heard from again". Joan played a scientist who befriends an ape-like man who goes on a killing rampage. Even at 65, though, Crawford looked impeccable and she acted as though she were filming "Grand Hotel". She gave this film her all although she probably knew it was the end of her acting career. The saddest part about this movie is not just the fact that it was Crawford's last film performance but the fact that Crawford's role as a wonderful Hollywood actress had come to an end because she was older. It saddens me to think how an industry that made millions off Crawford had turned its back on her. Joan would continue to have a few roles in TV shows up until 1972 then she fully retired becoming a recluse. "Trog" does contain the trailer that accompanied the film's release but there are no bonus features. God Bless you Joan.