The Wild Blue Yonder
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Movie Reviews of The Wild Blue Yonder
Movie Review: What?!
Summary: 1 Stars
Are you kidding?! This is not even a movie, let alone a scifi-fantasy movie. To let you know, I am (was) a fan of Herzog: I think "Aguirre: Zorn Gottes" is very good and "Fitzcarraldo" ranks as a masterpiece of cinema. But the wild blue yonder is mind-numbingly dull. Oh, I get what he is trying to do: tell a story pasting together "real" video segments from NASA and some (ant)artic dives. While painting in bold, broad strokes worked for impressionist painting, and improvising on a theme sometimes works in Jazz, it most definitely does NOT work in telling a cinematic story.
It takes Herzog 81 agonizing minutes of NASA outtakes, dive scenes, and interviews with astrophysicists (the only interesting bit of the movie) to tell the following story: [SPOILER :P] Aliens landed on earth a long time ago from aplace really far away with the intent of colonozing, but they failed because the trip took so long they forgot their advanced technology. We see one alien; he looks human. The government dug up the Roswell alien ship and feared they had loosed a dangerous microbe on earth, but they hadn't (YAWN). So the government sends a spaceship to explore the universe for an inhabitable planet. Nothing interesting happens. Some scientist figures out a way to travel great distances easily. They find the alien's home planet and explore it (dive scenes, with no dialogue). The "aliens" they encounter are sea cucumbers and the like. Nothing interesting happens. Then the movie ends. All the while, some really annoying super-Saharan (I think) nomad sings and screechingly plays an instrument. It is very authentic folk music. wtf!
Movie Review: Wretched waste of 90 minutes
Summary: 1 Stars
I tried to rent this DVD but couldn't find it at Blockbuster (they must have previewed it) so I took the plunge at Best Buy for 16 bucks, I can't resist anything sci-fi. Now I've seen some bad flicks, some that are so bad that you at least get a couple of laughs to make it worth watching but I have never in my 51 years on earth sat through ANYTHING more irritating than this pile of drivel. Stock footage of past space missions, a totally unbelievable character in Brad Dourif (who I otherwise like) and a storyline which not only makes NO SENSE but scientifically is incorrect and a musical score that was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. I guess the best way to put this is as much as I'm bummed about wasting 16 bucks I'm more pissed about the 90 odd minutes of my life I'll never have back.Movie Review: absolutley unwatchable
Summary: 1 Stars
The music is irritating and very annoying. Brad doriff's acting is horrible and not belivable. the story is just boring footage of real astrounats and underwater footage that will put you to sleep instantly. The story of a potential microb let loose on earth, so nasa sends space men to find a new place to colinize before the microbs kill us. Well the place we do find is the same one where the microbs are from in the first place. Oh yeah, it's all real underwater footage. Did werner make this disaster for free by using all real footage and throwing in brad doriff's horrible acting. Brad is a very long way from his oscer for cuckoos nest. Nothing happens and I can't mention enough how bad the music is. Herzog is a genious, He should be ashamed to have his name on this piece of trash!!!Movie Review: The worst movie in the history of time
Summary: 1 Stars
I'm not even going to waste time explaining in detail why the movie is bad because the others who gave it one star have said it already. I will just say that it might be more enjoyable having my eyes pecked out by crows.