The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children
by Ronald V?ctor Garc?a, Stanley H. Brassloff
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Ann Myers, Debbie Osborne, Neal Bishop, Sean Kenney, T.E. BrownDirector: Ronald V?ctor Garc?a, Stanley H. Brassloff
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono
Format: Color, DVD-Video, Full Screen, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.85:1
Running Time: 175 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2003-01-14
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Studio: Image Entertainment
Movie Reviews of The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children
Movie Review: My heart belongs to daddy...
Summary: 5 Stars
Toys are not for Children is an interesting and original movie that charts unchartered territory that is probably better off unchartered. I started off liking this movie a lot, but after repeated viewings the numerous fault of this film become so apparent that it makes any attempt to take it seriously difficult.
The formula for this sexploitation flick is simple: take a taboo s e x subject and milk it for all its worth. These movies usually are just an excuse to make soft core pxxrn. TanfC doesn't need a lot of nudity to keep its viewers attention as it is quite controversial on its own.
You see, Jamie Gedard, our hero-ine has a certain fixation on daddy-dearest and has a nasty habit of taking the toys he gives her "to bed with her." Yes, at first this is a very original idea, but when the initial reaction wears off its just plain silly. The movie opens with her laying in bed nude with a toy soldier moaning "daddy, daddy." After this we have the titles that are shown over footage of various toys along with the catchy theme song, "Lonely am I."
Now Jamie's getting married to this boy she works with. This movie jumps around through time a lot. I have to give the movie credit for this non-chronological scene sequence it develops long before Pulp Fiction made it chic to do so. Anywho, now on their honeymoon, they give us the pleasure of watching her husband, Charlie, undress while Jamie undresses in the bathroom. Thanks a lot movie, way to service your audience. We also have to sit through some painful early synth music.
The good news for Charlie is that his new wife is incredibly hot, the bad news is she is bat-shxxt crazy and frigid and would rather sleep with her toy soldier than him. In the city she befriends a vvhore named Pearl. Meanwhile back at the toy shop, Charlie's friend appears which is hilarious. He either just smoked up a bit before walking on the set, or he's a scientologist because he just stares at Charlie with this strange grin on his face.
The acting is actually pretty good for a low budget grindhouse film, of course it has it moments when it is so forced that you grind your teeth, as is apparent in this next scene where Charlie and Jamie get in a fight. Unfortunately for Charlie, Jamie learned a lot from her mother's downright bxxchitude.
Long story short, Jamie spends her time playing with toys while Charlie runs around town in sexual frustration. Since Jamie can't make love to her husband since she only has feelings for daddy she does what any girl in her situation would do, she becomes a vvhore! On her journey of sexual discovery she can only hope that one of her johns turns out to be daddy. The blurb for this movie actually spoils the ending for us, but I'll be nice and won't repeat it.
Has some genuinely original ideas that make it worth at least watching once, even if its absurd premise and poor production value hinders any repeated viewing attempts.
Like most Something weird videos, this DVD is a double feature. The other films, The Toy Box, has little to do with TanfC, except for the fact that they both have toy in the title. Toy Box is your average soft core sexploitation Harry Novak Production. Well, maybe not so average as it takes place in this haunted house. Not bad if you skip to the good parts. It also features Martha Jordan, who is looking younger and hotter than usual, albeit much too briefly. So keep that in mind if you're a Martha Jordan fan.
Summary of The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children
The Toy Box (1971, 89 min.) - Explore a kinky pleasure chest when swingers Donna and Ralph are invited to a midnight party at the castle of "Uncle," an overweight pervert. However, it appears that Uncle has died, which doesn't stop the guests from turning his wake into a non-stop orgy. Reality and illusion blur as various partygoers may or may not be gruesomely murdered; worse, a giant nude woman informs our guests that Uncle is actually an alien who's collecting specimens for an extraterrestrial toy store specializing in the brains of "depraved" humans! One of the most bizarre mixes of surreal sex and horror to ever assault audiences, "The Toy Box" features direction by the cinematographer of "Twin Peaks" and a cast of sex-film starlets including the incredible Uschi Digart, who gets fondled by an amorous bed! "Toys Are Not for Children" (1973, 84 min.) - Miserable with her marriage to a toy-store clerk and obsessed with memories of her long-absent father, child-like Jamie learns that toys are not for children when she turns her life around--by becoming a hooker! Playing "daddy's little girl" with dirty old men, she finds true happiness until a friend arranges a special "date" between Jamie and her whore-hungry dad that, to put it mildly, does not go well. Two toy-friendly sickies definitely not for the kiddies!Action & Adventure DVD Video
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