The Million Dollar Hotel
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Movie Reviews of The Million Dollar Hotel
Movie Review: Muddy Waters
Summary: 2 Stars
Appearently, the classic observation that German poets muddy the waters to make them appear deep applies to film directors as well. Basicly a silly movie for those who fancy themselves sophisticated intellectuals in need of their periodic euro-film-fix. It wasn't even all that good as such -- If Wenders had set it in Friedrichshain and in German rather than English it might have worked.
Wenders, Gibson and the others involved have done better work in the past and hopefully will again.
Movie Review: Please do not watch this film
Summary: 1 Stars
Whilst flicking through the new releases listings I noticed that this film had received cracking reviews and ratings from other Amazon shoppers, this alarmed me so much that I felt my opinion should be heard (something I don't usually do).I believe that everybody has their "Do not, no matter what, go and see this film" story, which you will tell your friends and colleagues and even have a bit of a chuckle about it. I went to see Million Dollar Hotel during its theatrical release here in the UK.
A film requires characters that are slightly likeable... This film sadly has none. I also believe that a film requires a screenplay that has some substance to it, hell it might even overpower the terrible characters, but again this film is incredibly lacking in this facet.
So a film which has characters and a story that are both neither interesting nor attractive, I then continue to tell you why you should not see this film. I believe that a film can be very stylised and very cool, I love the Coen Bros., Gilliam and Kubrick, all who perform their stylising very well, sadly I felt that this film tried too hard and it looked poo, the dirtiness annoyed me, Jovovich's character was sooo flaky it was untrue, the lead character Tom-Tom (Jeremy Davies) was intensely irritating, believe it or not Gibson was the only actor that provided some clean relief and I hope that this is a film that Roth will never admit that he was ever involved in.
A film of such poor substance is generally forgivable if it has loads of explosions, special effects, fighting etc. but, you guessed it, it doesn't, just a crappy film that will please such a small minority of Wim Wenders fans it really shouldn't have been made.
Other than all of the above shortcomings it has more, YES MORE, reasons why you shouldn't see this movie, from the opening credits it was obvious that Bono had been significantly involved in this movies production, from score to cameo's, all of this gave the film a feel of a Bono music video, a crap music video, with a poor story behind it. 15 minutes into themovie and any intelligent person will be able to tell that this film is not going to get any better.
Please, for your own sake do not watch this film, to quote Delroy Lindo in get shorty "I have seen better film on teeth."
Please do not watch it to see how bad it is, it really, really sucks! then again you will always need something bad to compare the good to I suppose.
Movie Review: Absolut Worst Movie Ever
Summary: 1 Stars
I have seen about 3,000 movies in my lifetime, but this is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen (I really am not exaggerating) . I had actually seen this movie and knew how bad it was BEFORE I bought this DVD. I honestly bought this DVD to show my friends how bad the movie was because they couldn't believe my description of it. I feel sorry for Mel Gibson. I bet he wishes this movie never existed. His role in the movie was bad at best, and was still the best actor in the movie - by far. The movie is depressing, but not Schindler's List depressing - this is absolutely uninteresting. There is no excitement, sadness, happiness, intelligence, etc. This movie is absolutely devoid of any emotions at all. It is a story of a bunch of strange, mentally ill people who live in a depressingly old hotel. One guy jumps off of the roof and Mel Gibson tries to figure out why. If you think you will get to enjoy a good murder mystery movie - forget it, this is no intellectual who-dunnit. The only 10 seconds that even made me crack a half of a smile is the mentally ill guy who thinks he is John Lennon. I finally figured out why the guy jumped off of the roof - it was because he had to watch this movie! If you don't mind spending the money on this movie, you should buy it, just to say that you own a copy of the worst movie ever produced (I did). After talking with several people the only other contender to this is a 12 hour long sci-fi movie with a cheesy title like "my alien mother ate your head" or something. I have never seen the sci-fi movie and don't know the exact title, but I imagine it might be in the running as well as this one. I feel like I need a Thorazine just to get through this movie without ripping my eyes out and stabbing my brain with the remote control. You can forget a deprivation chamber or water-boarding, Guantanamo should use this movie to get some real answers.Movie Review: Sorry, it's junk, and almost unwatchable.
Summary: 1 Stars
This is one of those movies you pick up in the video store because it has Mel Gibson on the cover and Tim Roth in the back. Surprise, Roth is in this flick for about two seconds, and Gibson is stuck in a toned down reprise of his "Payback" role. Which means gravelly voice and none of the charm that is his speciality. The plot is fragmented, the stories are crudely stuck together and the acting is sub-par. Milla Jovovich is fun to look at, like always, but apart from her startlingly sharp cheekbones and piercing eyes, she is pretty well glamoured down. You should be able to figure out the situation behind this movie without even watching it. It is a 2001 release that most people have never heard of. A film released straight to video with Mel Gibson? How could a studio do that to a film with such a marketable star? Remember movie executives are there to make money, if they thought there was anything even remotely worthwhile in this film then it must have been horrible. It is.
The movie drags along under the narration of Jeremy Davies' character, Tom-Tom. The lines don't explain anything, are often repetitive, and are often whispered for the sake of generating some atmosphere. The only thing they suceed in generating is annoyance.
I could go on, but what's the point? Don't watch this movie, don't rent it, and certainly don't buy it. It isn't good. Plain and simple. Save your money and, instead, go and rent any of the actually good films that any one of these actors has had a part in.
Movie Review: cliché captured on celluloid
Summary: 1 Stars
I'm sure the intent was to blow minds with indescribable brilliance, but sadly the outcome only raised the bar on cheez-ball arty pretension to new heights. MDH is one of the most contrived films ever.Let me give you an example. One of the loonies who inhabit the so-called Million Dollar Hotel is a "wounded soul" called Eloise. She also happens to be the resident prostitute and muse(i guess). At one point she says, "I'm not real, i'm fictional." At this point, I want to kick Eloise in the head. Oh....uh, the gushing blood and that throbbing pain in your head aren't real.....they're fictional. It'll be o.k.....just click your ruby red shoes together 3 times.
In all seriousness, this movie is about as deep as the Taco bell dog's pee puddle. It is a by-product of heroin chic silliness. It is oddball for the sake of being
oddball. It is a little too clever for it's own good(not that clever is bad, but I believe there is a point when it can come across as being forced, not to mention annoying). It is a big fat goose egg.
Basically, this film just tried too hard to be profound, and it just wasn't [period] It has the poetic stylings of some pasty-faced Goth kid living in a suburb filled with palm-trees, golf courses, and subscriptions to Vogue. word up.