The Machine Girl
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Movie Reviews of The Machine Girl
Movie Review: This movie doesn't take it's self seriously and neither should you.
Summary: 4 Stars
Blood, cheesy special effects, ninjas, chainsaws, machine guns, what's not to love? My roommate and I were laughing our way through this movie. We love cheesy action movies and this was worth the $5 we spent on-demand to watch it. Very gory thought, be warned.Movie Review: Extremely gory, silly, unrealistic, funny as heck
Summary: 4 Stars
Extreme and unrealistic blood and gore, unrealistic digital edits, and a predictable story.
So why 4 stars? It's because the movie is funny and very enjoyable, *if* you're not turned off by the above. Just know what you're getting into.
Movie Review: mmm, tempura
Summary: 3 Stars
Although she is quite tough and excels in sports such as basketball, Hyuga Ami is a normal high school girl. However, there is one aspect to her that is a bit different than other girls, her parents committed suicide after being accused of murder. With this dark cloud hanging over her head, Ami fights to get by each day with the support of her younger brother Yu. Yet, there is a major problem. Yu, along with his chunky, bespectacled friend Takeshi, are the targets of a vicious gang of school bullies led by Kimura Sho, the son of a powerful yakuza and scion of the Hattori Hanzo clan, the name of a historical samurai and a name that should be familiar to all fans of Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill films. Going beyond the normal bullying and extortion, Kimura and his gang kill Yu and Takeshi. Ami, unable to gain sympathy from anyone, goes on a killing spree herself when she finds her brother's diary which contains a list of the people he would like to kill. After arriving at the home of her first victim, the insanity truly begins.
After Kimura's underling heads off to school, Ami is attacked by the underling's parents, the father attacking her with a double golf club attack and the mother deep frying the poor girl's left arm like it was a big hunk of meat in tempura batter. Ami, however, is able to escape when she throws some boiling water on the dad. That night, Ami returns to the home and kills the mother and Kimura's underling. She then declares that she is a demon bent on Kimura's destruction, however, unfortunately for her, she is caught by Kimura's dad and has her fingers and arm cut off. After managing to escape, she makes her way to the home of Takeshi's parents, two mechanics, who aid her and build her a Gatling gun that attaches to the stump of her left arm. Now, the true action begins.
The Machine Girl is obviously a film that had a limited budget which it tries to make up for by adding enough blood and gore to make fans of 1970s and 1980s splattercore proud, and by adding enough eye candy, the bikini model Yashiro Minase as Ami, the former adult video star Asami as Miki, Takeshi's mom, and nude model Honoka as Kimura Sho's mother, for those who like cheesecake to go with their gore. Although incredibly bloody and gory, The Machine Girl is so over-the-top that the buckets of blood and guts produce laughs instead of cringes. Campy, poorly acted, and bizarre, The Machine Girl makes for a bit of mindless fun on a boring day.
Movie Review: The Machine Girl
Summary: 3 Stars
Machine Girl is a film that seeks to be every type of cult japanese film that it can be in its short running time all wrapped up in a big bow of exploitation. Theres the revenge quotient, some chanbara action with yakuza and wrapped up with a bunch of other stuff I'm too meak to categorize. Its main distributor Nikkatsu is known for producing mainly exploitation films and really the film isn't very serious and silly at the most. But what more can you think when a movies villains aren't only Yakuza but descendants of the Ninja Hattori Hanzo. Despite the glowing sense of stupidity that permeates the whole thing I was wearing a big stupid grin on my face through the whole mess of a film.
Ami is a likeable college student good at basketball who takes care of her younger brother Yu. Of course in the opening minutes we learn that Yu is being bullied and unfortunately tries to fight back. This unfortunately leads to him a friend being thrown to their deaths. Ami trying hard to do the right thing finds herself assaulted by the family she confronts (having her hand fried as tempura but thats not what necesitates the machine gun arm). She then goes into revenge mode and everything goes further into crazy territory as Ami looses her arm and after teaming up with the parents of the Yu's murdered friend gains a gatling gun for an arm. But that doesn't even begin to describe things like a drill bra, a high school ninja assassin team and some reaonably well done gore.
I find it hard to really defend or critique a film this ridiculous. The acting is bland and straight out of the b-movie quality it should be. The gore is too obvious and over the top but once they showed a screaming head with its face torn off any idea that they might have been aiming for realism vanished (and was never there to begin with). And the villains were so overdone but funny in their own little way (not including a crooked police man and his laughing wife, the main villains feed someone his fingers as his sushi and induce their bodygaurds to necrophilia with odd reasoning). This isn't a serious film and its not meant to be. It doesn't reach the heights of some more the insane classics from Japan but with a cheap price tag its at least worth checking out for those interested.
Movie Review: Over the Top...In Every Way Possible
Summary: 3 Stars
This is the story of Ami Hyuga, the older sister of Yu Hyuga. They're all each other has as their parents committed suicide after being suspected of committing murder. When Yu starts being bullied by Sho, whose father is part of the yakuza, and his gang...things start to get ugly. Yu is told to bring Sho insane amounts of money or else Sho will go after Ami to put her in his father's whorehouse. Takeshi, a friend of Yu's, is on the same boat and when they don't pay the gang one day...they pay the consequences. Now, with Yu gone, Ami swears revenge. She winds up at Sho's house and tries to avenge her brother's death, but winds up getting captured...and loses an arm in the process. After she escapes, she manages to make it back to Takeshi's house. His parents wind up helping her and Takeshi's father makes it his responsibility to make her a machine gun for an arm. Thus Machine Girl is born.
I went into this with not necessarily high expectations, but I had been looking forward to it since I'd been keeping up with trailers and clips when they were released. It looked ridiculous and like it was going to be a lot of fun. The problem though was that I feel like I wound up biting off more than I could chew. The film was ridiculous, but way more than I was expecting. This movie is over the top in every sense of the phrase. The gore is outlandish, the acting is overdone, and the storyline is completely ridiculous. I went in wanting this to be a fun gore fest and walked out with an unexpected helping or two of cheese.
Machine Girl isn't completely horrible. It's still pretty entertaining. While the acting is overdone, it's pretty humorous at times. The fact that blood sprays in every direction for several minutes in just about every other scene in the film is entertaining in itself. There are several scenes in the film that are so over the top and so ludicrous that you can't help but laugh.
If you don't take this film too seriously, you may have some fun with it. It's like they knew ahead of time that this film couldn't be serious and took full advantage of it while they were making it. The movie is worth watching for some of the fight scenes alone as they're some of the bloodiest I've ever seen.