The Machine Girl
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Movie Reviews of The Machine Girl
Movie Review: Drill Bra!!
Summary: 5 Stars
Those two words are all you need to know. This movie is long on action, and short on plot. That's not to say there isn't a plot, but it's very predictable, and just barely cohesive enough to hold together the almost random scenes of gratuitous violence (Actually, violence isn't a good enough word. It's more like extreme slapstick) together.
However, there is a method to the madness. This is FAR more than a bunch of swordfights with arterial spray thrown in. The methods of death-dealing are what makes this movie an unexpected gem. Anyone can cut off a sushi chef's fingers, but what movie has the testicular fortitude to make him eat them afterwards?
If that's what you're into, then this movie won't sit on your shelf much. Every one of your equally sick friends will be wanting to borrow it, and that's a fact!
Movie Review: Forget Your Stupid Superheros, THIS Movie Should Be Playing On 3000 Screens!
Summary: 4 Stars
After her brother is murdered by a ninja-yakuza clan, a teenage girl seeks vengeance with her gatling gun. First and foremost, this movie has enough blood spray to fill Lake Erie. The death scenes are numerous, highly inventive, and extremely entertaining. The pacing is just about perfect, with the action scenes positioned within the running time in such a way that avoids any dullness. One surprising positive is the camera-work, which shows blood sprays for incredibly long periods of time. This is definitely a movie that soaks itself in excess. The story itself plays out rather seriously, but the black humor is laid on thick during the fights, so some laugh-out-loud moments are almost guaranteed along the way. This is a very satisfying action gore-fest because of its impressively long finale.
I've already heard some artsy snobs complaining about this movie in terms of character development. I'm just wondering why these tards even decided to watch this movie to begin with. They should have known exactly what they were going to get. You don't see the name Tsai Ming-liang on the DVD case, do you?
This really was my summer blockbuster popcorn flick of 2008. Everyone else can have their little CGI prairie dogs, animated monkeys, and space aliens. You can have your superheros, sequels, and remakes (can Hollywood think of anything new?). The fact remains that THIS movie should be playing on 3,000 screens! That will never happen in the USA though with it's dumb-as-dirt moviegoers who flock like sheep to see the most derivative tripe dished out by those Californian bloodsuckers. Do you people have ANY standards whatsoever?
On a positive note, that's 2-for-2 this year in terms of my most highly anticipated films. "Chocolate" (a Thai action flick) and "The Machine Girl" were both insanely entertaining. I have full confidence that "Tokyo Gore Police" will be something really, really special. And maybe "High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter", "Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge", and "Onechanbara" can round out a great 2008 for Japanese Horror.
You don't get great stuff like this out of the States. Man, is there any reason to watch American movies anymore?
Movie Review: Over the Top...In Every Way Possible
Summary: 3 Stars
This is the story of Ami Hyuga, the older sister of Yu Hyuga. They're all each other has as their parents committed suicide after being suspected of committing murder. When Yu starts being bullied by Sho, whose father is part of the yakuza, and his gang...things start to get ugly. Yu is told to bring Sho insane amounts of money or else Sho will go after Ami to put her in his father's whorehouse. Takeshi, a friend of Yu's, is on the same boat and when they don't pay the gang one day...they pay the consequences. Now, with Yu gone, Ami swears revenge. She winds up at Sho's house and tries to avenge her brother's death, but winds up getting captured...and loses an arm in the process. After she escapes, she manages to make it back to Takeshi's house. His parents wind up helping her and Takeshi's father makes it his responsibility to make her a machine gun for an arm. Thus Machine Girl is born.
I went into this with not necessarily high expectations, but I had been looking forward to it since I'd been keeping up with trailers and clips when they were released. It looked ridiculous and like it was going to be a lot of fun. The problem though was that I feel like I wound up biting off more than I could chew. The film was ridiculous, but way more than I was expecting. This movie is over the top in every sense of the phrase. The gore is outlandish, the acting is overdone, and the storyline is completely ridiculous. I went in wanting this to be a fun gorefest and walked out with an unexpected helping or two of cheese.
Machine Girl isn't completely horrible. It's still pretty entertaining. While the acting is overdone, it's pretty humorous at times. The fact that blood sprays in every direction for several minutes in just about every other scene in the film is entertaining in itself. There are several scenes in the film that are so over the top and so ludicrous that you can't help but laugh.
If you don't take this film too seriously, you may have some fun with it. It's like they knew ahead of time that this film couldn't be serious and took full advantage of it while they were making it. The movie is worth watching for some of the fight scenes alone as they're some of the bloodiest I've ever seen. If you liked Zombie Strippers or The Day of the Dead remake, then this is definitely a film for you.
Rating: 5/10
Movie Review: Most ridiculous, violent and bloody movie... but that's why you're here.
Summary: 4 Stars
So anybody viewing this product already knows what they should expect. I mean, look at the DVD art... you're not going to get oscar-winning cinema here, but what you will get is some of the more violent, gory, gruesome and action-filled movies i have ever seen. We all know about Ichi the Killer (Unrated Edition) and Riki-Oh - The Story of Ricky and i think this could be lumped into the same category. Totally over the top action and violence to see how far the creators can go. So down to MACHINE GIRL specifically. Acting and overall plot were pretty good considering... A young girl's brother and his friend are killed by a gang of high-school aged yakuza and she seeks revenge, only to get her arm chopped off in the process. She finds herself at the parent's house of the other kid who was killed and they nurse her back to health. They also make her a gigantic machine gun arm just in time to have ninjas show up to make use of it. The father is killed and "Machine Girl" and the mother of the other dead boy basically go out to seek revenge on the rest of the family. EXTREME violence ensues throughout - holes blown in people's head, chests; decapitations; drill-bras; limbs chopped off; bodies cut into pieces, Kill Bill, Volume 1 style blood-sprays - the works. I was surprised to see that the special effects were for the most part top notch in the old-school manner. Most were all practical effects and all worked - even if they were a lil cheesy, i think it worked for the movie considering it was all that way. This will be a great movie to add to a gore-hound's collection, or those who are fond of grindhouse-revival cinema. I'm proud to add it to my collection (of over 850 titles) and can't wait to show it off to my friends who could stomach it... lol