The Fearless Vampire Killers, or Pardon Me but Your Teeth Are in My Neck
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Movie Reviews of The Fearless Vampire Killers, or Pardon Me but Your Teeth Are in My Neck
Movie Review: Stunning . . .
Summary: 1 Stars
I'm stunned, STUNNED, at all the 4 and 5 star reviews of this film. Watching it, I found it to be beautiful and atmospheric in its sets and cinematography. It is a shame it wasn't a full on horror film, ala Hammer Films. The two younger women in the film are nice to look at, Sharon Tate especially. However, this film is supposed to be a comedy, and it is painfully unfunny. One mild chuckle at best, and now I am hard pressed to remember what that was for. Looking for some reassurance of my opinion, and finding little here, I read Roger Ebert's original 1968 review for the film at www.rogerebert.com. The review is funnier than the film, and it's not one of Ebert's funnier reviews.Movie Review: "I'm no longer the age for this sort of activity."
Summary: 5 Stars
I haven't seen all of writer/director/actor/producer Roman Polanski's films, but the ones I have seen have kind of been hit or miss propositions for me. On the one hand I thought Rosemary's Baby (1968) to be a wonderfully creepy film, but on the other The Tenant (1976) while interesting, I thought to be slightly confusing and lacking a strong sense of direction. Chinatown (1974) is acknowledged by many to be a classic (to which I'd agree), while The Ninth Gate (1999) tended to annoy me with a pretentious ambiguity stemming from a European stylization of making a film obtuse and inaccessible to audiences...of course, these are all just my own, personal opinions, which really don't mean squat in the grand scheme of things...at the end of the day one should really draw their own conclusions based on their own, personal experiences. As far as the film The Fearless Vampire Killers or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in My Neck (1967) goes, I enjoyed it as it served to reaffirmed something which I already knew...whether you like Polanski's films or not, his features are so very individualistic, rarely transgressing on each other, displaying his immeasurable talents, vision, and his ability to adapt to a wide range of material. Co-written by Gérard Brach (Repulsion) and Polanski (the latter also directed and starred), the film features performances by Jack MacGowran (Tom Jones, Doctor Zhivago), Alfie Bass (The Lavender Hill Mob), Ferdy Mayne (Where Eagles Dare, The Vampire Lovers), Iain Quarrier (Cul-de-sac), and Sharon Tate (Valley of the Dolls), who would later marry Polanski about a year prior to her murder (and that of their unborn child) at the hands of Charles Manson and his cult followers.
As the film opens, it's a moonlit night, and we see a horse drawn sled traveling down a snowy road, the occupant of the sled being the driver, Professor Abronsius (MacGowran), and the Professor's assistant Alfred (Polanski), who, on the surface, appear to be a pair of buffoons, but in such a way where the same buffoonery that gets them into trouble, also get them out, illustrated throughout the story. Seems the Professor, who has long since been labeled `a nut' by his once colleagues, is traveling the Transylvanian countryside in order to further his knowledge about vampires and their ilk. After arriving at a small village and availing themselves of the services of the local inn, telltale signs abound with regards to the presence of vampire activity within the area...the interiors of the inn are decorated with strings of garlic cloves, a hunchback arrives at the inn to collect supplies, and so on...and sure enough, not soon after their arrival, the innkeeper's daughter Sarah (Tate) is abducted, her father killed (and subsequently turned) while searching for her, and the boys are off to a nearby castle in order to find her, the Professor with an eye towards proving the theories which he's read, and Alfred more so because he's become smitten with the girl. They eventually do find the castle, along with its master, in that of Count von Krolock (Mayne), along with the Count's very effeminate son Herbert (Quarrier)...quite the aristocratic pair they are...the Professor and Alfred find themselves guests of the Count and learn of a grand gala approaching, one to be held within the castle, a sort of cadaverous celebration where the boys may not only be the guests of honor, but also the main course...
I've given some details about the plot, but there's really no way what I've written displays all the wonderful aspects inherent within the story and the film itself. There is just so much going on at any one point one could watch this film a number of times and still see something new each viewing. One of the aspects that impressed me the most, from the beginning and throughout the film, was the extensive amount of detail and attention to creating a complete sense of putting the viewer within the context of the story. It's like a fairy tale come to life. The period sets and pieces are exquisitely beautiful and intricate, featuring a serious eye towards detailing, as are the props, costumes, backdrops, etc. There's just such a pervasive feel to the entire film in terms of providing the appropriate gothic setting, something that used to be a common factor in both Hammer and Universal horror productions during their respective heydays...and keep in mind, this is supposed to a mixing of comedy and horror. And when I say comedy, I don't mean the laugh out kind (there is a good deal of slapstick, but that's not the specific humor I'm talking about here), but a slinky, subtle type of humor blended as well as I've ever seen in a cross genre film. A perfect example of this delicate melding comes in the sequence when Alfred, while searching the castle rooms for Sarah, accidentally walks in on the Count's dandy of a son Herbert. The comic touches in Herbert's coy advances soon erupt into an explosion of fanged violence that results in a Keystone Cops type chase through the castle. Another one of my favorite sequences is when the Count and his son are preparing to retire to their ornate coffins prior to the sun rising, aided by their hunchbacked manservant Koukol. After they get settled in (and boxed up), here comes Shagal (Bass), the once innkeeper now vampire, dragging his meager pine box into the crypts with the intent of also settling in for the day. Koukol, seeing this as an affront to his masters, proceeds to unceremoniously drag the coffin, which Shagal is now sitting in, down to the stables, as that's a seemingly more appropriate setting from someone of his class, with Shagal weakly protesting the entire way. The performances are strong all around, particularly that of Count von Krolock, played by Mayne. He embodies the aristocratic and sinister features one would expect from his character, along with including enough distinctions to separate his character from those of his cinematic ilk. Another wonderful aspect is the original music provided by regular Polanski collaborator and composer Krzysztof Komeda. It's suave, sophisticated, spooky, enchanting, oft times understated, and compliments film without actually drawing away from the visuals. All in all this is perhaps one of the best crafted films I've seen straddling two genres that normally don't play well together, and worth a look for those who can appreciate the expertise involved. In terms of contemporary artists, I might compare this to the better outings by individuals like Terry Gilliam or Tim Burton.
Presented on this DVD is the original version of the film, the one seen by European audiences. Apparently, prior to the film's American release, MGM had mangled it pretty well, removing about ten minutes, adding a new opening sequence, and hacking the soundtrack to pieces, which might explain why it didn't do as well here as it did overseas. The anamorphic widescreen (2.35:1) does looks very good, but there does seem room for improvement. The Dolby Digital 2.0 mono audio comes through clean. As far as extras, there's a theatrical trailer for the film (also presented in 2.35:1 aspect ratio, along with a comical vintage featurette titled The Fearless Vampire Killers: Vampires 101 (10:18) which appears to be a lengthy promotional piece created to help advertise the film back when it was originally released.
Cookieman108
Movie Review: Excellent!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
Brilliant mixture of humor and horror...a perfect balance between shocks and laughs. It's a must if you like to collect classic vampire movies...!!!Movie Review: Fun Vampire Movie
Summary: 5 Stars
This is one of My Favorite Vampire Movies. It starts out with Professor Abronsius and His only Disciple Alfred Traveling in Transylvania to find Vampires their luck changes for the best when the innkeepers daughter Sarah is Kidnapped by Count Von Krolock a Dracula Like Vampire. The The Professor and his Assistant go to the Castle to Rescue her and thats when the fun begins
This is on my List of Favorite Vampire Movies
Love at First Bite
Dracula A.D. 1972
Dracula: Dead and Loving It
The Fearless Vampire Killers or: Pardon Me But Your Teeth Are In My Neck
Blacula
Salems Lot - 1979
Movie Review: Fairytale In Three Acts
Summary: 5 Stars
BEWARE: CONTAINS SPOILERS THROUGHOUT
Three Acts: The Inn, The Castle, The Dance
Dance Of The Vampires is filmed in soft, bewitchingly pure-white snow. Amidst the magical snow filled landscapes of the Dolomite mountains, the fairytale begins. A shrilly chorus starts chanting an ostinato baroque melody, quivering comedically as the notes rise and fall in short, repeated patterns. Bright red cartoonish blood drops dip down the nocturnal blue background, bouncing of the credits. One drop hits a letter and explodes into a little bright read cartoonish bat, then flies away. The nocturnal blue sky casts an eerie azure glow over the snow, as a sleigh enters the screen, jingling along the lovely snow ridden paths. Wispy winds are heard in the distance, alongside fragmented howls.
Professor Ambrosius (Jack McGowran), called "The Nut" by his colleagues, looks frozen. His helper, Alfred (director Roman Polanski), looks scared. A pack of wild, black dogs threatens the sleigh; Alfred, reminiscent of the great Buster Keaton, attempts to threaten the savage dogs with an umbrella. As if an umbrella would scare away wild dogs! Thus, the adventure begins.
Ambrosius literally falls into the hands of local townspeople, European-Slavic Jews, who are mysteriously living locked up in an inn. Garlic decorates the rustic-red interior of the confining inn. The Inn-Keeper Shagal (Alfie Bass) and his townspeople deny that vampires exist, and quickly dismiss any talk of castles. They seem ashamed that such monsters even exist, even as they protect themselves from being victims of the vampires. They seem even more ashamed at their inability to fight off the monsters, much like the European and Slavic Jews who were unable to fight the Holocaust.
Alfred ogles the full bosom of the vivacious, tempting, red-haired Sarah (Sharon Tate), Shagal's daughter, whose sexual energy ignites the introverted Alfred. Shagal (who's also sexually repressed) attempts to repress her sexuality, which creates a link between the fear of monsters and the fear of sexuality. The link is left unexplored, because people know that there is really nothing to fear, there's no true danger, but they like being scared anyway. The vampires are in far-off castles, sex is not talked about, and Alfred slams the door shut as Sarah sensually bathes.
Small, cramped spaces, repressed sexuality, and lack of cleanliness unsettles Sarah; soon, Count Von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne) bites Sarah as she's bathing, and takes her away from the Inn. As the Professor and Alfred stare at the blood on the bubbles and snow drifting downward onto the bath, Shagal immediately follows the Count, and is also bitten. After a chase, Ambrosius follows Shagal in pursuit of the vampires, and the fearful, childish Alfred follows in hot pursuit of Sarah.
They find the picturesque, gothic castle, its feudal exterior slightly in ruin, snow enveloping the nooks, battlements, floor, steps, and crannies, creating an enchanting fairytale visage. Alfred and Ambrosius scale the roof, slide down, meet the hunchback, and leer at the hellish-red schemed interior of the castle, which slightly resembles the interior of a church, with high-vaulted arches. Soon they greet His Excellency. The Count (His Excellency) and the Professor discuss the philosophy of vampirism. The Count compliments the Professor's well-written vampire book, and asks the Professor to sign a copy for him. The Count's flamboyantly homosexual son likes Alfred.
In the morning, they seek the crypt. Alfred to Ambrosius, whom he calls Master: maybe there is no crypt in the castle.
Alfred, once again Keatonesque, pratfalls and stumbles as he refuses to slay the count, pleading for mercy as Ambrosius hangs halfway down from a window, stuck. Still morning, Alfred finds Sarah bathing (she's not fully transformed), and she refuses to leave the castle. Afterall, there's wide open spaces, open sexuality, and baths.
A gorgeous Dance unfolds before them. Vampires celebrating fresh blood - first let's dance, then we'll feast! Classical baroque music floods the room as the ghastly vampires, adorned in vividly-coloured frocks, move in a classically choreographed fashion; the entire scene resembles Poe's Masque Of Red Death. Sarah, wearing a dazzlingly bright crimson red dress, is the Mask of Death, and she's the center of attention. She looks strikingly beautiful and purely innocent. Alfred and Ambrosius come to the rescue.
They flee the Dance, jump into a sleigh, and take off into the snow, under a midnight-blue sky. Alfred ponders Sarah's delicate, tiny hand, and whimsically dreams about sleeping. Sarah's fangs plunge into his neck...