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Movie Reviews of The AppleMovie Review: A VERY peculiar Moive Indeed! Summary: 4 Stars
Oddly enough, this was a recommendation for me on Netflix, okay, its not all that odd since I love campy movies, but I hadn't watched any campy films of late. Either way, after reading the polarizing reviews on Netflix, I decided to come read the reviews here at Amazon.com and after reading many many reviews and hearing just how deliciously bad this film was, I had to watch it!!!
The movie does not seem to be quite as over the top in some of the areas that people stated, based on the descriptions of the shoulder pads, I thought I was going to see mile high shoulder pads along the lines of what Lady Gaga has (recently) worn, though I get the feeling Gaga was inspired by this film (especially the musical number "Coming" which seems to have very much inspired the bed dancing sequences in the "Alejandro" video). Even if this movie was a source of her inspiration, I doubt she would admit to it, due to it definitely being low on the cool factor, compared to her normal "inspirations ie. Freddie Mercury, Andy Warhol, David Bowie, ect.
The costumes that were the most over the top, oddly enough, was the men's under wear, once you see it, you'll know what I mean! It is just so over the top, and horrifyingly gaudy! Since this was made at the end of the disco-era, the clothing is supposed to exemplify all that was bad about the music industry and the consumerism of the time, and most likely if grunge didn't come along in 1994, Ithe clothing who's to say the clothing wouldn't have been that gaudy by 1994 (look at all the god aweful spandex, sequins, metalics, leg warmers, and shoulder pads of the 80's).
The acting while not all bad, is certainly extremely over the top, and the award for the most campy and over the top must go to Ray Shell's portrayal of the character "Shake" and, wow, this character really reminds me of Chris Tucker's portrayal of the character Ruby Rhod from The Fifth Element, and due to the similarities, it is doubtful this is a coincidence. Other over the top performances such as Vladek Sheybal's (whom is a seasoned performer) performance is extremely hammy and fun to watch! With all the over-the-top acting, one really has to wonder if it was the intention to make a bad movie, I am hedging my bets on yet that is the point, at the only people who play their roles without a wink are the leads Catherine Mary Stewart George Gilmour just were not clued in on the joke (or were to oblivious).
The story is actually fairly intriguing and for what this is, a campy schlock fest, its actually done quite well. The main thing that keeps this film from being a good movie or a much bigger cult hit is that it is probably too chessy and silly for its own good. It is a good-intentioned message film with tongue planted firmly in cheek, and this is probably what keeps it from being a huge cult classic like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", it is so bizarre and over the top yet contains a very in-your-face message about the evils of the recording industry.
Since I am a devout Bible-believing Christian, and I study the Bible daily, it was easy to see the biblical allusions, and the the main ones are taken from First and Last Book of the Bible and in a way, combines the two central and most pivotal events of those books and combines them together (the fall of man and the rapture). There is also a very STRONG reference to the illuminati here. For those of you who may not know, there is a certain sect of people (some Christian, some just conspiracy theorist) who believe the world is going being taken over via the entertainment industry, especially music, and are trying to subvert the masses in to becoming Satan Worshippers with their knowledge of even doing so (though for the non-Christian people who buy in to the Illuminati conspiracy, they aren't worried about that, just mind control). The film portrays exactly this (the oppression of the masses via entertainment and subliminal messages) and the strong use of the triangle and triangles within a triangle only punctuates the central idea of mind control and the illuminati and its roots from the Catholic church (through the biblical allusion). As conspiracy theorist say, basically, the triangle is the Illuminati's symbol, and apparently they are obsessed with geometric shapes.
With those things in mind, it was interesting how they used a symbol synonymous with illuminati, for the mark of the beast, for those unfamiliar with biblical prophecy, Satan will come to earth incarnate and force everyone to have a visible mark on their hand or forehead (though in the film it can be any wear and it is never called the mark of the beast). That was a very clever, if not subtle biblical reference, and with the ending being representative of the rapture, it becomes even more apparent that this is what the mark was meant to represent (also note that the hippie cult appears to have marks on them as well, though not the triangle). Here the hippie counterculture is representative of a life style that is the antithesis of what is the cultural norm and this is exactly what Christianity is (though its a lot more than that, the basic idea is, "Be in the world, not of the world.").
This might seem like a lot of over thought, but once you study the Bible for a while, you begin to notice these things in films a lot, I have studied theology for the last 10yrs (in Bible college as well as at home), and also researched people's belief's on the illuminati (I don't personally believe they exist except in people's minds) and when I come across a film that makes no attempts to veil its jabs at "modern" society via biblical allusions, and conspiracy theories, it is impossible to not dissect it.
If you can enjoy the hammy and campy qualities of the movie, you will find its message to be very relevant even today, look at how much music is controlling people these days (how they think, what they wear, ect), and as ridiculous as the random and unlikely one hour a day work out seems, there is some truth to this, music is a means to control, and even though I do not believe in the illuminati, as a musician I know just how controlling those music executives can be.
So, bottom line if you love over the top spectacles that are campy and ridiculous and movies that take are campy and over the top, but still try to be a serious film, then you will definitely enjoy "The Apple". The dancing (worst choreography in some sequences I have ever seen!), acting, costumes, script, music/lyrics are all terrible (though I should note that by the end of the movie the music seemed to get better, I actually have some of the songs in my head! I am not completely sure if this is cause the music improved or just got used to it!!!
God Bless ~Amy
PS: Just wanted to note, while there is no nudity, there are some scenes with men wearing thongs... No joke!
Movie Review: If You Crossed "Can't Stop The Music" And "1984"... Summary: 4 Stars
This film, released in 1980 and prognosticating all the way to 1994 is a Golan-Globus production, and is essentially a reworking of the Faust legend. (After viewing it I have to wonder if Menahem Golan made a horrible pact with the devil.) I have seen an enormous number of terrible movies in my life, but this is right at the top of the heap for unadulterated camp. I will note now that the four star rating is obviously due to the "so bad it's good quality" of the film rather than any intrinsic redeeming qualities the film actually has.
The film opens at a wretched music contest where the awful band promoted by "Mr. Boogalow" (Vladek Sheybal) is neck in neck with a small-time duo from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, the cloying Bibi and Alphie. Boogalow resorts to devious means to win, but feels threatened enough to attempt to sign them to contracts. Boogalow give them little time to read the contracts and since they don't have legal representation, Alphie refuses to sign, while Bibi signs her soul away. If all this symbolism wasn't clear enough, there is a musical field trip to the lake of fire proving Boogalow's real identity; as a further confirmation Bibi is presented with an apple (not golden or delicious) that she is pressured into biting.
After the premise that music agents are analogous to the devil (not far from the truth in some instances) is firmly established, we learn that in the future cars feature completely ridiculous profiles, that triangles are the only shape sanctioned by B.I.M. (Boogalow's agency), and that B.I.M. and the government are essentially one organization. I was especially amused by the concept of the "National Fitness Program" (a government program sponsored by our favorite Faustian NGO, B.I.M.), though less amused by the dancing involved. On the other end of the spectrum, I was completely unamused by Vladek Sheybal's singing voice when he solos in "The Master," perhaps the worst vocal performance since the day of Florence Foster Jenkins.
Bibi gets a makeover and becomes wildly successful, while Alphie continues to write horrid folk songs and live in a dump. Eventually Alphie decides living in a cave under a bridge is better than his apartment, so he moves in with a commune of hippies with names like "Lotus Blossom." Bibi escapes the clutches of Boogalow and company and joins Alphie, only to have the entire commune arrested for harboring a fugitive. Yes, Bibi is wanted for breach of contract and Boogalow and his team of lawyers and police show up for a final confrontation of Lawyers versus Hippies. This posed a conundrum: which group is less appealing? No, I jest: the movie makes it clear that it is a battle of good and evil on a titanic scale. When our heroes have seemingly no options left, the film takes a spiritual turn and presents some theology decidedly not found in the Bible. The alleged deity, "Mr. Topps," shows up in a golden Rolls-Royce in the sky, turns the hippies to angels, and utterly defeats Boogalow in a scene that must be seen to be believed. I am sure this must have had something to do with the fact that the film was way over budget due to the cost of the insane costumes and musical numbers; well, that and the production team had absolutely no idea how to wrap up this mess.
The film is low on dialogue, but high on musical numbers. It's kind of like a steam roller: once you are relieved that a musical number is over (and you will be), another one starts. The costumes and makeup are delightfully kitsch (I especially like the silver lipstick and the triangular face stickers) and leave no doubt as to when this was made. This film is truly jaw-dropping. I am not especially fond of musicals, but love cheesy movies of all varieties. This is an especially runny, excrementally smelly Camembert, putting it near the top of the bad movie menu of fine cheeses.
"The Apple" is highly recommended for anyone who believes they have seen a film so bad that there is not one worse.
Come on...take the dare...bite "The Apple."
Movie Review: "...meet an actual, actual, actual vampire! " Summary: 4 Stars
THE APPLE aye? Well I can say without a doubt this is the strangest film I've seen in awhile and I've seen FORBIDDEN ZONE, XANADU and THE PIRATE MOVIE all within the last two weeks.
Sometime in the future, 1994 to be exact, the world is controlled by an evil music agent, Mr. Boogalow, who somehow has Big Brother-like control over the police and society in general. Everyday at a designated time everyone, and I mean everyone, must dance for 60 minutes to his BIM music. Also all people must wear a reflective triangle sticker on their face.
Folksy singers Bibi & Alphie don't belong in the BIM-tastic world so Boogalow buys off Bibi and turns her into a BIM superstar. Alphie rejects Boogalow's offer and fights to free Bibi and get her to join a hippy cult with him. She does and just when Boogalow and the evil police are taking them away God, I mean, Mr. Topps rides out of the clouds in his flying Rolls Royce and whisks them away to Heaven.
The one thing I forgot to mention is about every 5 minutes there's a massive overcrowded musical number that makes you cry out "What the Hell is going on!? My brain hurts!" Needless to say I quite enjoyed this movie. It's gonna be a few years before I could sit through it again though.
The DVD has a good picture and sound, but where are the extras? A trailer? That's it? What makes it even more insulting is the trailer had multiple scenes that weren't in the movie.
Catherine Mary Stewart later played Alex Rogan's girlfriend in THE LAST STARFIGHTER. And writer/director/producer Menaham Golan later went on to work on OVER THE TOP, THE DELTA FORCE, AMERICAN NINJA, MISSING IN ACTION, INVASION U.S.A. and tons of movies that molded my young mind.
Movie Review: Biblical, and yet so sinful Summary: 4 Stars
This is another one of those movies you never saw the end of, and you're left wondering how it turned out? This one was just the fact that we had pay TV, and it's 11:00 at night, so the parents want the cable disconnected from the bedroom(Boo-Hiss). This movie is set in 1998, and NYC is under the grips of a movement called "The Apple". The Apple has NYC in it's clutches, and everyday certain songs are played, and everyone is to participate in the dance. Well one day a singing couple named Adam and Eve start playing thier brand of music. Folk romantic type music that is pure, and of heart. Unfortunately for The Apple the music is catching on, so a plan is devised to turn them over to thier side. Adam and Eve are invited to a party in which the hope will be that they can be persuaded to play Apple music instead of thier mush. Eve becomes converted to the Apple, but Adam stands his ground. He leaves Eve with the Apple in the hopes that she'll come home. That's where I left off. It's kind of what would've happened had the real Adam not taken the fruit from the real Eve. That in Genesis Adam turned Eve over to God, and told God that she tried to make him sin instead of what really happened. It's a cheap movie, but it's pretty good.
Movie Review: The future of music, ala CANNON FILMS/MENEHAM GOLAN! Summary: 4 Stars
FINALLY! Relesed on DVD. Someone at MGM finally woke up, smelled the coffee and saw that the lineups of 300+ people for this film at the Egyptian Theatre might meen that people were now ready to "take a bite" of THE APPLE.Sometimes describing this film to people, they think you're might be daydreaming, and in a time where pre-fab karaoke is being rammed down our throats (Ala the "American Idol" franchise), "The Apple" seems moreso apparent with an odd reflection of the music industry. As a Canadian, I liked how Alfie and Bibi were from Moosejaw, Saskatchewan! The songs are cornbally, George Clinton might have done them for blow, but trust me folks, you'd rather hear these tracks than "Clay Aiken sings the Caligula Soundtrack" or "Billy Clippert sings Cole Porter". See it!
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