The Apple
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Movie Reviews of The Apple
Movie Review: Sometimes its soo bad, its sooo good
Summary: 5 Stars
So I did a jig when I saw this movie was available on DVD. This movie is um .... rotten to the core. This movie has been played for the last couple of years in various theaters, and has made it back to cable. Yes, the movie, is horrible, the dialogue is bad, villians sing regge tunes. God comes in a gold Cadillac. Yes, its bad.
I don't think this movie intended to be horrible, but it is, and there lies the beauty of this film. Who would have ever imagined a musical extolling the wonders of taking speed?? Who would have ever thought as a cheap plot device to paste a sticker on your head?? Who in their right minds would have conceived of a dance/orgy scene, surely the solid gold dancers could have done something else in their spare time.
Invite your friends, invite people you want to torture, put this movie in!! This movie is a train wreck, you will not be able to take your eyes away. I would love to tell you there are lots of redeeming qualities, but there aren't many. This movie is just plain bad.
Movie Review: GREATEST MOVIE NEVER!
Summary: 5 Stars
or Greatest Movie Never Seen! Wow, I had a smile on my face and was shaking my head in disbelief throughout this whole movie. It just got better and better! Like rubber-necking at a horrific accident, you watch, stunned, with your mouth wide open! This is SO FUN! If you were a teenager in the 80's you will appreciate and enjoy this!
It's 1980 predicting what 1994 will be like. It's a love story. It's Satan vs. God. Characters sing their lines. Cars of the future resemble 70's station wagons! Unbelieveable costumes and makeup. There are hippies. The main character wears his jeans so tight he walks like he has braces on his legs. There's a surreal ballet number in an abandoned convention center. A demonic cave. An oh-so-subtle sex song. Jewish transvestities! Harry Potter's Professor Sprout gets felt up! God drives a pimpmobile! Triangles! And it all comes together in one big fat mess!
Long Live Bibi and Alphie!
My sister is getting a copy of this for Christmas; she will HOWL!
Movie Review: Take A Bite...You Won't Regret It!
Summary: 5 Stars
I purchased this DVD without having seen it, nor really knowing what it was about. Night of the Comet (somebody, PLEASE put that out on DVD, too, PLEASE!) is one of my all-time favorite silly movies. The best thing about NOTC is Catherine Mary Stewart who also plays the lead in The Apple. Having seen her sing in Scenes From The Goldmine, I wasn't so surprised that The Apple turned out to be a musical.....what suprises is the genre being blown away. The Apple is a combination of Rocky Horror, Xanadu, Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and several other movies that came after it. Fans of campy movies, campy musicals or just plain bizzare stories should check this out. The highlights are the numbers including The Apple and I'm Coming For You, with the latter looking like something that was too racy for Barbarella. I don't know why it took 25 years for this amazing film to be reissued for home viewing, but snatch it up while it's available!Movie Review: SUPER BAD MOVIE ALERT! You must appreciate dreck!
Summary: 5 Stars
Oh, where does one begin? "The Apple" is just one of the best cinematic experiences I have had in my life. I saw a midnight showing of it in March of 2004 at a theater in NYC, and the entire place was shrieking and howling in miserable delight. If you revel in amazingly bad movies (and this one's a musical from 1980, so you know it's really gonna stink), this is for you. Do not pass up the chance to own this piece of crap. I'm completely serious. The shimmer of the costumes, the awful acting, the terrible music, the tight little thongs everyone is wearing and oh yes--it's set in the awfully distant future of 1994. And praise that big juju apple--we are lucky enough to get it in widescreen format. See it!Movie Review: Hey, hey, hey! BIM's the only way!
Summary: 5 Stars
In the short span of 6 months, I have become completely obsessed with The Apple. It's so bad, it's genious! I LOVE almost every song, so much so that I got a copy of the soundtrack off eBay and also downloaded the tracks onto a cd. I have even gotten others into this movie, including one of my co-workers, who is now working on an offical Apple fansite! I cant'explain my obsession with this fascinatingly awful movie. It's THE most entertaining movie I have ever seen! The songs, the acting, the costumes, the finale! Wow! What were they on? I only hope that they screen this movie here in Ottawa again someday. I would love to see it on the big screen! This is truly THE cult movie to end all cult movies!!!