The Apple
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Movie Reviews of The Apple
Movie Review: God-Awful Movie....And I Can't Wait To Own It!
Summary: 5 Stars
I first saw this movie when my family first got cable back around 1982. I couldn't imagine why this movie was ever made because it had to have been the absolute worst movie produced in the history of modern cinema. The stiff acting, the cheesy dialogue (Bibi going to tour "The West Coast??" I guess playing New York wasn't that big of a deal), the songs, scary choreography. And set (at the time) in futuristic 1994. Evidently the fashion style of choice in '94 was destined to be shiny garbage bags. And now, this god-awful movie is being released on DVD, in of all months, the month of my birthday. And you better believe I'll be one of the first people to own it! My top favorite movies are "Roxanne" with Steve Martin, "The Shawshank Redemption"...and "The Apple." And I'm not kidding. As far as cinematic greatness, this movie doesn't belong in the same category as your basic Academy Award winners. However in terms of what you could watch over and over and never get tired of it, this ranks very high. Yes, it's a horrible story, badly acted, the songs make me cringe - "Pumpin' power by the hour - Speeeed!" "It's a natural natural natural desire, meet an actual actual actual vampire!" (and on a side note, what was with that guy with the warthog / pig nose and blue hair during that whole "hell" scene?), the ending still has me shaking my head (was Mr. Topps God?? And why did he arrive in the limo, yet he and everybody else walked away? And did they actually walk to another planet, which in reality is a pretty far walk...but if they left in 1980, they probably should be there by now). But I love every second of this movie. Love the cheesiness, love the music (I was so happy when a friend found the vinyl soundtrack in a bargain bin.....for...um......25 cents...I've since turned every track into an MP3 and burned it onto a CD since I know Cannon won't be doing it) and love everything about this movie.
And while I'm excited that this is going to be released on DVD, I just know that there won't be any special features on it, which bothers me. I have to see some behind the scenes stuff, some outtakes, some DELETED scenes, director commentary throughout the movie, interviews with the actors (then AND a "where are they now?" section), clips from when the movie was released and the impact it had around the world when it opened - you know - STUFF!! But at least it looks like it'll be available in full screen and wide screen, so there won't be that "pan and scan" look from my copy where there's dialogue going on from people off to the side of the screen - perhaps I'll now be able to see all of the action.
Even though I'm going to, it's hard for me to recommend this movie because of the difficulty I experience when trying to explain the plot of this movie for people. I always run into problems with how Dandi (white guy) and Pandi (black girl) are brother and sister (who did Mr. Boogaloo get busy with?). And I didn't know that the movie was SUPPOSED to be set here in America (all these years, I just assumed it was Germany or somewhere in Europe because nothing in the movie looked like anywhere in the U.S. - especially that subway tram Alfie was riding on after that recording session). But I will say that the world in this movie has the best race-relations I've ever seen - race is not even an issue with anything. As convoluted and ridiculous as this movie is, there's a great lesson we all could take from it; especially in the world today.
Anyway, I love this movie and can't wait for its release date. And if you haven't seen this movie and you're looking for pure escapism, fantasy and campiness, as well as a happy (if not puzzling) ending, put logic and reason aside, keep an open mind and you will enjoy this. Just watch out for "the red tape."
Movie Review: Humor. satire, song & dance, in a rock opera format.
Summary: 5 Stars
I've liked this clever film enormously since it first came out in 1980. I've also read all the bad reviews which said it's awful, a bomb, "so bad it's good"! Just another indication that Americans have lost their sense of humor, and are too dimwitted to understand satire anymore. OF COURSE the "acting is bad"- it's because this is a parody in rock opera form; NO ONE in the film is taking this seriously; albeit, there is a quasi-serious message, which you may or may not agree with, but it's there nonetheless: Big powerful evil guys, in the form of giant coporations, great wealth, power & fame, can seduce you and win for awhile, but goodness, virture, and simplicity will win in the end. Your basic "the meek shall inherit the Earth philosophy"! Agree, don't agree, it's there anyway, and yet given in a casual, non-serious, playful, song & dance way. It is all very cute, put together intelligently, with double entendres and symbolism everywhere that the producers literally beat you over the head with, with tongue in cheek! But SO-O-O many people that have seen this movie have dismissed it too quickly and simply not gotten its cleverness, which is a shame. I love the music, the voices are excellent, especially George Gilmour, who wrote many of the songs, and Pandi and Dandi (beautiful Grace Kennedy and Alan Love) are good traditional rock and rollers, owned by the evil, totalitarian, monster corporation which seeks to take over everything - like the old Soviet Union. The parallels are there, and this was 1980, before the "evil empire" fell, so the message of this move was right on point for the time, and continues to last to today, with others who wish to take away our freedoms and give us a totalitarian form of life - which THE APPLE resoundingly rejects, in humourous, musical, satiric form. There are so many small parodies in the movie that I can't list them, and you see new ones every time you watch it. This is also a story about love, which, as in every good romanctic story, shows that love conquers all. It many be corny, and the message hokey, and the acting tongue in cheek, but it is an excellent movie on many levels that most people have not fully appreciated. It's meant for you to laugh with it, and occasionally at it, to appreciate the music and sexy dance numbers, which also contribute to the sexy, materialistic, totalitarian message! It's all there, in a very pleasant format, with performances credibly given considering what they were trying to do - all humor and parodies are difficult to pull off, and they did in this one that all too few people GOT. Vladek Sheybal is absolutely amazing in his tongue-in-cheek portryal of the devil who uses music and a large music corporation to take over everything and everyone, even taking over lovely, innocent Bibi (as the devil did to EVE in the garden of Eden, getting her to bite off a chunk of a similar apple then). But unlike Adam, Alfi never folds, and sticks to his good-guy guns throughout the story, from square one, and is the one person, with virtue, unending love, and a lot of romantic music in his pocket, winning the day, converting Bibi back, and forcing a mythilogical, fantasied "second coming" ("Mr. Tops") which takes all the good people away to some utopia. As I said, the story may be hokey, but no more so than those in the Bible. You may not agree with it, but it gives you a good ride, playfully and musically, with some great tongue-in-cheek satiric bits. Those of you who liked it - now you know why.Movie Review: The Apple: A Desparaged Yet Brilliant Masterpiece.
Summary: 5 Stars
The Apple is a merciless depiction of neo-Eden, flawless in its presentation. Brilliant Israeli director Menahem Golan is the master of his craft. When Copernicus first asserted that the sun, not Earth, was the center of the universe, he attained immediate pariah-status. Yet time proved that he was correct and a brilliant visionary. Those who disparage this starkly beautiful film are those who disparaged Copernicus so many years ago, witness and myopic in their world view. Golan has created a world that is uncanny in its resonance to today's post-Clintonian United States, where corporations choose what music Americans will enjoy and where police officers "break into dance," a subversive symbol of the racial injustice that is today's police force. Dancing nuns? Nostradamus would be proud that Golan could foresee, way back in 1980, the "dance" around the facts of child molestation within the Catholic church. This is truly a tour de force of film verite. In its own brilliant, pitiless way, The Apple evokes our own age in its quest for glitter and success. The Apple doesn't moralize over the fate of the beautiful Mr. Boogelow, who loved so unwisely, although his last song is a thoroughly chilling comment on his life and the world in which he lived (1980).
Catherine Mary Stewart, starlet of The Apple, is a poet and with The Apple as her canvass, this film is as great a cycle of poems as has been written in this century by any poet. This film is so rich and varied that it is difficult to convey how much there is to it. Cleverly constructed, there are hints and cross-references to hidden (and obvious) meanings throughout. Truth and falsity, reality and illusion are constant throughout, side by side, often difficult to differentiate. The Apple is a highly literate, ingenious and intelligent theatrical entertainment, probably cinema's most accomplished screenplay. But while one must respect the screenwriter's wit and erudition, it strikes me as the work of a brilliant impersonator rather than a dramatist with his own authentic voice. The film smells more of the lamp than of the musk of human experience.
Movie Review: So awful, tacky & gawdy that you can't take your eyes off of it.
Summary: 5 Stars
The best way I can describe this musical that came out originally in 1980 is Rocky Horror Picture Show meets Xanadu meets Logan's Run with a little dash of the bible thrown in for good measure.
This is one of the craziest movies that I've ever seen. And as a fan of all things cinematically cheesy, that's saying quite a lot. Mere words can't really describe The Apple. Like Showgirls, it is a movie that every mortal on this earth should be forced to watch at least once.
the movie is set in the far flung future of 1994(!) and finds an evil and scheming music executive Mr. Boogalow trying to take of the world with the power of crass and poorly written pop music. His business is called Boogalow International Music or B.I.M. for short. Mr. Boogalow is supposed to be the devil. He finds an aspiring folk singer/songwriter duo who represent Adam & Eve. They are offered an oppurtuniaty to sign a contract with B.I.M. though Bibi (the female) is for doing that but her male companion in the folk duo Alphi is against it. She signs and he doesn't. Next thing she's working for B.I.M. while Alphi is floudering trying to get his folk/hippie music across to a nation that has been brainwashed by B.I.M. I should also mention that Mr. Boogalow has a son named Dandi who sometimes likes to run around in a tack gold thong.
That's about the best I can do with a plot synopsis.
I swear that practically every man in this movie comes across as either gay or homoerotic to the extreme. All of the women act like they were acting in smut films on the side.
The outfits are gawdy.
The musical numbers are very frequent. In fact, I would say that out of the movie's short 86 minute running time, that over half of it is taken up with musical numbers. My favorites are the brief excursion into hell in which Bibi is being tempted with a massive Apple. This is along with the musical number in which the entire world stops whatever they're doing for an hour to dance to B.I.M. (you have to see it to understand what I'm talking about.)
Anyone who loves cheesey/so-bad-it's-good cinema would do wise to check out The Apple.
BTW, my 5 star rating is purely on a cheese scale.
Movie Review: Oh, my gosh ... I was just crazy about this movie
Summary: 5 Stars
Wow, I saw this too on The Movie Channel (in Calgary, a bounced signal off the mountains, from some isolated town that broadcast it to its residence, was received on our old style antenna on the roof, but only IF we left the aluminum garage door open). Wierdest story you want hear, and how I was able to find this signal.Anyway, THE APPLE .. true about it having some large problems in tackiness and some bad acting in a couple spots (which is forgivable except the line or two given was SO bad). Besides that I just loved 80% of the music; I was in love with Catherine Mary Stewart (a Canadian from Edmonton). The cast was actually excellent and they were good. I was crazy about the storyline and message (hope) etc. and the supremacy of good. But then again, maybe I'm a bit of a refuge from the 60s as the movie says (or a wanna be).
HEY FELLOW WITH THE MP3 .. I looked and looked and looked for the soundtrack. Give me your email so we can connect. Oh and widescreen, hurray; no more long scenes with a -talking lamp- with no people.
There are a ton of talented young people in this. One of the dancers was from General Hospital at the time (Anna from GH; I'm talking 1987, she also had a short lived series with the fellow from Soap). Anyway you see these people all over the place. And the people who played Andy and Pandy ... if that was their voices, wow!
Some REALLY, really good songs, and a couple really poorly done, I suspect poorly recorded mostly. The company I believed turned into Cannon Pictures.
You have to be in a certain mindset to catch onto this movie, but it has lots of amazing things.
Anyway, it has been a movie that I have constantly comeback to thinking about, and you cannot say that about many movies. I recommend it.