Teeth
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Movie Reviews of Teeth
Movie Review: wonderful
Summary: 5 Stars
Wonderful movie. It was a little slow but got funny and incredible towards the end. :) Every teenage boy should see this movie!Movie Review: Great Indy shocker film!
Summary: 5 Stars
A must have for your dvd collection. I watched instantly on Netflix and just HAD to own it! Nothing else needs to be said.Movie Review: Teeth
Summary: 5 Stars
told so many people about that this movie had to get a copy....& got it in the nick of time...thanx mucho!Movie Review: Sex Ed from the darkside
Summary: 4 Stars
Usually during a horror flick the ladies are the ones to squirm but it is quite the contrary in our title feature "Teeth." This film is probably the most unique we've seen in ages. It explores the ancient myth of vagina dentata that was found in several ancient cultures. The way this myth goes is that certain woman have teeth in the vagina which will bite off the manhood of all suitors until a hero comes to conquer the inner beast, turning her into a normal woman. Yeah if your a guy this is by far the scariest horror concept ever created. We'd rather take on Michael Myers and any killer/creature out there instead of going to battle with vagina dentata. The film takes a modern day twist on the myth making it a very entertaining yet horrific experience.
The film starts off with a couple of young kids sitting in a swimming pool. Their parents will soon be married and they will become brother and sister despite the young boys crap attitude towards it. This kid is a total perv and shows the little girl captain winky which then is followed by him screaming. The parents come running out to find the young boys finger deeply sliced up and bleeding. Now we jump to the teenage years and the girl (Dawn) is the leader of a local chastity group. She speaks to kids telling them the importance of saving themselves for marriage. The step brother (Brad) on the other hand is even worse of a perv and now a total drug machine whose sole purpose in life is to nail Dawn, who is his stepsister. Yeah we're thinking this one took place in the midwest. As Dawn leads her group she winds up meeting a Hale Appleman who shares her same views of self preservation. They wind up hitting it off and decide to take a swim down at a local lake. As their swiming they start making out which sends Hale's harmones through the roof. This kid seems so backed up that he's about to explode at any minute, which he soon tries to. He winds up making a move on Dawn and gets shut down. After being shut down he decides it time for some raping and forces himself in her. Now ideally we were hoping Chris Hansen would come out of the cave and read him his computer transcript and then send him on his way to be tackled by a group of cops but instead we have something much worse. Hale enrages the beast within Dawn and gets his manhood chomped off in one of the most disturbing scenes ever.
Now Dawn is so freaked out that she does some research online finding out about the Dentata myth. She isn't sure if thats what she has and decides to go to the gyno for a check up. Sure enough she finds out she does have it once her vagin bites off four of the doctors fingers. Now the poor girl is really screwed up. She has been restraining herself from sex for years and now she founds out anything that goes near her gets ripped to shreds. She had to wonder if she was going to wind up like the 40 year old virgin. She doesn't know who to turn to and decided the only person she can trust is some d bag she knows from school. Once she's over his house he gets her loaded and gets it on with her vowing he will conquer the beast, and does. He gets through the sexy time and keeps his goods in tact. As they go for it again he answers the phone telling his friend he nailed her as part of the bet. Yeah he went for her as part of a bet seeing if he could uncork her. She gets furious and has unleashes the dentata on him taking half his genitals. Now that she realizes she can take charge of her curse she goes to payback her perv step brother by seducing him and biting his wang off too.
In the end she seems to realize it's not all that bad since she can get the ultimate revenge on any guy that tries to take advantage of her. It was definately an experience for us. The film wasn't scary but the idea of this actually happening is one horrific thought. This one definately comes with a decent recommendation from us promising it will be different from anything you've seen before.
Movie Review: COMEDY WITH A BITE
Summary: 4 Stars
There are some movies released that are beyond description. This one comes close. The movie is titled TEETH and it concerns the adventures of a young girl reaching womanhood who...well lets start at the beginning.
Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a young teen who has pledged herself to celibacy. Part of an organization called The Promise, Dawn and her friends have pledged to abstain from sex until they are married, dealing with the ridicule other teens toss their way. The first segment of the film strays into insult territory of groups that make these pledges. But as the film progresses, it makes sense so stick with it.
The pledge to hold on to her virginity becomes more difficult to keep with the arrival of a new boy in town, Tobey (Hale Appleman). The attraction between the two is painfully obvious. Along with another couple, the teens are exposed non-stop to the sensual ads seen on billboards, movies that offer titillation and over exposure to all things sexual. It's only a matter of time before they make the decision to go for it.
But it's not the romance that Dawn expected. They sneak off to a secluded falls notorious for make out couples. Swimming into the cave behind the falls, Tobey begins to struggle with Dawn, resulting in her hitting her head. As he forces himself on her physically she wakes, screams and a crunching noise is heard. When Tobey stands, screaming out loud, we are see he is bleeding and missing the weapon of choice he had used to attack Dawn.
This is where the movie gets its title. Yes, it appears that Dawn has teeth located in her most private of areas. Later in the movie we learn that this is a common tale in mythology known as the vagina dentate (check online, it's real). Unsure of what to do, Dawn returns home leaving the offensive appendage at the cave.
Struggling with what to do, Dawn rides her bike across town to a doctor to be examined. Unfortunately for this doctor, he tends to abuse hid position. This in turn results in Dawn removing several of his fingers.
While all of this is happening, Dawn finds no one to talk to. Her mother is in the midst of dying, her step-father is dealing with the same situation and her step-brother is a totally worthless waste of humanity who thinks only of himself...and of Dawn in an unbrotherly way. Dawn finds comfort in the arms of another young man from school, Ryan (Ashley Springer).
Things go fine between the two as he offers her a consoling ear to listen and a romantic evening that results in her first real experience where nothing happens. But, when he reveals that it was all to win a bet...CHOMP.
How Dawn finally deals with everything from her mother to her step-brother to her own awakening sexuality makes for a funny film. The metaphors of teenage years and dealing with puberty run rampant. Granted it's not for everyone. But fans of films from Troma, off kilter warped comedies, strange movies and more will want to seek this one out.
It does fit the category of the company putting it out (Dimension Extreme) and is most definitely not for children. But if you approach it with an open mind, knowing what to expect, it offers some truly hilarious scenes. Not for the easily offended or squeamish, if something different is what you seek on DVD, then this one is right up your alley.