Survival Island
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Movie Reviews of Survival Island
Movie Review: LET'S GET ZANEY
Summary: 2 Stars
This purportedly steamy erotic thriller basically has little eroticism and no thrills. Billy Zane and Kelly Brook play a wealthy couple who are cast asea when their rented yacht catches fire, due to the temper of the hunky shipmate, Juan Pablo di Pace. First Kelly arrives on a deserted island, followed by DiPace. They initially spar and flirt, and then build a little hut and all is well until hubby Zane washes up too. The romantic triangle is pretty predictable and Zane's performance is typically lifeless and wooden; Brook and DiPace look good but the storyline is spread out to meet the ninety minute timeframe without any real novelties, only a small surprise twist ending. And what in the world does the voodoo shmoodoo have to do with anything? The ocean looks beautiful, too, but the movie's not that noteworthy.Movie Review: bad screenplay turned even worse by a worst female actor
Summary: 2 Stars
the dialog is so unnatural and so contrite. the female leading actor does not look like anything but with a killer figures in white bikini. a stupid scenario tried to mimic 'the blue lagoon' buttered with a bit of brosnan's 'robinson cruso?' junk, mixed some more of 'the swiss family of robison (or is it 'swiss robinson family'? well, whatever). the whole movie would never survived if without bill zane. the latin lover actor also acted so badly. the whole movie is just a disaster, skin-deep shallow and unconvincing at all. we had rejected it out of the dvd player twice, then thought to make the rental worth and decided to force ourselves to finish it. well, still cheaper than going to the Caribbeans in person, can't afford it even in my next life.Movie Review: It's the size that matters
Summary: 2 Stars
The dude that plays Manuel in this mess is the same one that sued the Royal Opera House in London for using a photo of him nude in a production of Rigoletto. He claims that the photographer airbrushed his wanger to make it appear too small. I saw the production when I was in London. He was neither big nor small---just ordinary. Me thinks it is the ego that is big.Movie Review: Skip the movie, see the island instead
Summary: 1 Stars
This movie is a real dud. I can understand why Kelly Brock and Juan Pablo would take this job (who are they?) but was surprised at Billy Zane. He's a pretty good actor and surely, he must get better scripts than this. Maybe it was the location that got him and free vacation. Like I said, skip this movie and head for the Bahamas where it was filmed. Eleuthera is an incredibly beautiful and Twin Coves beach is spectacular. Go there with someone you love and make your own version.Movie Review: Sucked
Summary: 1 Stars
You know those movies that make you feel sick and disgusted, and wish you didn't see the movie to begin with. Well, this is one of those movies. Man, those writers in Hollywood have no class or morals. I don't know what they paid Kelly Brook to do the movie, but I'm sure she realizes now it wasn't worth it.