Student Bodies
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Movie Reviews of Student Bodies
Movie Review: "High School Murder Movie"
Summary: 2 Stars
"This motion picture is based on an actual incident. Last year 26 horror films were released...None of them lost money."
Lest you think we're suffering through the heyday of moronic spoof films (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Scary Movie, Meet the Spartans), consider the early 1980s and the glut of fatuous flicks such as Alfred Sole's Pandemonium, Greydon Clark's Wacko, Howard R. Cohen's Saturday the 14th, or this one, Mickey Rose's Student Bodies.
By far the cheapest of the lot, Bodies was written and co-directed by Rose, the onetime writing partner of Woody Allen who helped pen What's Up Tiger Lily?, Bananas, and the classic Take the Money and Run. Any knack for subtlety or humor was sorely lacking by the time Rose wrote this spoof -- the comedy is as broad as a barn and strictly borscht belt.
Filled to the brim with bad puns, awkward sight gags, Dr. Pepper product placement, and parodies of then-recent horror films such as Halloween and Friday the 13th, Bodies stars Kristen Riter as Toby the good girl virgin and Matthew Goldsby as Hardy, the nerd with a heart of gold. The pair investigates a string of murders by The Breather (Richard Brando), an unseen killer who wears galoshes and disguises his voice with a rubber chicken. The Breather knocks off "wild and crazy" oversexed high school students with obtuse objects such as an eggplant, a chalkboard eraser, and a horse head bookend.
Always the mark of quality, Student Bodies was produced by Allen Smithee, this time around taken by Michael Ritchie, who also co-directed. That he disavowed the film while leaving his name on his next one, the misfiring Robin Williams/Walter Matthau "comedy" The Survivors, is a testament to just how bad this film truly is.
Movie Review: Kinda sucked
Summary: 2 Stars
I read the reviews on this movie and thought that it would be pretty good, so I bought it and was I wrong. This movie sucked, I understand that it's a spoof movie and was supposed to be funny not scary but it wasn't even funny. RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is better, it's funnier and the deaths are better. I don't even understand how the BREATHER was killing people with an eggplant and where did it come from? Did he bring it with him? The paper clip was kinda funny but not really and the death scenes were over fast and you really don't see anything. The BREATHER kept stepping in gum and saying CLICK when he was on the phone with people-again NOT FUNNY, I usually really enjoy these types of movies because I do love scary movies so much but this movie just didn't do it for me and I am a little upset that I spent $[...] bucks on this. Unless you like senseless horror spoofs then don't waste your money on this film.Movie Review: ONE STAR IS WAY TOO HIGH FOR THIS ONE.
Summary: 1 Stars
Student Bodies it unarguably the most dreadful movie I have ever seen, that is saying something since I was born in 1946. I could have gotten past the lack of talent of the actors if maybe at least there was a good plot but I can't even give them that much credit. I'm sorry I can't tell you how it ended but I got so fed up with the heavy breathing of the killer that I just had to stop the movie. After a few days I could still not convince myself that it would be worth my time so took it to a local book store and sold it for $1.00. I'm glad they just gave me the money and didn't take my address down; otherwise once they previewed it for resale they might realize that they just got ripped off.Movie Review: Crap.
Summary: 1 Stars
STUDENT BODIES (1981) Directed by Mickey Rose and Michael Ritchie.
Starring nobody of any importance
Incredibly hideous spoof of 80s slasher films that, besides exactly two
amusing bits(in the first 30 minutes), is badly done all around in the
way only 80s films could be. Crude. Incompently written and directed
with a cast of talentless nobodies. Since the film is a Paramount
production, one character is dressed up like Olivia Newton-John at the
end of GREASE and only demonstrates how some women really should not
wear spandex.
Movie Review: "Scary Movie" this is NOT!
Summary: 1 Stars
Just a few minutes into the movie I could tell this was a dud. Sadly I wasted my time thinking it had to get better - It doesn't!
Its too absurd to be a horror or slasher flick and too dreadfully acted to be funny.
There is a minor twist in the end, but by then it was just too stupid be engaging of the viewer.