Spain... On The Road Again
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Movie Reviews of Spain... On The Road Again
Movie Review: As Woody Allen said: "What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it!"
Summary: 1 Stars
"Spain...On the Road Again" answers the question that did not need to be asked: "What if we made an ELEVEN (11) hour version of 'Sideways', except instead of having two guys driving around California wine country with two beautiful girls, one blonde and elegant one dark and lively, we instead had them drive around Spain?" Oh, and what if instead of it being poignant, funny, endearing, touching and frequently hilarious it was instead self-indulgent, meandering, contrived, aimless and annoying? Oh, and rather than them driving around in a charming old Saab junker while eating and drinking in merely very nice restaurants and wineries they instead drove around in a $100,000 Mercedes convertible while eating in only the very best restaurants? And, oh yeah, another difference, they could also endlessly express vague, meandering opinions that, while displaying a lot of experience with wealthy celeb status consumption, were witless and consistently betrayed a Cliff Notes knowledge of the world around them.
Gwyneth Paltrow is rather touching in a vague, beautiful soccer mom kind of way, although the voyeurism of getting to see her in "real" life wears thin after a short while, and Mario Batali is just being Mario. Claudia Bassols, the Catalan actress pulled in to give Paltrow a gal pal on the trip, is charming and bravely bears her thankless task of escorting Mark Bittman, the food and wine writer from the New York Times. Bittman, the major flaw in the "casting" of this magnum homage to shallow self importance, may have thought that he was channeling a toxic know it all version of Thomas Haden Church's character from "Sideways". But mostly he brings to mind Woody Allen's line from"Annie Hall" when, trapped behind a pontificating self-anointed film "expert" while waiting on line he says "What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it!" My feeling exactly. But instead all I had was the remote to turn off this interminable journey of wandering Hamptons-ites.
Bittman embodies the sort of top of the food chain, know it all, been everywhere and eaten everything, toxic, New York foodie snob behavior that is so insufferable to those who have made their lives outside the realm of Manhattan and Long Island. To every simple joy embraced by others he brings the sulphur if his self regard and baseball card collection of past facts, travels and meals. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are, whatever joy fills your life, it's just another catalog entry for Bittman. He is a one man de-joying machine, relating everything he encounters to other similar catalog entries in his collection of past snobistic experiences. The program could have featured just Mario, who we know can cook and has an at least entertaining ego, with Paltrow, who is lovely and kind of endearing in her not terribly bright but aristocratic self absorption, and cut the whole thing to "just" three hours, mostly of cooking and foods, and it would have been a decent program. As it is, you are being asked to be bear being trapped with these people on a VERY long vacation, from which there is only one escape, the eject button.
Movie Review: A Disaster
Summary: 1 Stars
Surely a good editor would have thrown out most of the material found in these four DVDs and produced a single disc that perhaps would have been passable; but there was no such editor, and thus we are presented with the interminable and repetitive vapidity of four narcissists who have the alleged intention of enlightening us about the food, the culture, and the beauty of Spain; that they would fail in their intention and neither entertain nor illuminate was predictable.
Our guides through this misadventure are a rotund and generally disheveled Mario Batali, a restaurant owner in the States (defined as a celebrity chef); an actress, Gwyneth Paltrow, who does not eat meat unless it comes from a happy bird which has been (preferably) overcooked; Mark Bittman, who may or may not be contributing to the demise of the New York Times, his employer, and whose work includes a book "How To Cook Everything" (enough said); and a pretty and bubbly Spanish actress, Claudia Bassols, who competes with Paltrow for the emptiest of heads. All four are obsessed with themselves and little else. Claudia manages to walk about in a bikini while taking a shower, revealing that she is far more attractive when fully clothed; Mario demonstrates his incompetence with many things, including with his golf clubs. Claudia sings, with Mark, while traveling in La Mancha. Neither one should ever sing in public. In all, these four characters utter comments about the food and the passing scenery which are as trite and forgettable as they themselves seem.
Some of the other reviewers who did not like this offering suggested "Made in Spain" with Jose Andres, as being a far better and more useful culinary tour of Spain. I agree and recommend it as an antidote to "Spain...On The Road Again."
Movie Review: Give This DVD as a Gift for Someone You Do Not Like
Summary: 1 Stars
This DVD show is from the PBS series which I have watched and is really not about Spain. Most of the Spain you will see will be zipping by as a background in a moving car. This series is about the fours hosts and their egos. I found most hours of this show the hosts are talking about themselves and their discussion have nothing to do about Spain.
Case in point
Mark Bittman and Gwyneth Paltrow are in the Alhambra. Do they walk around the Alhambra to take in the magic of this place? No and spend a 10 seconds talking about the interior details of the palace. They find a window with a view and then spend most of their time talking about if Gwyneth would in the future write a cook book with Bittman's help. Does anyone really care if Gwyneth writes a cookbook? Does writing a cookbook have anything to do about Spain? Bittman and Paltrow seem not to care how lucky they are to have visited the Alhambra.
Then they go to the gardens and pilfer some persimmons. This is Gwyneth after taking a bite:
"Oh my God, God, God, God, God."
That's pretty much the kind of stuff she says when she tastes something because she does not have a movie script to explain the how good "oh my god" tastes.
This show is about four people that spend hours talking about themselves and you soon realized five minutes into their discussions it has nothing to do about Spain. Most of what you see is host talking about themselves with little about Spain and in the background..
They are good point of the show but is would fit into less than hour.
Movie Review: Simply horrible
Summary: 1 Stars
This series is definitely a travelogue---a journey into the SuperSized egos of Mario Battali, Mark Bittman, Claudia Bassols, and Gwyneth Paltrow. The episodes are divided thusly: 0.5% food, 0.5% Spanish history/culture, and 99% Battali, Bittman, Bassols and Paltrow endless banter about three things: themselves, themselves and themselves. A tv show about Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie driving through Spain would have been less egotistical, superficial, inane and self-absorbed than this tripe.
It's obvious that Battali wants to be the Dean of Spanish cuisine in America because he can't push Lydia Bastinich and Marcella Hazan out of the Italian spotlight. So he and his gang of egos invade Spain.
Save your time and money. Jose Andres' book and series is a much more informative, entertaining and sincere than this basura (garbage). Andres is the true dean of Spanish cuisine in the US.
PS: if your local PBS station uses this as a marathon for Pledge Week, call them up and tell them you are specifically NOT contributing money to them because you believe in QUALITY programming on your local public television station. That's what I did.
Movie Review: Awful...
Summary: 1 Stars
As background, I love travel and food shows, and I love Mark Bittman (I own several of his cookbooks), but this show is very, very boring and I've never been able to finish watching even a whole single episode! They zip through the beautiful countryside in their convertible (who cares about their stupid car--show us some scenery!), don't really present much information about the food and basically, it's all about them instead of the country or the food. I actually hate this show and its traveling egotists and their inane conversations! If you are truly interested in authentic Spain and its food, watch and/or buy Jose Andres' book/DVD "Made in Spain" as it beautifully presents the country's beauty, its people and its wonderful cuisine!