Movie Reviews for Southland Tales

Southland Tales

	List Price: ~~$19.94~~ Our Price: $14.99 You Save: $4.95 (25%) Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours Buy Used: from $2.90 (click here) Category: DVD See more DVD releases

Buy this DVD movie at online store in your country
Canada

Movie Reviews of Southland Tales

Movie Review: You don't have to be stoned but...
Summary: 2 Stars

Okay, here's the thing. You have to see this movie. If you're a fan of Richard Kelly's "Donnie Darko", if you're a Sci-Fi Fan, if you're just a fan of films in general, you need to see this film. There are just a few things you should do first.

1) Get a little toasted. Score a couple joints (And I'd like to say here that I absolutely am not encouraging or condoning the use of illegal drugs. I'm just saying.), bum a Vicodin from Uncle Sal with the back pain, buy a 6 pack. If you're into yoga do some deep breathing exercises and get a good oxygen buzz going. Whatever. Trust me, it'll help.

2) You probably shouldn't see this movie alone because you're going to need someone to vent to. So invite some friends over. If you have a friend that especially hates sci-fi, be sure invite them because, well, it's always good to torture your friends when you get the chance. Just don't be upset when people start throwing things at your television.

3) Leave the volume on your set alone. You know how sometimes when you're watching a movie and you can't quite figure out what's going on and you can't quite understand what the heck people are talking about? So you turn up the volume up? Don't bother. It's not going to help.

And,

4) Don't expect a payoff. And I know, generally when you watch a movie, even if it's a bad movie, there's some kind of payoff at the end. Some emotionally or intellectually satisfying moment that makes the journey worthwhile. But this is "Southland Tales" and it's just not going to happen. Just let it go.

That said,

You still need to watch this movie. Partly because of the people in it. Yes, Justin Timberlake and Sarah Michelle Gellar and The Rock are all there but Jon Lovitz is also in it. John Larroquette is in it. Mandy Moore is in it. Kevin Smith is in it. Even that kind of bald guy from "The Princess Bride" is in it. We have to of course assume that nobody (Seriously.) read a script before they signed on but they're all there and they're fun to watch. And you have to watch this movie partly because it's the sort of movie that if you're flipping through channels on the TV and you run across it you have no choice but to stop and watch. Because pretty much any arbitrary 15 minutes of this movie is utterly fascinating. The sets, the characters, the execution, even the dialogue will all suck you in. It is, in parts, brilliant and it's only when you string two and a half hours worth of these 15 minute segments together that you get a movie that makes you want to pull your hair out. Because there really is no coherent plot and the story, such as it is, doesn't make sense. Richard Kelly tries to do great things here and fails. He fails gloriously, which, I suppose, is the way you should fail, but he still fails. So buy a case of beer, have the gang over and settle in for one of the most amazingly frustrating movies you've ever seen. You'll be better for it in the end.

Movie Review: jaw-dropping fiasco
Summary: 1 Stars

"Southland Tales," the latest film by "Donnie Darko"'s Richard Kelly, is like the movie equivalent of one of those whistles that only dogs can hear; it is pitched so far out of ordinary human range that most viewers will be wondering where the hell the joke is and why they just don`t get it.

The movie, made in 2006 and released in 2007, takes place in Los Angeles in the not-too-distant future (July 2008), three years after a series of nuclear explosions have all but obliterated Texas and placed the rest of the country on a state of high terror alert. As in most post-apocalyptic scenarios, the threat to national security opens the door for a right wing cabal to take over the government and begin violating the privacy rights of its citizens. For counterbalance, there is also a group of loony neo-Marxists bent on wresting control from the aforementioned Fascists. The movie features Dwayne Johnson (aka The Rock) as a conservative movie star and future son-in-law to a Republican vice-Presidential candidate who becomes a pawn in the life-or-death match between the two clashing ideologies - the outcome of which might well spell the demise of the human race as we know it.

Despite the seriousness and topicality of the subject matter, "Southland Tales" is basically played for laughs, turning the end of the world into an absurd, over-the-top, dystopic farce that thinks it's being hip and knowing about life in a post-9/11/Homeland Security/ Patriot Act world, but which is actually only cheesy, smart-alecky and incoherent. For a satire to work it must have discipline as well as the kind of tethering to the real world that one finds in movies like "Dr. Strangelove" or "Network." Here, the film establishes no familiar reference point upon which to build any kind of compelling drama. As a result, we quickly lose interest and focus, while the enterprise itself spins ever increasingly out of the filmmaker's control.

Janeane Garofalo, Sarah Michelle Gellar, John Larroquette, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore, Amy Poehler, Miranda Richardson, Seann William Scott, Wallace Shawn and Justin Timberlake are just some of the actors who might want to seriously consider getting this piece of cinematic excrescence expunged from their resumes.

The greatest offense wrought by this eclectic and unholy mixture of sophomoric satire, comic book realism, grunge chic and apocalyptic paranoia is that it runs for an interminable two hours and twenty-four minutes, making this hands-down the most unendurable and unwatchable movie travesty I've encountered in years.

Movie Review: Southland Tales
Summary: 5 Stars

Actually, haven't watched it yet, but I recommend any movie with Mandy Moore in it. I love her! I bought it just because she is in it!!

Movie Review: Southland Confusion
Summary: 1 Stars

First off, Sarah Michelle Gellar was as beautiful as ever.

Unfortunately, that's the only good thing I can say about this film. Disjointed, confusing, bad dialogue, horrible acting, no plot (if there is one, please, someone explain it)...basically, you name it, that's what was wrong with this waste of time.

I rented Southland Tales on Sunday. It took me three days to get through. On Sunday I watched 10 minutes and turned it off. On Monday I decided to try again and that time I got through 30 minutes before I became nauseas. On Tuesday I started from that 30 minute mark and finished it. Every time I was hoping it would get better but it got progressively worse and confusing.

I'm one of the few people who didn't like Donnie Darko but it was ten times better than Southland Tales. I don't mind David Lynch style films. I love Mulholland Drive, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man, and Lost Highway. But Richard Kelly is no David Lynch. Probably the only thing Kelly has going for him is the screenplay for Domino which wasn't that bad.

I digress. My review isn't that constructive but it's hard to be constructive when everything about a film is wrong. Southland Tales should have never been made.