Skyscraper
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Movie Reviews of Skyscraper
Movie Review: My review of Skyscraper
Summary: 4 Stars
This movie suprised me. It was actually a lot better than i thought it would be. The action and plot in this movie was similar to the Andy Sidaris produced and written action flicks that starred several Playboy playmates. You learned to really despise the villans in this flick. The nude scenes with Anna were great too. What a body she had! However, it made me reflect rather sadly seeing Anna and her son Daniel together in scenes especially since they're both gone and died so young. If i didn't like one thing, at times they went a tad bit too far making the heels look almost like super men or indistructable. However, the way the heels "bought the farm" in the end seemed very justifiable, in most cases. I had originally bought this dvd because i wanted a rememberence of Anna. I am glad i did, for that reason and it was also more entertaining than i expected.Movie Review: Unless if you are waiting to see Anna Nicole Smite naked, stay away
Summary: 3 Stars
The subject explains my point, and is the reason I caught a >look at it. She can't act, and the plot is equally as stale. It could do the trick for ya if your wanting something pathetic for your next frat party, but even then it stands to be even to weak for that!Movie Review: Very lame but a movie to just be curious about
Summary: 2 Stars
As we all know that Anna Nichole Smith has no acting talents. She is just good to be a model with large assets. Skyscraper was lame and so was the plot. I am suprised that this has a R version as much soft core porn is in this. I have to say it is a cult classic and will be a rare DVD film. If you need something to have a good laugh and if you have the mind set, this is the movie for you!! I gave it two stars because I actually like Ms. Smith in her reality TV series on E!Movie Review: In My Most Terrifying Nightmares I Have Never Contemplated A Movie This Excruciating
Summary: 1 Stars
"Skyscraper" stars Anna Nicole Smith as Carrie Wisk, a helicopter pilot for "Heliscort," an air taxi service in Los Angeles. She is married to an LA cop and finds herself in the midst of a confusing plot complete with government conspiracy, terrorist ninjas, gun battles, a top secret briefcase in a dumpster, and an obligatory shower scene. The script is largely incoherent, but it's better than the acting. Her accent is beyond tolerable, and her countenance does not exactly lend plausibility to her casting as a pilot of one of the most notoriously difficult to fly machines on earth.
After a subplot about wanting to have a baby and her husband's fear of flying (apparently her boss just lets her take the helicopter home and use it for errands), her hubby, Gordon (Richard Steinmetz) gets dropped off at terrorist central, where he promptly asks one of the bad guys to cuff himself (I guess police procedures are a bit more laid back in LA). While Carrie whisks the bad guys from terror site to terror site obliviously, Dudley (Gary Imhoff), the worst security guard ever, realizes that a huge skyscraper is being taken over by terrorists and its occupants are hostages. The next half hour or so features lots of extremely bad accents, ridiculous stereotypes, and plotpoints that lead nowhere. Suddenly the least likeable character in the movie enters the distasteful melange on a Big Wheel. Who could it be? Why it's Billy Ray, played by Daniel Wayne Smith, Anna's late son and obvious kidnapping fodder, who is the only one able to escape the vicious terrorists while riding around the building going "vroom." Seriously. In real life both Anna and Daniel had tragic lives; in this film you will have no difficulty sensing their special relationship, as acting talent is evidently largely inherited.
Of course Gordon is the police officer assigned to the case, and after a disgusting flashback establishing that Carrie excels at marksmanship (Caution: the love theme from "Skyscraper" is far more odious than anything ever recorded by "Berlin"), Dudley and Carrie team up to retake the building. Dudley explains that the "Emergency Containment System" is activated, rendering the building incapable of letting anyone in or out, in violation of every building code on the planet. Despite this revelation (and lots of fretting from the building's architect, which pads the film immensely), the next shot is a cop walking in an open door.
Since everyone is sealed in the building, Carrie calls on her vast intellect and sets the building on fire, and agrees to give herself over to the terrorists. (Seriously.) This is when I learned two very interesting things: first, in LA a hook and ladder truck responds to a trashcan fire; and second, an abundance of Shakespearean quotes in a terrible movie only exacerbate the awfulness of the film, they do not raise the standard of dialogue. The terrorists don't seem to grasp that shooting the hook and ladder truck with a Rocket Propelled Grenade will attract police scrutiny, and reinforcements arrive in record numbers. Carrie and Gordon rendezvous in the basement, and it's Carrie who goes to rescue the hostages, not the trained police officer. You just know that the terrorists will eventually use hapless Billy Ray as leverage, drawing Carrie into a karate death match on the roof, and you would be right. I won't tell you how it ends, but I'm pretty certain you can guess (like you actually needed to watch this thing to know).
This movie is relentlessly cheap: in actuality only one helicopter appears onscreen playing all airborne roles (check the registration and very temporary "Police" decals if you don't believe me), and except for the scenes in Carrie's house (complete with Marilyn Monroe print) and the helicopter scenes, it's pretty much shot in an office tower, making the budget lower than low. If you are after a bad movie, this definitely fits the bill, but it's not remotely entertaining, even for camp value. Smith appears out of shape and not especially alert, and her acting (while not the worst in the film) is not so much funny as sad. This is a long, tough slog and I can't recommend it for any reason: even if you goal was to see Anna and her ample assets, this film is beyond the threshold of pain.
Movie Review: Brace yourself!
Summary: 1 Stars
I don't actually own this DVD. A friend and me were in the video store, in search for the lamest movie the store had to offer. Some movies can suck so much that they are actually enjoyable to watch. We stumbled across Skyscraper, a true masterpiece in movie dullness. What convinced us? Well, that has to have been Anna Nicole Smith's resume. Is read as follows:
*Playmate of the year 1993
*Sex diva beyond comparison
*Married to an ancient billionaire - widow short after the wedding
*H&M Lingerie model
*Possibly the least talented actress in the world.
This movie is positively the lamest, most boring, worst scripted, worst acted, badly paced movie ever made in the 90s. Words can't describe how much this movie sucks. We were in the mood for something really cheap to diss the hell out of, to really have a huge laugh at. This movie didn't even manage that! Anna Nicole Smith's acting is absolutely non-existent. As soon as she opens her mouth you can tell she is reading off a script board that someone is holding up behind the camera. She can't even move, walk or run without looking awkward and rehearsed. You can tell she is thinking really hard, conscious of every move she makes. You really start feeling sorry for the poor chick. This entire movie has to be a joke - on her! And not even her overly exploited boobs save this movie, because there is a great chance you've already turned it off before that first practically-soft core-porn scene unfolds on the screen. Stay as far away from this movie as you possibly can.
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