Sixteen Candles (High School Reunion Collection)

Sixteen Candles (High School Reunion Collection)

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Movie Reviews of Sixteen Candles (High School Reunion Collection)

Movie Review: Dong! Where is my automobile?
Summary: 5 Stars

This movie goes much deeper than your average teen comedy. The social, political, and religious undertones are far too prominent, yet never discussed. Farmer Ted may have reached the supreme peak his kind could, but without the Polaroid, he might as well had just bought the floopy disks!

In the shower scene, the breasts are not only shown in their natural splendor, but are celebrated and demand to be worshipped. The loud, single drum instantly forces you to look at the screen and whether you are male or female, you cannot look away. Perfection needs not be appreciated, but worshipped. Samantha knew this. She did not really want Jake, she wanted Carolyn! Yes that's right, her entire plan backfired when she wound up with Jake and not Carolyn on the table. Oh what a happy ending we were denied. I always imagine Sam and Carolyn kissing then having a giggle fest as they cover themselves with cake frosting.

Farmer Ted, King of the Dipsh*ts as he calls himself is really the future. You don't have to be Nostradomas to see the identical qualities between Ted and G.W. Bush. We were warned, we tried to fight the system, but our history was written long before the voting booths opened.

The 'Jock Strap' Twins. Remember these derelicts on the bus? The ones with the Laser Tag guns? They represented Jesus and the Devil. Everyday you are bombarded with sin, temptation, corruption, good deeds, sorrow, and joy. They hit you like a laser tag ray. A 'direct hit' is scored by both sides, but who will you succumb to. I don't agree with the movie's answer of just getting off the bus and ignoring both, the front yard is certainly not Purgatory.

'Headgear Girl'. It should be obvious to anyone that this character represents the Florida Agriculture Commision of 1993. Remember the water fountain scene and the 'Ah, yeah.' on the bus? Now put two and two together. See what I mean? John Hughs is a true seer. If only we had paid attention.

And last we have Jake the Lion hearted. He is Desperation, The Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse. The ugly sweater, the Rolls Royce, the sheepish voice when talking to grandparents on the phone. What we never saw was the lunchbox. Here is where executives got nervous and thought John was taking his film too far. The two scenes with Jake carrying his lunchbox were deleted, (and rumored to have been destroyed so there was no way they'd EVER be discovered). The lunchbox depicted the double murder of the Bordens at the hand of their daughter Lizzie (yes I know it was her step-mother stay with me here). John was hired by Madagascar agents to give them a message through this movie, and the lunchbox was the clue. You have to remember this was during the 80's and the Evil Empire of the Soviet Union loomed over us like Death. Supposedly, the clue had something to do with an alliance between Egypt and the Republic of Chad.

So the question remains, does a girl want a pink one or a black one?

Summary of Sixteen Candles (High School Reunion Collection)