Scarlet Diva
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Movie Reviews of Scarlet Diva
Movie Review: I love Asia Argento...but absolutely HATED this movie
Summary: 1 Stars
First let me say that this movie DOES, indeed, have subtitles. Unfortunately, this is just one of those annoying DVDs where you actually have to turn them on with your remote.
I personally think that Asia Argento is sexy in a very skanky sort of way. I shouldn't like her as much as I do, but I do anyway. I think she's gorgeous and her pelvic tattoo is amazing. I also think she usually has great taste in the projects she takes on in Europe, but her American films leave a lot to be desired. Unfortunately, this is NOT one of her great European movies. In fact, I think the other reviewers who refered to this movie as "pretentious" were being way too kind.
While I admire what Asia was wanting to do with this movie, it comes across as more of a PRETENTIOUS ( I couldn't think of a better word) teenage-goth-girl-sex-fantasy. It's a low budget DV feature done in a pseudo-Dogma 95 style. Translated that means the script is very minimal and the production values aren't all that great. Some would have you believe this is for "artistic" effect. Personally, I think that's a bunch of crap. The teenage-goth-girl-sex-fantasy aspect gets REALLY old after about 5 minutes. The lack of an interesting plot doesn't even make the more superficial T&A aspects worth watching. (AND I LOVE MY T&A!!!!!!!)
Besides the nudity, I think the only other aspect of this film I liked was the jab they took at director Gus Van Sant, refering to a fictional version of Cleopatra he would direct. (I've heard the Italians don't like Gus or his movies.)
My personal recommendation is not to waste your time with this movie. If you must watch this film, borrow a copy from a friend. If none of your friends own it, or you don't have any friends, rent a copy. If you are so absolutely obsessed with seeing this movie, to the point you just have to buy a copy, get one from Amazon Marketplace. Don't pay more than $5 or $6 for it, it's 90 minutes of your life you will never get back again.
Movie Review: Pretentious
Summary: 1 Stars
Biggest piece of pretentious (...) I've seen in a long long time!!!
It's all very autobiographical about this really "cool" and "talented" actress Anna Battista who is adored by her public and so wants to get into directing. Daria Nicolodi plays Anna's mother. (Who else?) And Asia is shown as nude as can be involved in a handful of sex scenes that are at times bordering on the harder side of softcore (all of course in the interest of "honesty"). And that's about the only good thing that can be said about the movie.
The film just screams "Me! Me! Me!" Pity that not everyone who is director, writer and actor in one is automatically an Orson Welles. Prior to the start we even have a clip of Asia advising us that we probably heard already how bad the film is, but that it REALLY is very good (shouldn't that be up to the viewer to decide???) and that it had saved her life blah blah.
This movie has - hands on stomach - some of most pathetic and amateurish performances I have seen in quite some time. It so wants to be arty, hip and experimental and is even shot in three different languages: English, Italian and French. I would have actually preferred if the English parts had also been subtitled as I really haven't got a clue what Ms Argento was mumbling most of the time. In actual fact this ended up being the first DVD where I completely gave up on following the director's commentary: I had to really crank up the sound on it, and still found it hard to hear what she had to say (contentwise: very little anyway). For someone who is supposed to be such an expressive actress, Asia simply has the most boring, dull and expressionless voice I have ever heard recorded.
I was never the biggest Asia Argento fan, but after watching this flick my respect for her dropped to new lows. This lady has one of the biggest Egos in the biz, with unfortunately very little talent or trace of humour to boost and is an utter moron full of pseudo-intellectual pretensions.
Movie Review: Pointless
Summary: 1 Stars
The beginning of this film sees Asia Argento address her audience, saying that after watching this film you might learn more about her, then again, maybe you won't. There's no meaning to her statement.That sums up this film! A series of pointless episodes in the life of an actress (supposed to be a semi-autobigraphical account). She rolls from one episode to another, taking drugs, masturbating, driving to northern Italy, taking more drugs, being on a photo shoot and taking drugs, fondling another woman (who just comes up to her door (Asia can't remember her). The woman fondles her for a while, saying she's got a taxi waiting to take her to the airport, but she's got plenty of time for a quickie, but then they just kiss for about 30seconds before the woman departs. Asia's left still wondering who she was!)
Asia travels around by car, aeroplane, and train, has a few more photo shoots, takes more drugs. Has lots of hallucinations about aborted/unborn children, and past lovers.
Does this sound self-indulgent? Yes, because it is. Asia obviously thinks her life is so interesting, that she is so great, you'd want to see what a mess she's made of it. What a self-centred/self-important piece this film is(If I can use some Australian slang... she's up herself!)
Movie Review: Self-Indulgent Home Movie
Summary: 1 Stars
I'm not that familiar with Asia Argento, but the photo shoots I've seen of her are great. She's a beautiful girl and, from what I understand, an up-and-coming actress.But this movie played like a self-indulgent and occasionally pretentious home movie. Characters play like caricatures. Anybody buying this film for copious nude scenes with Asia will probably be disappointed--unless you're riveted by her shaving her armpits in a long bathroom scene.
Otherwise, you're watching her catch planes, travel, score some drugs, chase a musician, etc.
And it all looks like a home movie.
Movie Review: 1 Star for the Flick, 5 for the Juggs.
Summary: 1 Stars
This movie was so low brow and low budget it was sad to watch.
It was more of a movie about Asia's secret passions, take the first scene in the trailer, getting taken from behind by the black guy...gimme a break.
The only thing and I mean the ONLY thing worth watching in this train wreck was the young woman toward the end with the HUGE breasts! I mean my mouth dropped at how sexy that woman was.
For the rest of the film...I spit on the time I wasted fast forwarding to the nudity.
Oops, I mean to the good parts.
LUV MOMS