Revenge of the Ninja
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Movie Reviews of Revenge of the Ninja
Movie Review: Watch this movie or die trying.
Summary: 5 Stars
Revenge of the Ninja isn't as good as I remember it... When I was younger, I loved it - but this was around the same time I was wearing Bugle Boy parachute pants. What I didn't realize when I was younger though, was how hilarious this movie was. First - the Italian mob boss. His introduction to the viewers happens when he's in a room with a bunch of gangsters, lying on the table with his shirt off and getting a massage ---- by another gangster! In what world do gangsters give massages to other gangsters? It gets better though. In an affront to good taste and with a flip of the middle finger to cinematographers everywhere - the gangster sits up - and his disgusting, saggy man-boobs frame the shot in a silhouette of pure filth. It's an assault on the senses, and it's not hyperbole to describe it as a total apocalypse.
The fight scenes are what this movie is about though, and believe it or not, they're not very realistic. However, that doesn't mean they aren't funny. In fact, I saw something in this movie I can't even believe: in one scene the Italian mob boss dispatches his Native American Indian bodyguard to go and scalp the ninja. Read that last sentence again. A mafia boss has an Indian bodyguard (Indian headband, ponytails, hatchets, all of it) working for him, and orders him to scalp a ninja. Spoiler alert: the title of this film is Revenge of the Ninja.
In another scene, the ninja and his cop buddy go to ask some paroled felons some questions - except the felons are hanging out in a playground and they look like a poor man's version of the Village People. There's a Mexican biker, a blue collar worker with a dirty mustache, a big fat guy with a Mohawk, and a black dude on roller skates (I'm serious.) A fight ensues, and ends with the black dude on roller skates shooting his pistol at the ninja (in a playground), at which point the ninja produces a throwing star from his belt buckle and throws it at the black dude on roller skates' wrist. His wrist is then stuck to the wooden beam of a swing-set. Oh, and then cop and ninja just walk away - and the crowd parts for them. No sirens though. Shots fired at a cop and a ninja in a playground, and then they just walk away, through a crowd that just watched a ninja brawl at a playground. Awesome.
Don't even get me started on the little kid fighting with the girl though. The little kid is like four years old, but this chick actually gets in a karate fight with him... Seriously, she fights him! He's only four years old! Just pick him up and drop him. When the little kid fights the neighborhood bullies - bullies that ride Huffys - well, that's a fight. It's priceless. The final fight scene is tedious and bizarre, but the way the dude squirts blood like 50 feet when he get stabbed in the stomach is awesome. It's like a fire hose of ninja blood. Truly the cherry on top of a sundae. A ninja sundae.
Watch this movie or die trying.
Movie Review: Revenge Of The Ninja
Summary: 5 Stars
Thank you! This product arrived shortly after the order was placed. Revenge Of The Ninja is an American film from 1983. This film is a rare gem. It is one of a kind and a masterpiece in its own right (they don't make them like this anymore). It is not an easy film to watch, it is heart-rending from the opening scenes to its final scenes. This film involves an assasination wipeout of a family, Japanese traditional views on family, great cast of actors( Sho Kosugi and his real-life son Kane Kosugi, Keith Vitali, Arthur Roberts, Virgil Frye, Ashley Ferarrre). Demonstrations of physical stamina(amazingly shot high-speed van getaway with Sho Kosugi surfing on top of it)and marshal arts discipline. The film features an American ninja(played by Arthur Roberts)a sinister character, when in a ninja outfit he's capable of silent, quick and always deadly assasinations of those who cross him. What makes this American ninja intriguing is his shiny silver devil mask he wears as part of his outfit making him a kind of devil incarnate with whom the good Japanese ninja(Sho Kosugi) has to do the final battle. Shot with beautiful views of Utah's mountain ranges looming in the background through out the film and awesome original music by Rob Walsh and directed by Sam Firstenberg this film features many poignant death scenes including that of a police liutenant(played by Keith Vitali). The film ends with the destruction and "demasking" of an evil entity by the pure at heart and reunion of father and son on top of American Towers building. This is an inspiring film that pits the viewer on the side of all that is good and just. Darie Petrovic March 2009 NYC,NYMovie Review: Every Household Should Have This Dvd
Summary: 5 Stars
Ninjas! Ninjas! Ninjas! Ninjas! Ninjas! You want ninjas? Look no further coz this film has ninjas up the wazoo. This was part of a series of films put out by our buddies at Cannon pictures that started a 20 minute ninja craze back in the 80s. I remember that too. Well, you couldn't pick a better selection for late night macheezmo action flick viewing. The plot's not important-some revenge/drug smuggling claptrap. This flick has everything you want from a ninja film: A rear kickin' ninja hero, his cool but not as rear kickin' sidekick, a female villian with a heart of gold, a ninja kid, an old lady ninja(!), a white villian ninja(!!), a moronic mafia godfather(who continues to try and rip off the ninjas even though they keep hacking his family into teriyaki chicken), a native american kung fu thug(who attacks with tomahawks), and an army of bloodthirsty ninjas! Our hero is continuously attacked by groups of assailants(who attack one at a time) who keep coming at him even though he's making coleslaw out of everyone. Some of them are Village People who hang out on a park bench. This film uses all those ninjas gadgets we've come to love: The blow gun, throwing stars, spikes, swords, flamethrowers(?), staffs with fancy junk that shoot out of them, and those curvey axe thingees. This is one of the most entertaining action films I have ever seen. No bull. You don't see anything half this cool in modern Hollywood action films, I'll tell you that. As I'm sure you've read, the dvd is nothing to brag about, but just be thankful that you can at least get this movie again. Buy it. Watch it. Live it.Movie Review: Finally - the ultimate ninja film arrives on DVD
Summary: 5 Stars
Anyone who, like me, grew up watching this film will be celebrating at long last a DVD release, which is well overdue.The best news of all, is that for the first time ever, we are getting the most complete cut of the film to be released. Previous home VHS releases in the USA have had numerous scene cuts and it's even worse in the UK, where whole sections were cut out. However, the restrictions on film violence have changed over the years which means that for this DVD release, everything is in. By that I mean, the shuriken fighting, the face injuries, the nunchakus, even the ridiculous blood spurt at the end - all in.
Whether these improve the film is debatable - but for Sho Kosugi and martial arts fans - at least we are now getting the whole picture.
The DVD features the original trailer - which contains yet more scenes that would never make the final cut - and are forever lost. Although the DVD is light on extras, it does present the film with a very crisp and wonderful newly mastered DVD print - everything looks better than ever before.
It's still silly. But it happens to be the best ninja film ever made, and Sho Kosugi's finest hour. A must-see that goes into the collection with the Bruce Lee epics.
Movie Review: Ninjas never had it so good....
Summary: 5 Stars
My friends and I think this movie is the funniest thing we've ever seen. Sure, it has non-stop ninja action, but everyone has failed to mention it's awful. There's plenty of sex and violence to make it interesting of course, and the acting is quite awful. We thought it was great though. Awful special effects, a plot that made no sense (did he ever get all of those little dolls back?), a bad ninja who wears a hypnotizing mask, three people playing over 50 ninjas, the village people, an indian, and two fat chinese guys. There's also a blonde who never wears clothes and a kid who apparently, is a Dodgers fan. We spent most of the movie inserting our own dialogue and making comments, similar to Mystery Science Theatre 3000, so it makes for a fun movie for a group of friends to sit down and watch together. Our favorite parts were when the kid gets hit by the door (you'll know it) and the awesomely-bad fight scenes. The guys liked the girl who didn't wear pants too, obviously. Will I own this movie? For sure. I suggest you just give in and buy it as well, your kids will thank you for preserving the 80's so well. It's so good, we saw it on Australian Showtime...that's impressive.