Red Zone Cuba (Mystery Science Theater 3000)

Red Zone Cuba (Mystery Science Theater 3000)
by Coleman Francis

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Movie Reviews of Red Zone Cuba (Mystery Science Theater 3000)

Movie Review: One of the finest, funniest episodes. A must have!
Summary: 5 Stars

For those of you unfamiliar with "Mystery Science Theater 3000," (MST3K for short) it is a ninety-minute show featuring a silhouette of a man and two robots in movie theater seats projected in front of a terrible movie. The hosts provide side-splitting, satiric, and culturally-savvy wisecracks to accompany the movie. Each episode also includes sketches and songs and adds up to some of the most hilarious comedy you will ever see.

This DVD offers up episode #619, from late in the show's run on Comedy Central. Mike Nelson had been the host for a full season at this point, and he had really hit his stride with his two robot co-hosts (Tom Servo, voiced by Kevin Murphy, and Crow T. Robot, voiced by Trace Beaulieu). The riffing is razor sharp and wickedly biting, and "Red Zone Cuba" is possibly the best Mike Nelson episode of all time.

This is the second of three movies from director Coleman Francis that MST3K took on. Thanks to his exposure on the show, Mr. Francis has become a bad-movie legend on the level of Ed Wood. But Coleman Francis's flicks make Ed Wood's look like Stanley Kubrick movies by comparison! Coleman Francis was originally a bit-part movie actor, appearing in many Westerns and other b-programmers in the 40s and 50s. He decided to take a crack at movie directing himself, and along with his producer/drinking buddy Anthony Cardoza, crafted three mind-numbingly horrendous yet startlingly bizarre films: "The Skydivers," (available in DVD the collection: "Mystery Science Theater 3000, Vol. 1), this movie, and "The Beast of Yucca Flats" (not on DVD, but it should be some day).

Francis's films have a weird atmosphere: bleakly washed-out gray, packed with scenes of cars approaching, planes landing, people walking, bursts of sound and silence, and plots that are impossible to follow. The acting, from Francis's buddies like Tony Cardoza, is so wooden as to be unbelievable (third grade Christmas pageants have better acting), and the characters are so inexplicably bizarre and the editing so blunt ("I think my neck just got snapped in that jump cut!" Mike screams at one point) that his films seems to take place in another universe. In the hands of the MST3K team, his movies achieve a level of sublime comic entertainment.

"Red Zone Cuba" is Francis's finest (in other words, worst) hour. A runaway convict named Griffin (played by the greasy, obese Mr. Francis himself) joins two drifters, Landis and Cook, somewhere in New Mexico. They fly down to Florida (which looks like New Mexico) to join the Bay of Pigs invasion. It fails because the U.S. only hires eight insurgents and gives them twenty minutes of training in how to jump before unleashing them on Cuba. Imprisoned in Cuba (which looks like New Mexico), Griffin and his buddies stage a daring escape, fly all the way to...New Mexico, I guess...and then stuff a guy down a well, find a mountain of pitch blend, have trouble with a convertible top...

Well look, your guess is as good as mine as to what in the heck is going on in this film. I can't really describe what a wonderful experience this movie is with the MST3K team heckling along. Oh, and did I mention John Carradine pops up in a cameo and actually sings? Because he does! The film eventually drives Mike Nelson insane, and he thinks he's Carol Channing.

As a bonus, the MST3K boys watch a short film before the movie, "Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance," designed to help the salesman of the 50s present a speech effectively by putting his hands on his knees and rotating them. (I'm not kidding.) As with most short films on MST3K, this one is hilarious.

If you are new to MST3K, this is one of the best episodes to start with - it's as funny as they come! If you are fan, this is one of the MUST HAVES of the whole series run. But you already know that, Cherokee Jack!

Summary of Red Zone Cuba (Mystery Science Theater 3000)