One Million Years B.C.
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Movie Reviews of One Million Years B.C.
Movie Review: "Loana Akita Tumak!" - #1 all time guilty pleasure!
Summary: 3 Stars
When I first saw this film in its initial US release
in 1966 (at a drive-in!) I was only seven years old.
Needless to say, for me, it was all about the dinosaurs.
As I came back to the film over the years, via its many
theatrical re-releases, it became about the dinosaurs
and - yes - Raquel Welch in her famous fur bikini.
Since then, it has become about Hammer Films, effects
master Ray Harryhausen, composer Mario Nascimbene,
and several world-class British character actors having
what-appears-to-be the time of their lives covorting
around in fur costumes and barking out unintelligable
dialogue. What is there not to like about this film?
Well, the dvd for starters. Yes, it's the standard
US release version, albeit badly cropped. But having
seen the original uncut British Pathe version, this
one frankly no longer cuts it for me. Nine minutes
of footage was excised by 20th Century Fox for its
US release, much of it involving Harryhausen's work,
not to mention actress Martine Beswick's sexually
provocative cave dance and a gruesome decapitation
among some cannibal ape-men in a watering hole.
That's the version that desperately needs to be
made available in this country. Trust me, if you
adore this film as much as I do (and I must have
seen it one million times) it'll be worth the wait.
Movie Review: If you like older movies?
Summary: 3 Stars
This movie wasn't too bad. It's about a caveman getting cast out of a male dominated, barbaric, black haired clan. Then stumbling onto another gentle (but able to protect themselves), more advanced, blond clan where he finds a woman (Welch) and they fall in love. He evenually gets cast out of that clan he, then, takes Welch and goes back to his own. He finds his brother had tried to kill the leader (their father), made him blind and lame, and has now taken over the clan. Welch goes back to her clan and gets help as there is about to be a battle. When the final battle starts, an earthquake rips up the land killing many from both sides. After all is over, the blond and black haired people join to form one clan. Of course, the love birds get to stay together.
This movie is a classic 60's portrail of how women were in movies. But in this one the women fought back so there wasn't too many damsal in distress scenes. Everyone is cavemen but they also have trimed beards and styled hair, if kind of frizzy. The monsters are lizards made to look gigantic. There is even a huge sea turtle that is supposed to be scary, but... well, falls short of the mark.
I'm the kind of person that can look past the bad effects and take it for the story. I think the story wasn't too bad so I couldn't bring myself to give it a 2 star.
Movie Review: The dialogue is a bit rough but...
Summary: 3 Stars
...You can see the reasons Raquel Welch became a star. The leather bikini probably helped a bit as well.
The film is silly and contains elements that would make any paleoentologist, anthropoligist, gelologist or chronologist cringe but that's not the point is it? The story is about a "caveman" from a tribe of brutal brunettes who is exiled after a conflict with his brother. In his wanderings, he finds a tribe of "more civilized" blondes. Raquel Welch is the one of most interest. His low brow ways are enough to get him kicked out of that tribe as well but Raquel makes a nice consolation prize. They wander about a bit, taking on the native fauna and eventually meet up with his tribe again. Buxom blondes are in short supply there so conflict is inevitable. War breaks out between the two tribes but a fortuitous volcano becomes a better peacekeeper that the guys in blue helmets ever thought about being and the survivors form a "new tribe".
People who enjoy Harryhousen's animation style might enjoy this example of his work. So too will anyone who just wants an opportunity to stare at Raquel's...assets. An uplifting experience, though, it is not. Perhaps the best reason for viewing this movie is just to see the state of the art for 60's science fiction effects with prehistoric monsters.
Movie Review: Surprisingly well done
Summary: 3 Stars
Call it 3 1/2 stars. There was every reason in the world for this movie to turn out to be a stinker, but you know what, it's pretty good. The smartest thing they did with this film is not allowing anyone to talk, and I don't mean that sarcastically, I mean it works. And there is an obvious underlying theme of the development of a human conscience, within certain individuals and groups, that really works surprisingly well. It is understandable that a lot of guys will say this movie is all about a half-naked Raquel and excellent Dino effects,... and that's it. But I would say that there is no way this baby could have held up so well, all this time, with only that going for it. This movie holds up because you care about the characters and their plight. I should add that it is beautifully filmed, a vision of primordial acuity and menace..... I have seen her in 5, maybe 6 other films. I would say that this is easily the best performance I have seen by RW. I thought she really did a great job.... Imagine that,... her finest performance is as a cave-babe,..... and practically all she says is "ah-kee-ta.. ..ah-kee-ta"..... A surprisingly entertaining movie,...... no kidding.
Movie Review: Worth it for the special effects
Summary: 3 Stars
Ok, so the cavemen are relatively clean. And they wear relatively little clothing. And yeah, dinosaurs and humans didn't coexist. But it's a 60's movie and who cares? It's a fun movie just for the special effects.
Those are amazing, considering computers weren't even in use then. I'm still floored by their ability to do some of those specials effects and look pretty convincing, given the time period.
There aren't any real words in this whole film, so in that you may be disappointed. The action is 60's type so there's really little blood. And I wasn't too happy that the violent tribe was made up of brunettes and the non-violent tribe was made up of blondes. That's really "hairist."
I'd watch this movie more for the special effects than for any historical value. There's really not much. But there wasn't supposed to be I don't think.