No Deposit, No Return
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Movie Reviews of No Deposit, No Return
Movie Review: No Deposit, No Return; No Widescreen=No Sale
Summary: 2 Stars
I give up. Disney DVD releases several titles on DVD this week, some in widescreen format with crisp, beautiful new transfers, while dumping others on us in bowdlerized full-screen prints. Unfortunately, the one title I most wanted, 1976's "No Deposit, No Return," belongs to the latter category. As a result, Disney DVD lost a sale. No widescreen = no sale, no matter how much I want the film. Period.For undiscriminating types who don't care if they're ripped-off or not, "No Deposit, No Return" is a typical '70's-era Disney trifle with a great cast of veterans (David Niven, Darren McGavin, Don Knotts, Barbara Feldon, Herschel Bernardi, Charles Martin Smith and Vic Tayback) pulling out all the stops to enliven a mediocre script that, incidentally, contains one of the biggest plot holes I've ever seen in a Disney movie (back to this later). Fortunately, director Norman Tokar (a Disney regular) and the screenwriters throw everything in but the kitchen sink to create a freewheeling comedy that has more than its fair share of laughs. So even though "No Deposit..." pales in comparison to great Disney laugh-fests like "The Love Bug" and "The World's Greatest Athlete," it is still entertaining and will hold the kids' interest for all of its 112 minutes.
How's this for a contrived plot? Jay and Tracy Osborne (Brad Savage and Kim Richards) are poor little rich kids who attend a typically Disneyesque boarding school while their magazine editor mother (Feldon) globe-trots on business. Excited that they will be spending Easter vacation with her, they are crushed when Mom cancels and whisks the pair off (along with their pet skunk (!) Duster) to Los Angeles to spend the week with their despised Grandfather Osborne (Niven), who likes them about as much as they like him (meaning, not at all). At the same time, Duke (McGavin) and Bert (Knotts), a couple of luckless but kindhearted safecrackers, are trying to crack the safe at L.A. International Airport, but botch the job and set off the alarm. Meanwhile, Duster gets loose and causes pandemonium in the airport. In the confusion, Jay, Tracy, Duster, Duke and Bert end up in the same taxi, tailed by Grandfather Osborne in his limo. When Jay and Tracy figure out that Duke and Bert are harmless crooks, they con them into thinking they're homeless and letting them spend the night. The kids then work up a bogus kidnapping scheme and mail a ransom note to Grandfather Osborne (who has his butler keeping an eye on them from across the street) and con Duke and Bert into going along with it, figuring they'll split the money, and Jay and Tracy will go to Hong Kong to join their mother while Duke and Bert pay off the menacing loan shark (Tayback) they're in debt to (which is why they tried cracking the safe in the first place). Whew!
What follows is "Ransom of Red Chief" territory, with Osborne refusing to pay the ransom and the quartet continually dropping the ransom amount. It isn't until someone tips off the local police (represented by Bernardi and his by-the-book rookie partner Smith) that Grandfather Osborne has to start playing the game and making an attempt to get the kids back. What follows is scene-after-scene of typical '70's era Disney slapstick, including the Disney equivalent of the classic "Bullitt" and "French Connection" chase scenes (played for laughs, of course), as the entire cast chases each other around half of L.A. and the entire harbor area in a freewheeling slapstick car chase. Of course, everything ends in predictably warmhearted fashion.
Actually, were it not for the cast, "No Deposit, No Return" would be D.O.A. But Knotts is typically hilarious, McGavin a perfect straight man for Knotts, Bernardi and Smith bicker amusingly and Richards and Savage (straight off their famous roles in "Escape to Witch Mountain" and "The Apple Dumpling Gang") are cute and professional, unlike some of the other cloying non-actor child stars of the era. As for Niven, he is an absolute delight and plays wonderfully off his sophisticated image to get some genuine laughs. Feldon shows up late and scores points as a mother who leaves a little bit to be desired.
As for the production, the opening cartoon-credits sequence and theme music are rather boring compared to the bouncy themes of "The North Avenue Irregulars" and the Kurt Russell college comedies. And, like all other Disney films of the era, it plays like a live-action cartoon in which the reality of the era plays no part whatsoever (Watergate? Vietnam? Jimmy who?) It's basically by-the-numbers stuff, though admittedly entertaining.
As for the plot hole? Okay, here goes: If Grandfather Osborne is a millionaire and doesn't want the kids around, and Jay and Tracy would rather go to Hong Kong than spend time with him, then why not just ask Grandfather Osborne for the money so they can go to Hong Kong and be with their mother? If he doesn't want to be bothered with them, then why would he say no? It's simple: then there would be no movie.
I just don't get it. Lousy titles like "Cat From Outer Space" and "Hot Lead and Cold Feet" get widescreen treatment, while great films like "Darby O'Gill" and "Follow Me Boys" languish in full-screen prints. Even "No Deposit, No Return" deserves better. So, the verdict: "No Deposit, No Return" gets **1/2 while the DVD treatment rates *. As I said before, I give up.
Movie Review: Niven is good, movie drags.
Summary: 2 Stars
MOVIE: No Deposit, No Return is a 1976 Disney movie I looked forward to seeing as a kid after viewing the theatrical trailer. I distinctly remember it showing scenes of the police chase and two police cruisers sideswiping each other. But the movie was ultimately a forgotten by me, probably for good reason. (This theatrical trailer is NOT included on the DVD despite what the packaging says. The DVD includes a TV spot for NDNR from "The Wonderful World of Disney".)
To remember I watched it recently, but was again let down. The movie begins reasonably, but really slows down during two extended scenes. The first is with a ground burrowing skunk (a pet!) climbing to top of a multi-story building chased by kid owner Jay (Brad Savage from The Apple Dumpling Gang) and kidnapper wannabe Bert (Don Knotts). The second is the previously mentioned police chase where little by little and fender by fender the deficient detectives destroy their police car. And the ending of the film, while sweet, doesn't seem to help it out of its rut.
Kim Richards, of Witch Mountain fame, plays the smartest character in the movie, Tracy. She's sister to Jay, both who are sent to their grandfather J. W. Osborne for Easter (?!?) vacation. She plots and schemes, in ways many children would love to do, to avoid him and actually spend the time with their working mother in Hong Kong. This is typical Disney, where children are smarter than the adults and have crazy adventures. The kids ditch grandfather's butler at the airport when they arrive and jump into a waiting taxi. At least they think they do. Grandfather Osborne, played with dignity by David Niven, sees this and follows them to see what's up.
But while the precious pair have been running through the terminal, down-on-their-luck crooks Bert and Duke (Darren McGavin) have bungled an airport safecracking heist. Fleeing, they also leap into the same taxi as the kids, deciding to make a quick exit together. After pleading to stay for the night at the crooks' garage hideout, the kids discover that their new "friends" are in deep with loan shark Big Joe Adamo (Vic Tayback). Tracy then concocts the fake kidnapping by Bert and Duke to pay off Big Joe and buy plane tickets for Jay and her to see Mom in Hong Kong. Thus, the main movie plot is revealed and the ultimately explains its comedic title seeing as how Osborne doesn't feel obligated to pay the ransom, knowing the children's location.
Granted, Tracy could have just asked her grandfather for the money, but the movie makes it clear that they don't like each other enough for her to even ask.
While Jay chases his pet skunk as Duster wanders off again and again, Big Joe keeps applying pressure, and Osborne contentedly rationalizes non-payment, the ransom amount keeps dropping. It's at this point that the film loses it steam, when it should have kept building to the climax. The actors all do a fine job. The plot is amusing and interesting, although highly improbable. However the film loses focus by the overlong antics of Knotts and the skunk on the building's flagpole are followed by Knotts bumbling around on construction girders.
Meanwhile detectives (Herschel Bernardi and Charles Martin Smith) are trying to track down the supposed kidnappers, after Tracy puts the police on the case! This eventually leads to their big drawn out scene of police car brutality, brutal piece by brutal piece. The previews were funnier, probably because they were shorter. In another development, Mom (Barbara Feldon) had arrived at the ransom drop-off point and has jumped into Bert and Duke's convertible. Strangely enough, but not really ironically, she gets lectured on childcare by the kidnappers as they zoom about the docks in the great car chase.
But the movie isn't over yet; Jay and Tracy go to Grandfather's mansion where they accidentally become trapped in his safe. Learning that the kids have gone there, everyone else, except Grandfather Osborne, go there. Then it becomes Bert and Duke's big moment to redeem themselves in front of Mom and police by cracking open the safe. This scene is a little long.
Afterward, everybody is happy and getting along. Formerly dignified J. W. Osborne has now learned how to become a grandpa, even taking a tumble in a fountain. It makes a nice postlude, but it sure happened in a hurry. The story did not really explain this change, but assumes that the preceding traumatic events would change him. How else would it end up in a Disney movie?
DVD: Bad. Not widescreen, so no sale for me. Theatrical trailer is a lie. Bad transfer. Nothing special.
Movie Review: DVD = "Deposit" Very Defective
Summary: 1 Stars
Buyers, beware! The recently released DVD of "No Deposit, No Return" is defective, at least here on the East coast. I exchanged three discs from two different stores of a major media retailer (initials BB) and all three copies had the same glitches in the same scenes. Obviously a manufacturing error. Hopefully an official recall from Disney is forthcoming. Also, I noticed that on some Deposit discs the voice-over varies for the so-called "trailer" (actually just a :30 promo for the film's broadcast airing on The Wonderful World of Disney). On my first disc, the voice was that of the original announcer from the 1970s (very nostalgic). On all subsequent discs, however, the voice was that of the contemporary announcer one hears on all current Disney video promos (not so nostalgic). At least the "Hot Lead and Cold Feet" theatrical trailer included on that disc is the real deal (includes even an accompanying Mr. Toad cartoon). But getting back to "No Deposit", be prepared for glitches when you purchase or rent your disc. I plan to hang on to my Ebay-purchased VHS until enough time has passed that another DVD printing has occurred. Seeing as how neither format is letterboxed or of any admirable picture quality, bailing on the DVD really is no sacrifice. Hey, if you can live with glitches, pay this review no mind. Everyone else: Hang on to that receipt!Movie Review: 4 1/2 star Movie but a 1 Star DVD!
Summary: 1 Stars
I like Kim Richards, she is really very pretty and is a a very good actress and I wish I had hair like hers!
No Deposit No Returns is a good movie and I've been waiting for so long for it to come to DVD but now that it has come to DVD I'm mad that the transfer is stinky and it is only fullframe and not widescreen.
Does Disney hate widescreen or something?
FYI: Kim Richards in real life is the aunt of Paris and Nicky Hilton. Their mother Kathy is Kim's sister.