My Bloody Valentine
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Movie Reviews of My Bloody Valentine
Movie Review: Great '80's Slasher Flick
Summary: 4 Stars
I won't give the plot away, just to say unlike so many of today's so-called horror films, this movie does contain a plot which isn't too far fetched. Some good scares and suspense here definitely.Movie Review: Lovin' 80's B Movies
Summary: 4 Stars
Hey man, the band My Bloody Valentine, loved this movie enough to name themselves after it. That should be enough.Movie Review: Restore the Cuts!
Summary: 3 Stars
Remember those heady days in the late 1970s and early 1980s when films like "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" attained stellar success at the box office, resulting in a slew of holiday themed copycats? Movies like "April Fool's Day," "My Bloody Valentine," and "Graduation Day" arrived on the scene and dropped off the radar just as rapidly. Thanks to the appearance of DVD players, these films are reappearing with a disturbing rapidity. Unfortunately, the movies aren't much better than they were when they first came out. This is especially true for Paramount's release of the 1981 slasher film "My Bloody Valentine." At the time, Paramount demanded a mountain of cuts from director George Mihalka in order to avoid a dreaded 'X' rating for graphic violence. That's acceptable for a theatrical release, but a DVD version should reinsert all of the gory footage. Well, this release is the boring old 'R' rated version, and to make matters worse Paramount technicians included nothing else with the movie: no stills, no commentaries, no behind the scenes stuff, and no trailers. Get with the program, Paramount! The customer who will buy this movie on DVD is a genre fan; they want to see all of those gory killings you lopped off with indifference."My Bloody Valentine" takes place in a little mining town called Valentine Bluffs. We don't really know the location of the town, but the accents of the some of the characters hint at a Canadian setting somewhere near Quebec. Some years before a terrible mining accident resulting in the deaths of several miners caused Harry Warden to snap. Warden went on a killing spree through the town on the night of the Valentine's Day dance. Ever since then, the authorities in Valentine Bluffs banned parties on Valentine's Day, ever mindful of Harry Warden's threat to wreak bloody havoc on the town if they held another dance. Harry Warden, for the record, was one of the survivors of the mining accident, an accident caused by negligence on the part of two of the supervisors. After his murderous spree, Warden ended up in an insane asylum and the town slowly forgot his grim threats.
Now it's the present (or at least 1981), and the mineworkers want to have another holiday party. The authorities, which include a neurotic mayor and a police chief who looks like Steve McQueen from a distance, are willing to go along with the idea of a celebration. Then the valentines start showing up, one of which contains a bloody human heart. The mayor and police chief initially try to keep the threat hush-hush, but a few more murders persuade them to cancel the dance. The young people in town throw a fit, deciding that they will still have a party but hold it at the mine instead. You can guess what happens from this point on: bodies drop like flies as a madman in mining gear (gas mask, helmet, black clothing, and pickax) works his way through the group of bubbleheads. As the chief desperately attempts to track down the whereabouts of Harry Warden, a group of especially idiotic partygoers head down into the mine for a few yucks. The last twenty minutes of the film take place in the darkly atmospheric mine, as the killer picks off several of the kids in the quarry. There's a twist ending that achieves only a moderate level of interest, and then the whole thing ends.
"My Bloody Valentine" is a major rip off of other slasher films. This movie even has its own version of "Crazy Ralph" from "Friday the 13th" in the form of a testy bar owner who continually spouts stories about Harry Warden and the foolishness of throwing another party. You just know this guy is going to get his, and he does, but I kept wondering how he got any business. Who wants to go to a place where the proprietor keeps talking about gruesome murders? The other characters fall into typical slasher movie typecasting as well: the two guys fighting over the girl, the ineffective police chief and mayor who try to ignore the warning signs until it's too late, and the omnipresent killer. When it comes to original and engaging characters, "My Bloody Valentine" doesn't offer much except stereotypes with bad haircuts. Horror movie buffs should take note of Ray Sager's name (as first assistant director) in the credits: Sager played Montag the Magnificent in H.G. Lewis's "The Wizard of Gore."
At first, the gore seems to promise that "My Bloody Valentine" is a step above your typical slasher film. The heart in the box is gruesome, but after that initial shocker the movie steps back into rather banal exercises in the sauce department. The heavy handed editing is to blame here, as nearly every murder that takes place either happens completely off camera (the idea of it!), or cuts away before the serious bloodletting starts. There are places where you can discover what Paramount removed to get that all-important 'R' rating, and it's obvious that this film would have been much better if we could have seen the full effect of the killer's actions. A boiled face, a hook through the head, and a body in a laundromat dryer sound great on paper, but the execution suffers horribly because we never get the full, grotesque effect. It's the equivalent of watching a Richard Pryor concert with all of the profanity bleeped out. I pray Paramount comes to their senses and finally releases this film, along with the first eight "Friday the 13th" movies, in uncut formats. "My Bloody Valentine," as it stands now, falls squarely into the "rent, not buy" category: an interesting film with great promise, but an ultimate failure due to circumstances beyond the control of the cast and crew.
Movie Review: No Miners Allowed
Summary: 3 Stars
Okay, the title was an easy joke. It can't be the first time that was said, and it will no doubt be the last time either. But like the unsurprising title of my review, the movie is pretty much the same. No real surprises, and it's pretty much expected all the way through. The Independent Film Channel recently had an "80's Slasher Flashback" marathon this past weekend, and I thought it would be a lot of fun to see these never seen 80's slasher films that I never saw or saw when I was so young that I don't remember them. I have memories of seeing the killer miner, but that's where it ends. Seeing this movie for the "real" first time, I was pleasantly entertained. Make no mistake that this is still a middle of the road, 80's slasher film with the usual flaws and genre cliches, but that isn't always a bad thing. Why isn't it a bad thing here?. Well, we'll get to that in a minute. First, the movie. The small mining town of Valentine's Bluff is gearing up for a big Valentine's Day dance. Woo-hoo!. These small town folk, well, they have very little else to celebrate I guess!. Anyways, it's the first time they have done this in twenty years. Needless to say, this is the first in 20 years because of something very bad that happened in the small town. There was a mine explosion back then and it killed a number of the miners. One of the miners who survived, Harry Warden, snapped and went on a killing spree and killed two of the mine's supervisors. He was caught and sent away. The town now feels ready to get in on the festivities again. This introduces a new batch of fodder, er, I mean miners, who are referred to by others as "kids". Yeah, their kids. Sure. But as soon as the foofy decorations go up, people start dying and real hearts turn up. The dance is called off and local authorities believe that Warden has returned to town to decorate the place red yet again. Disappointed, the adult..er, kids, decide to hold their own party at the mine. Guess who wants to ruin it?. As I said before, the movie is riddled with cliches. Halloween, Christmas, and Friday The 13th were all taken, so it's only natural that Valentine's Day be next. The movie takes a number of it's scenes and plot moments from "Halloween". You can tell that that classic is the main film they try to immitate here. The back story and the killer has returned home, the sheriff on the case, etc. But while the movie could of been a really bad rip off(and some, with some credit, probably think it is), it turns out a tad bit better than I expected. As far as simple, fun 80's slasher films go, this one is pretty enjoyable. The main point the film has in the plus column is it's location, scenery, and direction. The town is named, but it's in an unnamed part of the world. Actually, some people say it was filmed in Newfoundland, while others say it was Nova Scotia. Well, it looks good and sets up a nice aura to the proceedings. The scenery works well, and the movie benefits from it. The direction of the film, and the execution of many scenes, were done quite well. Then again, after coming off seeing "Slumber Party Massacre", anything would seem superior. But the look of the film really is good, and the writer and director have a pretty decent idea of how to set everything up and film it. There are a number of cool and clever moments and set ups that are pretty good for a suspenseful stalking. Some better ideas than a huge chunk of it's 80's slasher superiors. The acting is nothing special. A number of the actors seem to be in their mid to late 20's, but that seems to be the way it goes a lot of the time. The dialogue is not always great, but it is not too bad in a number of places. It delves into 'cheesy' territory now and then, but I will allow it. The romance soap opera part of the story is pretty hollow and I doubt anyone will care one way or the other about it. The ending is no big surprise, and it's kind of a disappointment. In the end, "My Bloody Valentine" is pretty good for the 80's slasher genre. Better than a lot of the other kinds of films like this at the time. The only surprising thing about this movie is that there wasn't a sequel. My Bloody Valentine 2?. Pretty much writes itself.Movie Review: 3.25 STARS: "Roses are red, violets are blue, one is dead and so are you!"-The Killer
Summary: 3 Stars
The movie "My Bloody Valentine" is a solid 80s slasher flick and certainly a product of the greatest of holiday horror movies known as "Halloween". This movie has been dumped on pretty good, but all in all, this flick does have some merit. In fact, I would argue that this film is the greatest Valentine's Day movie of all-time. If you are an avid slasher flick fan like me, you should definitely pick this one up.
The movie's plot centers around a group of mine workers in a small town. A legend about a pick axe wielding Harry Warden has kept this little town from having a Valentine's Day dance for 20 years, but the town decides it is time to put the past in the past. However, it becomes apparent that someone does not want the dance to take place and he don't mind showing it. His signature is to wrap bloody human hearts in a heart shaped Valentine's Day candy box...not bad! This movie is not without suspense as the killer's identity is somewhat unknown until the end of the movie. However, the audience is able to narrow it down to three people: the mysterious Harry Warden, Axle or T.J., the little town's prodigal son who returns to reclaim his ex-girlfriend.
Nevertheless, the local 20 something year old's are determined to have a Valentine's Day party even if they can't have a dance and people start getting killed by a man in a miner's suit. He is exceptionally cruel with some of his killings. This is a typical 80s slasher flick that became prevalent after Halloween and aside from Halloween I and II, this might be the best of the "holiday" slasher flicks. Certainly "My Bloody Valentine" is considerably better than "Silent Night Deadly Night" and "April Fool's Day".
I must admit that the acting in this film is rather poor, but what 80s slasher flick does have good acting? The love story theme in this movie is very lame as well, but the killing scenes are pretty good. Moreover, there is an unmistakably 80s slasher feel to this movie which I love along with a nice creepy atmosphere generated by the brutal Canadian winter and the coal mine of which some of this movie takes place. This use of setting and the easily recognizable 80s slasher atmosphere make this holiday slasher one of the finest of its kind. While not a classic by any means, I still recommend this film to die-hard horror movie fans like myself. I own this DVD and watch it occasionally. It's really good around Valentine's Day. A little over THREE STARS for this horror flick which might be a little more than this slasher flick deserves, but it has that 80s classic slasher flick feel to it, and I guess it has a soft spot in my heart because of that! You should have a great time around Valentine's Day with this slasher. However, it would be nice if they would re-release this DVD uncut in its original form.