Mr. Rice's Secret
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Movie Reviews of Mr. Rice's Secret
Movie Review: DVD
Summary: 4 Stars
The DVD arrived quickly and in great condition . The only drawback was the shipping price .Movie Review: Bowie is the only real star here, has good message for kids.
Summary: 2 Stars
So your search for anything Bowie has finally led you here. The story seems like a resurrected after school special with silly adventures and dialogue that just doesn't exist for kids. But then David (Mr. Rice) starts speaking... and things don't seem so bad. Uh, then again. A 400 year old man you would think wouldn't require kids to let's say, exhume a corpse! There is a message to the movie, very predictable, but this movie doesn't get past it's simpleton plot. And for you diehard Bowie fans, you'll love how he and his voice take over.Movie Review: Christian Propaganda
Summary: 1 Stars
** SPOILER ALERT **
This movie reminds me of an old joke. A guy tells his friend, "My dog just wrote a mystery novel."
"What? How does a dog write a mystery novel?"
"He starts with the ending and works backwards."
That seems to be how all "Christian message" movies are written. First, write a list of all the "good" Jesus stuff: sacrifice, life after death, etc. Leave out the "bad" Jesus stuff: pick the wrong god and go to hell.
Next, outline some of the tritest character types ever used in family stories: the Standard Adolescent Male; the threatening dad who never quite beats his child on-screen; the brainless "what he said" eye candy mom; the chicken friend; the bully friend alpha male trouble maker; the worse bully; the dog.
David Bowie is the dog. He's also a middle aged neighbor who rakes leaves a lot. He's also Jesus. The kid, Owen, goes to this guy for comforts which are never clearly specified. It must be something good, because the big bribe is a magic decoder ring. Clunky flashbacks show that Owen was bald, therefore very sick. Mr. Rice assures him, "You are very special, Owen." Instead of running away, Owen watches Rice install a cool birdhouse. (If you want to know what metaphor the cool birdhouse represents, you will have to have to attend an "Understanding `Mr. Rice's Secret'" seminar in a church somewhere.)
Owen gets better. There are vague suggestions that a hospital is involved.
Rice dies, for no apparent reason. Owen, the teenager, is compelled to sneak into the funeral and videotape it, for no apparent reason. His bully friend forces the gang to break into Rice's house, for no apparent reason. Owen finds a Very Special Book of clues written by Mr. Rice. It addresses Owen directly! Oh, joy! Mr. Rice speaks to Owen from beyond the grave!
The Very Special Book starts Owen on a Harry Potter-esque, dark-of-night treasure hunt which involves the decoder ring and grave robbing. That's right, grave robbing. (The working title was "Exhuming Mr. Rice" - I kid you not - which they were too lazy to erase from the end titles.) In the casket, with the dead guy Rice, Owen finds a key. An actual key, a slap-you-in-the-back-of-the-head, undisguised metaphor. The key opens the birdhouse. (Be sure and tell me all about that seminar). Ooh, goody, more of those creepy "Hi, Owen" notes read by flashlight. One more treasure map and, ta-daah! Owen unearths a Very Special box containing a big test tube full of green glowing liquid. Several empty tubes and another beyond-the-grave note explain that Rice has used this Elixir of Life to live for centuries. But - oh, bless his heart - Rice bequeaths the last magic test tube to Owen.
And then - oh, bless his heart - Owen sneaks into a hospital and pours it down the gullet of an estranged leukemia friend who is much sicker. The kid is UNCONCIOUS. There is no consent form, no adult supervision. Just a lot of Bravery Moment music.
Now Owen is ecstatic, climbing to the precarious peak of his second story roof and screaming, "Now I have a life worth losing!" His parents are only mildly alarmed by this, since the boy's new philosophy is so compelling.
This is the kind of GET IT? story telling that only makes sense if you are already familiar with Christian dogma. Otherwise you might assume the filmmakers were part of some creepy death cult. Well, guess what? They are part of some creepy death cult: Christianity. These are the standard, gruesome themes of life-via-death and a dependence on someone else's blood sacrifice. I have no use whatsoever for this morbid view of life. These "Christian Values" are simply repugnant to me.
Any kid who is force-fed this tripe, as an appetizer to a seven course bible meal, needs to notice one important element of this story, one which is neatly hidden from view. Owen's life has already been saved: by science. He had leukemia, received the best treatments that medical research could offer, and got better. He wasn't saved by a magic potion or a magic theology.
But in the minds of the hacks who produce such propaganda, science doesn't matter much. They show just enough of the hospital to assure you that it is trivial compared to the death cult stuff. Medical science is all about extending life, and that's not nearly as much fun as glamorizing death.
Telling children that death equals life - in a bible or in a movie - is just plain sick.
Movie Review: Unusable DVD
Summary: 1 Stars
I am unable to view Mr. Rice's Dream ... it shows DVD/R on the screen only. I do not want to return this item as it would mean another shipping cost. The lesson learned is to buy DVDs from a store where it is much easier to make a return.
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