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Movie Reviews of MosquitoMovie Review: I've got an itching to tell you... Summary: 5 Stars
I'm surprised that it's taken me this long to write a review on this film. Not only have I seen it more than a dozen times on USA and the SCI-FI channel, but I actually own two copies, have an autographed VHS cover AND an autographed theatrical poster (which happens to be nicely framed and hung on my bedroom wall). So, you, the reader, are probably scratching your heads wondering why I would be so dedicated to this film. Well, I guess it all goes back to when I was working for the DNR here in Michigan, and after reading a blurb about the local, low-budget film "Blood Fever" being shot in a neighboring campground, I just had to request a couple days off to be an extra. How can you not be excited about being an extra in a low-budget horror film which features six-foot tall mosquitos, ESPECIALLY when you happen to have to deal with their miniature cousins every year because you live in a swampy area? So, I showed up at 7 a.m. for the first day and had a great experience watching Director Gary Jones work his magic on the set, which seemed like it was my own backyard, seen as it was only a five-minute drive from where I lived. I couldn't help but be entranced by a model of the 'bloodsucker' which hung from a pole setting in front of one of the camps cabins. Everyone crowded around it, snapping shots, and wondering to themselves if it happened to be the little bugger who snuck a snack from their back leg while enjoying a picnic the night before. The cast was fun to hang out with, even though I didn't have a chance to meet Gunnar Hansen until he showed up for an autograph session for the film when it hit video stores, (which was even more special to me, since I helped set up the session and I actually got to sign my own autographs, while sitting several chairs down from the reputable actor who exuded a kindness one would actually want to question if he were the same man who wielded the buzzing chainsaw which cut through teens years before). Ron Asheton, Rachelle Loiselle and Tim Lovelace were all present, though, and they had no problem sharing smiles and hotdogs during the lunch break. So, sure, the movie may have it's cheesiness. It may be a far cry from the horror film one would expect a guy like Gunnar Hansen to pop up in, but, all in all, it was a great experience and is always an enjoyable film to watch when it's on t.v. or I just want to reminisce and pull out my own copy. So, they say you'll always remember your first love and cherish it. I guess I can say the same for this film. I'll always remember the fun I had and the friends I met. It's been over ten years since it actually lensed, and I've done over a dozen other films which have their own special place in my heart. But, "Mosquito" was my first, and was the introduction to my present career as a film-maker here in Michigan.
Movie Review: Blast from my past. Summary: 5 Stars
This was a movie I used to watch every time I saw it on T.V. when I was a kid, of about 12 or 13. I enjoyed it, as it was probably the first horror movie I watched that was COMPLETELY UNFRIGHTENING TO ME. I was a notorious wuss when it came to horror films, and that's what my friends were into. So, I was always having nightmares. However, this was a movie I could watch that wasn't scary at all! And still look cool to my friends. This sloppily put together, cheap looking movie also helped fuel my love affair for awful horror movies. So for that, it has immense sentimental value. For that alone, it gets 5 stars.
But I must balance this rating with the fact that this isn't a good movie. It's awful! It's not really very watchable, for the most part. I'm watching it on T.V. as I write this, and it gives me a warm feeling inside, but I'm not exactly "loving" it. My girlfriend is doing homework rather than watch it! On a realistic scale, the movie gets 2 stars.
However, for two truly bizarre people staring in it, it gains an extra star. Though it might not mean a lot to people to some people, the fat, whiny park Ranger Parks (groan) is actually the GUITARIST FOR INFAMOUS PROTO PUNK BAND THE STOOGES!!!!! This might not mean a lot of people, but it's a truly mind bogglingly strange thing for me to deal with, ten years after the fact. This man could make the claim, quite legitimately, that he created punk rock. And here he is, running away from mosquito's and mincing his way through a role he has no right staring in; he even WROTE A SONG FOR THE SOUNDTRACK. For rock fans, this gives the movie an extra star.
However, for horror movie fans, an even odder casting was the choice of Gunner Hansen as the big fat redneck. Though this name won't ring bells to many people, this is the man who was Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Here is a man who could lay claim, quite legitmately, to starting the "slasher" horror film fad. Seeing him here is surreal; I keep expecting him to grunt and stick his toungue out. At the end, he even wields a chainsaw, saying "I haven't used one of these in 20 years." Heh, heh. This is worth an extra star for horror film fans.
So, for most people this movie is a two star deal. For rock or horror, it's three stars affair. For rock AND horror fans it's four stars. But for ME seeing as it has the "sentimental" value, it gets five stars. I will buy this on DVD as soon as I can find it.
Movie Review: King of the creature feature. You're the King out there Mosquito! Summary: 5 Stars
Two years after the incomparable Death Ring was released and witnessed by the Sid brothers a different sort of gem was brought to the table. This masterpiece is know simply as Mosquito and is essential to any true b lover's horror collection. Naturally this is yet another example of why the 90's was our favorite time period for b of all genres. It just seems this era in our lives had everything going perfect especially when it came to the horribly hilarious movies. The typical young Sid weekend was filled with good buddies, good food, and great B like our feature of the week Mosquito.
In case you couldn't sum up what this one would be about we have taken the liberty to inform you of it's superior plot. In an area dense with hillbillies an alien craft crashes in the middle of the woods. After the crash some of the local mosquitos feed on the dead aliens turning them into giant man-eating creatures. From here we're introduced to an exceptionally bad cast that will keep you captivated for the next 90 minutes with ease. You'll meet Hendricks the park ranger, Parks the black Meteor chaser, Earl the bank robber-portly yes..but smart as a whip, Ray the main character, and Megan his way below sub-par girlfriend as they embark on a survival mission against the over sized mosquitos. We don't want to give any further details away because this one MUST be viewed by anyone who loves the art of unintentional comedies.
By this portion of the review you can obviously tell we give this one the full and absolute seal of approval promising the best viewing outcome. Our only gripe is that we waiting this long to revisit this classic. We've seen it at least 3 times prior to this viewing and always let it stay in our back pocket until now. There was really no better way to close out our weekly Thursday B shenanigans. It had everything we needed bringing lots of laughs, memories, and plenty of sentimental value. Despite a decline in the weekly b department, we've made it a future mission to view Legion of the Night which was released a year past Mosquito starring Ray and Park who both play bums. When you hand us that line up along with a plot consisting of mafia killing zombies we have no choice but to move forward.
Movie Review: Tapping the Human Keg! Summary: 5 Stars
When taking time to taste the wonders and woes of a nice campground experience, nothing is worse than those run-ins with Mosquitos. While trying to have fun, those little monsters assail you and yours, taking little sips whenever they feel like it simply because they're trying to do what they can to stay alive. Blah. When put on tap a few dozen times, itching and wondering why you took a trip to the middle of nowhere, you find yourself wondering how things could get any worse. To answer, imagine a night spent watching the sky and seeing falling stars. Now try having one of those lovely comets turn out to be that UFO experience you've always wondered about, the driver of that vehicle get killed when that UFO turns out to be out-of-control, and then some mosquitos find the body and feed. Yeah, things get really big and really ugly from there.When dealing with this film, one shouldn't make a mistake and think that they're dealing with something that isn't going to be cheesy. Big Bug movies always turn out that way, always having some strange sideplot to go along with the main flow of monstrosity, and the doom they offer is always campy. So, instead of going in expecting anything, you should think of your atypical bad acting, death, some gore effects to take the place of a plot, and a nice laughtrack to make the day go along better. And, if that sounds good, then Mosquito would be a tale for you. Personally, the "who is going to live, who is going to die" tales always make me happy and I've always loved Mosquito. Within its brand of sordid humor, nobody is truly safe from the touch and the feel of the threat, with most of the people met along the way succumbing to the alluring beasts and their thirst. Its comedy, only nobody gets to stand up in the end and tell jokes (unless you count Gunnar Hansen - The original Leatherface). And that's what I like about it, truth be told. Every movie and social stereotype mastered by the mosquito.
Movie Review: BAD MOVIE LOVER HEAVEN!! Summary: 5 Stars
"My God! It looks like a proboscis!" One of the many great lines in this hilariously badly written, badly acted, cheesily photographed little gem of a film. You're in for a treat when you realize that the action is funnier than the comic relief. The scientists and much of the plot is lifted right from "Food of the Gods;" the climax is reminiscent of "Night of the Living Dead" or "The Birds;" and the dialogue is delivered with all the emotion of the funeral attendees from "Plan Nine From Outer Space." You gotta see it to believe it!
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