Mesa of Lost Women
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Movie Reviews of Mesa of Lost Women
Movie Review: Just because they're lost doesn't mean they're worth finding
Summary: 2 Stars
When I happened upon this movie, a couple of things caught my eye: it features Jackie Coogan (who would go on to play Uncle Fester in The Addams Family) and there are some huge tarantulas involved. How bad could it be? The answer is very bad indeed. Here's a basic rundown of the plot. Dr. Arana (Coogan) has a secret lab on Zarpa Mesa in the Mexican desert, where he is performing growth experiments on humans and animals. What he has produced are some great big tarantulas and a cadre of mute, seemingly fierce women and several male dwarfs. He invites the reputable Dr. Masterson to aid him in his work, but Masterson refuses, is driven insane, and winds up in an institution. He escapes just in time to kidnap a man and his fiancé, a servant name Wu, and a handler from the mental institution. He commandeers the rich man's plane and forces the pilot to take them up despite a failing left engine. They crash on this big mesa out in the desert, where they eventually get an unwelcome introduction to Dr. Arana and his minions. I learned more about this movie from reading a two-sentence synopsis than I did actually watching the thing. All of the women are apparently mute, and Arana somehow communicates with them telepathically. The whole notion of spider-women seems to fade away as the movie progresses, being supplanted by the huge tarantula concept. Apparently, though, Arana plans to use his creations to take over the world in some kind of typical mad scientist manner. I couldn't find a single likable character in this movie. We don't even see enough of Arana to understand what he is actually up to, and the other characters are all hopelessly bland.
The only thing interesting about this movie consists of the rumors swirling around its origin. Some people have tried to claim Mesa of Lost Women as a secret Ed Wood movie; these rumors have been put to rest by now, but there is definitely an Ed Wood feel to the story. According to the son of Herbert Tevos, his father made but did not finish a film for Howco Productions called Tarantula, and some time later Howco Production asked Ron Ormond to complete the movie, which he did by adding Dr. Arana, the spider-women, and a few other touches, thus producing Mesa of Lost Women. What is undoubtedly true is that the film is presented in a peculiar fashion. A rather flippant narrator opens and closes the story for us, sometimes actually speaking to one of the characters, and in between we learn the tale told by two exhausted humans picked up in the middle of the desert. The guy telling the story first flashes back to Dr. Masterson's first encounter with Arana, which is something he could not possibly know anything about; only then does he choose to flash back to the events he himself was a witness to. It is amazing to see how a simple story can be made incredibly complex at the hands of bad moviemakers.
Movie Review: Giant Tarantula Puppets And Unceasing Flamenco Guitar
Summary: 2 Stars
This movie is relentless. I am a huge fan of grade-Z cinema, but this is sub-Ed Wood in quality (in fact many of the people involved in bringing this travesty to life were friends and associates of Wood), and commits the unforgivable bad movie sin of being boring.
As you might expect, the plot is a bit difficult to follow in places, but essentially deals with Jackie Coogan as the evil Dr. Arana (also spelled Aranya in some versions), which, cleverly, is Spanish for "spider." Given that piece of foreshadowing it's pretty much inevitable that he will create huge, chemically mutated leaping spiders, dancing spider women, as well as a bunch of dwarf men in accordance with his understanding of the arachnid world. There are subplots about a plane crash, murder, and romance, but honestly, the whole thing is so tepid that I just ended up screaming "End!" at the television for the last twenty minutes of the film or so. The dancing scenes are particularly un-erotic, despite the reaction shots of the men in the audience, while the portrayal of "Pepe," the standard-issue cartoonishly superstitious Mexican national definitely dates this turkey.
I was feeling generous and gave this film two stars on the basis of the hilarious spider puppets and the endless droning flamenco guitar soundtrack, which is ever present and wildly inappropriate. Don't get me wrong, the soundtrack is awful, it just gets a bonus star for the comic juxtaposition against otherwise odorous background action. The "double narration" technique is also quite annoying, as there are several places where there is not one, but two narrators explaining what's going on. On balance, though, it's good that someone is explaining it, or I might have to watch it again to try and figure it out for myself.
This one is for Jackie Coogan completists (if there is such a thing) only. As an alternative, you can give it as a gift to someone you want to subtly torture while remaining within Geneva Convention guidelines.
Movie Review: A Rodger Corman want-a-be
Summary: 2 Stars
Two people are found wandering in the desert. They are brought back to a local clinic where upon recovering from sun stroke the man wants to immediately burn "it." "Burn what?" you say. Well He slows down to tell the tale of a Doctor on a remote mesa that is a little ahead of his time working with you guessed it Lost Women and things best left to nature. We are now in for a 70 minute flash back.
With great actors as Jackie Coogan (you can tell he must be the bad guy with a huge mole on his face), Allan Nixon, Tandra Quinn and Delores Fuller, You know it can not go wrong. Yeah, sure.
The dialog gets a little boring and some of the screen play (by Herbert Tevos) is a little disoriented. I suspect that much was cut out for brevity; so we must make great leaps and assume we just missed something.
There is a great dance scene by Tarantella (Tandra Quinn) that would subdue Captain Kirk had he been there.
Do not worry though we have wonderful background music by Hoyt Curtin that consists of an off key flamingo guitar and a spinet that won't spin; I think they are trying to sound Spanish; you get to hear it during the beginning credits; You get to hear it during the narration (by Lyle Talbot); you get to hear it every time a suspenseful scene appears; You get to hear it every time one does not; you still hear it when the DVD is safely packed away.
Movie Review: One star for the DVD quality from Image..this movie is as bad as Manos
Summary: 1 Stars
Once upon a time I thought Manos the Hands of Fate was the worst film ever made. Recently I decided to get this because it sounded interesting and had a giant spider.
Well this gives Manos a run for its money as far as being atrocious
Why
1- The Spider isnt on screen enough
2- The *acting* was just terrible
3- the music was irritating ..extremely irritating
This lacked any decent characters and was a complete dud. Jackie Coogan (yes he was Uncle Fester in the Adams Family) probably disowned this movie a long time ago. He is conducting experiments with females with the soul of a Spider injected into them
This is for those that like complete total Z grade schlock.If you are someone who likes Z movies, totally inept movies like Manos, Dungeon of Harrow, you might like it.
The image DVD is the one to get because they take the time to clean up (as best as they could) the transfer. So while the print was clear the movie wasnt
Watch for the dancing girl who does 'the spider'..
Bad movie, even by my standards..
Movie Review: It Really Didn't Take Much
Summary: 1 Stars
It really didn't take much to entertain me when I was a kid. I even liked Godzilla movies. When Ed Wood films turned up in the pages of Famous Monsters of Filmland, I took them seriously.
But I also remember MESA OF LOST WOMEN, a movie so bad that my eyes were actually opened to just how horrible some movies could be. And that I might be wasting my time--even watching Chiller Theatre.
It's not that this movie got me to grow up, but I definitely wanted to see something good afterward....
(The shame is that there are still so many good--and great--movies that you can't find on DVD!)