Malibu Express
by Andy Sidaris
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Art Metrano, Brett Baxter Clark, Darby Hinton, Shelley Taylor Morgan, Sybil DanningDirector: Andy Sidaris
Cinematographer: Howard Wexler
Producer: Andy Sidaris
Writer: Andy Sidaris
Editor: Craig Stewart
Producer: Anatoly Arutunoff
Producer: Bill Pryor
Producer: Bob Perkis
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language)
Format: Color, DVD, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 105 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2002-10-29
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Studio: Malibu Bay Films
Movie Reviews of Malibu Express
Movie Review: "Would I Help A Woman In Distress?"
Summary: 5 Stars
MALIBU EXPRESS, an early (1985) Andy Sidaris film was a mainstay of the old "Action Plus" cable TV network of the era which featured softcore nudity and car chases (usually in that order). MALIBU EXPRESS delivers on all counts.
Unlike Sidaris' later "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" work, MALIBU EXPRESS features a male lead, Darby Hinton, as Private Investigator Cody Abilene. Cody lives aboard a houseboat named "Malibu Express" and has cleverly disguised it as a train by building a freestanding door painted as a caboose on the dock where the boat is moored.
This "secret door" isn't much help, as an assortment of busty, lusty women seem to find their way onto the boat at all hours. Cody is forever working the button on his Levis.
And it's a good thing, too, because when it comes to working with firearms, Cody couldn't hit a supertanker with a bazooka shot. Although armed with a .44 automag in a cow-patterned gun case (shades of Dirty Harry) and resembling a blond version of Tom Selleck (a nod to Magnum PI), Cody is charmingly inept with anything involving inorganic moving parts. The women around him act as a kind of human shield most of the time, so Cody doesn't really suffer.
The plot (such as it is) involves Cody's investigation of a Beverly Hills clan whose individual members seem to do little more than sleep with the domestic help, cross-dress, and shout orders through a bullhorn. It seems that somebody in this family of the idle-brained rich is also selling desktop PCs to the Soviet Union (for those of you too young to remember, that was a no-no back then).
Cody is helped in his assignment by the ubiquitous Queen "B", Sybil Danning (the best actor in the picture by far, which tells you something), and by his friend, race car driver June Khnockers (Playmate Lynda Weismeier) who has the best time of anybody in the film just flashing her ample, unenhanced chest at anyone who cares to look.
Besides the heavies (Matthew, Mark and Luke) played by a succession of Mr. Universes, Cody is also pitted against the Buffingtons (think of Hee-Haw's Junior Samples minus the urbane veneer) who are constantly challenging him to drag races. Cody predictably loses each one (even driving his red DeLorean)against a succession of pickup trucks, Studebakers, and skateboards, until he inherits his father's rocket powered Olds Firenza hatchback (as a former Firenza owner I'll tell you those things had pick up).
As a low-budget laugh-a-minute movie, MALIBU EXPRESS is top-quality entertainment. Although short on "Bombs" (not one helicopter blows up), MALIBU EXPRESS introduces us to all the ongoing themes of the Sidaris canon (men named Abilene who chase Playmates). What more could anyone want?
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