Lancelot of the Lake
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Movie Reviews of Lancelot of the Lake
Movie Review: French rubbish
Summary: 1 Stars
Anyone who can call this piece of Fench rubbish a 'masterpiece' is obviously caught up in that delusional mindset of Art moives having to be stripped of everything to make them powerful; therefore it must be a masterpiece is a myth; so much so there's nothing left but a depressing mess. The actors say or do nothing more than clump around in their shiny armour which they never seem to take off, all the time brooding woodenly, and talking to each other like robots, stripped of emotion. The soundtrack is appalling; all through the movie the sound intrudes with the nonstop clancking of armour and a single horse neighing over and over and over again in the background, the same horse, the same neighs. The jousting scene is so boring and repetitious you fall into a mind-numbed trance and you wonder how any director could make such a scene so DULL - and like the neighing horse in the background, it's played over and over again until you feel like screaming, "Get on with it!" like that brilliant scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (a far better movie; buy that one instead).
How this film can be seen as a masterpiece can only be described as self-delusion; or is it just because it's French and therefore must be a masterpiece? Lancelot of the Lake is a borish waste of a story that is in essense powerful and passionate and full of human struggles; there's no passion in this - Let's not go to this Camelot; tis a silly place...
Movie Review: Bad folks..really really humorously bad
Summary: 1 Stars
Ok- listen..I realize there are people out there who. on the strength of a director's name or past accomplishments, will laud any and every attempt at 'ART'. The other reviews of this barking French Dog of an Art film are fawning in the extreme. This is the worst film I've seen in years. Rare is the film that that is so bad that you collapse in tears of laughter. It's quite as if an elementary school film class got hold of good equipment, managed to slip the entire cast prozac and ex-lax and then proceeded to film all the characters from the neck down. There are stunning shots of horses legs, men's legs, chain mail butts and the occasional shot of a horses eye. This had some significance to someone- but was laughable as anything other than a skewed attempt at symbolism.The battle scenes were the best of the bad- the red paint spewed out of the fake neck of an armored mannequin was hand pumped- and yes..the fake dime store plastic arrow glued to the head of the obviously frightened and probably sedated horse almost killed me with laughter. Every film student should buy this DVD and watch in over and over and take extensive notes on HOW NOT TO MAKE AN ART FILM. Jeez- I'm sorry..but the most remarkable thing about this film is that ANYONE actually spent money making it. This ART film makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Shakespeare.Movie Review: The Worse Movie I've Ever Seen
Summary: 1 Stars
Other reviewers have said it better than I can (the one star reviewers that is.) This is the benchmark that one can judge all horrible flicks against. This movie is so bad that it leaves me speechless. I could make a better movie than this one. The producer must have spent at least $500 making it; I don't think he can recover his expenditures. How anyone can rate this more than one star is beyond me. This movie will make you sick.
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