Kindergarten Cop
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Movie Reviews of Kindergarten Cop
Movie Review: The Governator shows his soft side
Summary: 5 Stars
This movie gets spoofed in JibJab's short film "Ah-nold for Governor" in which the Governator cites the movie as evidence of his gubernatorial political qualifications. Hey, it's a lot more convincing than John Kerry's. Especially since this movie is so irresistible.
You just have to see the scene in which John Kimble reads the kids a poem about clouds. (Incidentally, it's Spring Morning" from A.A. Milne's book, "When We Were Very Young.") Schwarzenegger displays a Richard Belzer kind of tenderness. Then he will turn around and beat the living daylights out of the abusive father in the film ("He fell down. You all say the same thing.")
Kimble's relationship with Grace is moving and convincing and his camaraderie with his female partner Phoebe is evocative of Detectives Benson and Stabler in "Law & Order: SVU". I love the scene in which he makes up an entire background (something cops are used to doing) and Phoebe pretends to have an Austrian accent (she's almost more convincing than Ah-nold.)
The childrens' loyalty and response to Kimble is a joy to see. Schwarzenegger's work with children and his natural charisma make this fish-out-of-water story work. Anyone who's ever taught children will empathize with Kimble's disastrous first day.
There are great villains in this piece too, including a mother-in-law from hell.
My favorite lines...
Phoebe: You're not so tough without your car, are you?
Detective John Kimble: There *is* no bathroom.
Joseph: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Detective John Kimble: Thanks for the tip.
Tina & Rina: Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.
Joseph: My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.
Detective John Kimble: I Have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor!
Miss Schlowski: What did it feel like to hit that S.O.B.?
Detective John Kimble: It felt great.
(I love how the principal then starts practicing her right hook once Kimble leaves her office. You don't want to mess with this woman anyway, right hook or no.)
Detective John Kimble: Just don't throw up on me.
Phoebe: Nah, it's OK, I'm not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you!
Detective John Kimble: I really appreciate your honesty. You happen to know someone that is not better than me?
Dominic: I don't know that many people.
Detective John Kimble: They're 6-year-old kids. How much trouble can they be?
Phoebe: On second thought, take the gun.
Crisp's mother is buying a heap of pediatric medication
Cullen Crisp: The boy's not sick.
Eleanor Crisp: Doesn't hurt to take precautions.
Cullen Crisp: Mother, you are going to make him sick. You stuffed all this crap down my throat for years, and there was nothing wrong with me!
Eleanor Crisp: That's why there was nothing wrong with you.
Cullen Crisp: Now, how can you argue with that?
Great comedy.
Movie Review: The Governator at his best
Summary: 5 Stars
One might not think this movie would have ever worked. 1990 was a pretty good year for Arnold with Total Recall and one might not have put him in this movie. It paired him back up with Twins director Ivan Reitman and I don't think mainstream America could see Arnold in this film.John Kimble(Schwarzenegger) is a detective that loves his job. He is trying to bring down a drug lord Crisp(Tyson). To do that he must find Crisp's ex-wife and child. They have the evidence he needs to do that, but nobody is quite sure where they are. They are found though and they are living in the small town of Asotria, Oregon. Kimble then teams up with his new partner Phoebe(Reed) to go there and find them.
They go to Oregon and have arrangements made for Phoebe to go undercover at the local school. They know Crisps kid would be five and should be in kindergarten. There is only one kindergarten class so he has to be there. After Phoebe gets sick somebody has to fill in and Kimble steps up. He'll take her place and pretend to be a kindergarten teacher.
The plan quickly backfires in his place. He barely makes it through his first day. If it werent' for another teacher Joyce(Miller) he wouldn't have made it. I'm not going to reveal anymore of the plot because it spoils the movie and this really is a fun movie.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is the man in the movie. You have to love watching him interact with the kids in the movie. He is so much bigger than all of them, most of them are only up past his knees. You get to see a softer side of Arnold and at this point this was only the second family oriented movie he had made other than Twins. A lot of people didn't think he could interact with the kids and he shines.
The kids are fantastic in the movie. This kind of movie all depends on the chemistry of the kids and the star. You can tell the kids loved working with Arnold and why wouldn't they have. At this time in his carear he was the biggest action star in Hollywood. All the kids are great and they will leave you laughing and smiling.
Some have said this really isn't all that of a kids movie. I have to agree with them in some ways. I saw if for the first time at 8 years old and I had no problem with it. Some kids might not understand why the mom and kid are running and thats up to parents to explain that to them. Parts of the movie are a little violent and there is some swearing but it's all PG-13 stuff.
I love this movie. I've enjoyed it for over a decade now. Arnold is the man and this movie is one of the reasons why. Everybody should see this comedy at least once. So go get it and be prepared for a good time.
Movie Review: the cops are coming... to a TV screen near you
Summary: 5 Stars
Back in the early to mid 90's, family films such as this one were extremely popular. Everyone seemed to love them, too. Of course, as time goes on, people eventually get an urge for something different, and that's exactly what happened. However, looking back, Kindergarten Cop is easily a very pleasant film that holds up nicely, mostly because it's just a simple straight-forward family movie with a nice and easy storyline. You can easily follow along without getting annoyed at any difficult-to-grasp storyline twists or anything like that.
It's funny since I'm an adult now and thinking how back in the day Arnold used to be considered one of the baddest guys in town. Now, however, you can see there's plenty of action stars who look more impressive. That's not to take away from his acting abilities. I'm just pointing out he doesn't look as intimidating to me now. Sure, his muscles were fairly big in the movie, but we've all seen much bigger.
When Arnold walks into a classroom filled with a bunch of 5 year olds, you know it's going to be quite funny. What's amazing to me is how the children seemed so smart for their age. They were aware of some adult situations that many kids wouldn't be aware of until they reach 3rd grade.
Also, more often than not, the story will switch directions into a bunch of single women finding Arnold attractive as the Kindergarten teacher, and either hitting on him, or trying to look impressive when around him. These are good scenes as well.
Of course, it's a family movie, and looking at some of the children in the Kindergarten class you will recognize a few of them that went on to become even bigger stars. A great movie.
Movie Review: Four words: "It's not a tumor!"
Summary: 5 Stars
Arnold Schwarzenegger is, by far, the best action star in cinema history. Not only do the writers of the films he's in give him the best one liners ever written, but he has a warmth in him in his good guy roles that just him fun to watch.This movie is great fun. I first saw it when I was 9, and absolutely loved Arnie on screen. He just worked well with the children. The plot of the movie actually makes sense too, although Arnie being hired on as a teacher seems contrived (unless they used police connections to get him in).
I don't really know if these movie is appropriate for young kids. There are just too many stupid parents out there right now. If you've raised your child responsibly, then there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to watch this film. I loved violent movies when I was younger, and I don't eat people!
Bottom line
I think kids would love this movie as an intro to Arnie movies. The more I think about it, the more I understand why his films are now being aired on AMC. Arnie is an American icon with a broad range of roles. This movie proves it.
Movie Review: Immortal Vs. Innocent Children
Summary: 5 Stars
The supernatural force known as Arnold Schwarzenegger faces his biggest enemy yet, children. Reuniting with director Ivan Reitman, Arnold touches all the bases with this comedy. John Kimble is in search of Crisp, the evil drug dealer that shoots his clients. Crisp's wife and son are hiding in the beautiful Portland, Oregon and it's up to Kimble to go undercover and find the mother and son before Crisp does. Excitement! Throw in a funny partner played by Pamela Reed, "Snap out of it!". She was originally supposed to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher, but gets food poisoning. So, it's up to the deity Schwarzenegger to teach the children some lessons. He puts them through Police School and brings in his deformed dog? Hilarity! Or remember the part where Kimble went to the party at the beginning and told those guys that he loved his car and pulled out a weapon. Pure Immortal!