Joan Collins: The Bitch
by Gerry O'Hara
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: John Ratzenberger Joan Collins; Michael Colby; Kenneth HaighDirector: Gerry O'Hara
Brand: PEACE ARCH HOME ENTERTAINMENT
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language)
Format: Color, Digital Sound, Dolby, DVD-Video, Full length, Full Screen, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 102 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2006-01-31
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Studio: Trinity Home Ent
Movie Reviews of Joan Collins: The Bitch
Movie Review: So bad . . . so awesomely bad. Just completely trashy.
Summary: 4 Stars
Who could possibly care if Fontaine's "trendy disco" goes in the toilet? Or how she'll make ends meet until the next mark comes along? Or why everyone seems to be having such a bad time making this movie? Then there's the bizarre appearance of John Ratzenberger (Cliff from "Cheers") to contend with, also. I've never seen anything that made being rich look so stupid and so silly. Oh, and if you're wondering how to save an ailing discoteque, just hire some topless jive dancers in space make-up and project fake fire onto the wall--it'll do wonders for business. I guess if you're a fan, Ms. Collins is doing what she does best here. But the movie is just horrific, of course. I stared in awe, alternately rolling my eyes, laughing at how unintentionally funny it is, and marvelling at the sheer camp.
And that's the reason to watch.
Before our eyes, we see the last days of disco and the failure of the sexual revolution. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a document of a fascinating moment in social history. The gloss and artificiality of 1979 are painstaking. From the countless would-be pornographic sex scenes, scored to whacka-chicka music (and don't miss the dreadful group party scene toward the end), to the endlessly chromed and mirrored interiors, to the soft focus photography which connotes slick amorality--like a late-'70s Cadillac or Lincoln, it's an overwhelming clunker of glitz, glamour, and gratuity.
Soon enough, 1980 would come, bringing with it AIDS, Thatcher and Reagan, and smaller, more fuel-efficient cars. It's a fitting end that Fontaine's cameo is engulfed in the flames of her own disco inferno at the closing credits--the party is over, the punchbowl's been taken away, and the hangover will be to hell to pay.
Summary of Joan Collins: The Bitch
Synopsis: From the best selling novel by Jackie Collins, meet Fontaine, a high living, pleasure-seeking divorcee who meets her match in the first class cabin on a flight to London. Unbeknownst to Fontaine, the elegant Italian Nico Cantafora was not just interested in playing around and has secretly brought her into an international robbery. Little does he know, Fontaine is up for any game.Art House & International DVD Video
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