Inseminoid (aka Horror Planet)
by Norman J. Warren
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Barrie Houghton, Jennifer Ashley, Robin Clarke, Stephanie Beacham, Steven GrivesDirector: Norman J. Warren
DVD: Region Code 0
Audio: English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 2.0
Format: Color, DVD, Letterboxed, NTSC, Widescreen
Picture Format: Letterbox, 2.35:1
Running Time: 93 minutes
DVD Release Date: 1999-04-06
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Studio: Elite Entertainment
Movie Reviews of Inseminoid (aka Horror Planet)
Movie Review: "The Inconceivable Is About To Be Conceived!"
Summary: 2 Stars
"Inseminoid" is a British piece of derivative theater riding on the coat tails of "Alien." Starting with incredibly cheap credits ("Sir Run Run Shaw Presents"...) it has the cheesy production values you would expect from a low budget sci-fi epic from the early 1980's. It looks like half of the movie was filmed in a junior high school locker room and the other half in a salt mine. (In reality it was largely shot in some caves outside London.) The synthesizer soundtrack is particularly dated, and, therefore, entertaining.
Early on there is conversation and narration explaining that earlier expeditions to this planet were disastrous, but that, fortunately, the current expedition has uncovered a huge tomb complex to explore which can help the astronauts figure out what happened to the previous inhabitants. While exploring the tombs, astronauts find a gross mass which attacks them. (This may look very familiar to those of you who have seen "Alien.") People, starting with astronaut Ricky, go bonkers in short order, and before you know it we see a whiny female astronaut hacking her own foot off with an electric hedge trimmer. (Really.)
After a short but somber space funeral the cast gets right back to looking at rocks and walking around in caves. There is a very lame alien-eviscerating-astronaut scene (realism is not one of the strong points of the film), after which the accompanying female astronaut, Sandy, is kidnapped to be used for the nefarious activities implied in the title. (Yuck.) After Sandy becomes "with alien" the flashbacks start in earnest, and she goes on a rampage which is modestly (though not very realistically) gory. There are a lot of fights and lots of screaming. Judy Geeson, an actually quite talented actress, proves that when so instructed she can shriek as loudly as anyone; this is modestly annoying after a short while, especially during the alien delivery scene. A variety of weapons are used in these fights including hammers, crowbars, a bathroom sink, and a laser pistol. What the film lacks in originality it makes up with the diversity of its arsenal.
As the plot winds down, the unpossessed astronauts kidnap the twin mutant alien babies while the remainder of the cast goes after Sandy, who is also now a vampire of sorts (though in an unusual twist on the Dracula myth, she seems to prefer to chew on the intestines and legs). I won't disclose the exciting conclusion, although once again anyone who has seen "Alien" may not be entirely surprised.
The film is entertaining in a campy way, as it is laughably bad. The DVD print is quite good. The only extra is a copy of the incredibly grainy original theatrical trailer which contains a few of great taglines like "The inconceivable is about to be conceived!...It is not a blessed event!"
This is cheese with a touch of gore. It is very derivative of the genre and the plot contains few unpredictable plotpoints, but fans of early 1980's sci-fi or B-movie fans will likely enjoy seeing it once.
Summary of Inseminoid (aka Horror Planet)
Tower of Evil: A nude crazed woman slaughters a sailor on an island, then is taken back to civilization. An expedition is mounted to explore the island, which leads to a series of psychosexual murders. Inseminoid: A horrorific alien life form is awakened, and it needs the bodies of those who disturbed it...so it can breed!! Horror Hospital: Doc Storm, a crippled demented genius, performs brain surgery on his patients, making them brainless zombies! Curse of the Voodoo: After killing a lion, a big game hunter finds himself cursed by some African lion worshippers. The hunter then must find the witchdoctor and kill him, as the only way to lift the curse.It's trouble in space, as a crew of astronauts brings a little something extra back on their bargain spaceship. One explorer goes mental and hijacks the tram inside a space mining facility, then another gets her foot caught and amputates it with a hedge trimmer. A third (Judy Geeson, looking like a poor man's Angie Dickinson) is impregnated by a big slimy-looking alien, and then the trouble really starts. She has the rest of her crewmates on the run as the gestating little monsters inside her command her to KILL KILL KILL, eventually smashing up the cheapo control room aboard the ship and generally causing trouble. The plot elements will ring familiar bells for sci-fi fans, dating back to Alien and even the moldy Fifties classic It! The Creature from Beyond Space, with an alien stowaway and paranoid, suspicious crew members aboard a claustrophobic spacecraft. The movie's cheesy look is unavoidable throughout, with sets about on a par with an episode of the original Star Trek. However, there's a rather high gore quotient, wonderfully hambone performances (Geeson has a shriek that rivals any '50s scream queen), and a fairly repulsive (and inexpensive) alien. Fans of B?movie sci-fi should find that Inseminoid will deliver some fairly familiar goods in a pleasingly trashy package. --Jerry Renshaw
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