Hercules in New York
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Movie Reviews of Hercules in New York
Movie Review: Well why not
Summary: 4 Stars
I havent actualy seen the entire movie yet but from what i've seen it should be good. I bought the DVD to show my cinima class, after seeing the scene where Mr. S ride through NYcity in a chariot, while some guy with a hot dog followed him; I laught my head off(it was a real knee slaper). If you're looking for a film with great special effects and superb acting look some whare. From what i here the DVD lets you view the film with or without Mr.S's real voice, so that should make it even funner.Movie Review: Well why not
Summary: 4 Stars
I havent actualy seen the entire movie yet but from what i've seen it should be good. I bought the DVD to show my cinima class, after seeing the scene where Mr. S ride through NYcity in a chariot, while some guy with a hot dog followed him; I laught my head off(it was a real knee slaper). If you're looking for a film with great special effects and superb acting look some whare. From what i here the DVD lets you view the film with or without Mr.S's real voice, so that should make it even funner.Movie Review: 70's Fun with Arnold...
Summary: 3 Stars
Low budget is the key phrase in describing this film debut of the pre-'Pumping Iron" Mighty Ripped One, Arnold. But don't let that keep you from enjoying the film, flaws and all, for it really is a lark and a half. The movie is also known as "Hercules Goes Bananas", and that ought to tell you something.The music is heavily zithered, a la "The Third Man", but seems oddly appropriate to the film. It actually grows on you, believe it or not. We get an interesting view of the gods hanging out on Mount Olympus, and we meet a dashing Pluto (AKA Death). Tony 'Mr.World' Carroll cameos in a weightlifting contest with Herc, and "Dark Shadows" alum Tracy Loomis plays Herc's love interest, Helen. Soap opera regular Ernest Graves steals all of his scenes as Zeus.
On the DVD, you can choose between the Real Arnold voice track, and the dubbed voice track. I sampled the dubbed version, and then quickly opted for the Real Arnold, with his classic Arnold accent that renders him almost unintelligible ("Eye yam Her-cue-leesse!"). The dubbing is classic in it's own way, however, with the ridiculously deep, white, all-American, manly voice so common to dubbed pictures of Herc, et al. But, with an Arnold movie, we need the sound of Arnold's own vocal undulations as he navigates the rocky waters of the English language.
Arnold Stang actually gets top billing over Arnold Strong (Schwarzenegger). Stang was a memorable, but largely forgotten comedian from the golden age of television. Perhaps most memorable for the voices of "Top Cat" (Hanna-Barbera)and "Herman" (Famous Studios), Stang also appeared in "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World". Here, Stang plays the goofy schlub "Pretzie" (so named because he sells pretzels), a perpetually bewildered person who befriends the bewildered Herc.
Herc has been cast out of Olympus for talking smack to his dad, Zeus. Herc wants to meet new people, and see the mortal world, and when Zeus gets tired of hearing about it, he hurls a lightning bolt (which looks suspiciously like a bent piece of re-bar that was spray painted silver), and POOF! Herc is falling to Earth. Before you know it, he's teaching athletes how to throw the discus and javelins, becoming outraged when he sees a movie poster for a Herc movie, beating up escaped grizzly bears, etc. He also starts making time with the daughter of a college professor (with an interest in mythology, of course), and takes up wrestling.
Half the fun is Arnold's acting. The other half is the valiant attempt of the filmmakers in making lemons out of lemonade on their skimpy budget. Stang is a bit over the top at times, but really helps to keep things moving in a typical kid's movie kind of way.
Probably the biggest flaw with the movie is that the relationship between Herc and Helen is never resolved. In fact, Helen inexplicably vanishes before the movie is all wrapped up. The movie does end delightfully, with the mighty Zeus casting an eye towards his old stomping grounds, but the loose ends are kind of annoying.
Besides the dual voice track, the DVD also offers some TV spots from the movie's 1980 re-release (post-"Conan"), in which Arnold is given heavy play.
The DVD is a must-have for Arnold fans, or fans of low-budget dreck for the 70's. Suitable as a guilty pleasure, or as a treat for the kid in all of us.
Movie Review: Demigod with Muscles
Summary: 3 Stars
Arnold Schwarzenegger sure came a long way. Before he rose to action stardom and made his Austrian mark in the U.S. Government, he was in "Hercules in New York", 90 minutes of Mr. Universe 1969 flexing his biceps. That wasn't the path to career stardom he was looking for.
Out of circumstances, I had to watch this movie twice: first on the overdubbed version, and second with the original AHNOLD voice. The overdubbed version had severe audio problems, mainly the music and sound effects have been entirely absent, and the movie makes that loud, irritating hissing sound whenever Hercules talks (I must've seen a bad copy); this viewing was more audibly muted than a silent film. The original version thankfully has all of the sounds intact, because I would've rated this movie 2 stars otherwise. Arnold's voice was utterly incomprehensible, much more that he is now; his over-burly accent was worse than Tor Johnson, Tommy Wiseau and David Moo combined. He mumbles and half of his dialogue are indistinct, so his performance was a barrel of laughs. But at least it's AHNOLD's own voice, not some bored voice actor who's reading over the lines without any passion or effort. It's the actor's own uncanny ability that made it worth watching, among a few other things.
As for the story, well, Hercules is a narcissistic, sexist jerk who speaks in the third person (so Arnold's really playing himself). He angered his dad Zeus, and Zeus zapped him from the heavens to go to Earth. After being dropped to New York, he then met a nebbish pretzel-seller named Prezzi, who makes Rick Moranis look like Hugh Jackman. Together, they face off against mobsters, greek gods, and escaped zoo animals. Yep. It's not just the story that's horrible, even the costumes (nice ascot, Hades), the sets, and the editing was on the lowest common denomination. The actors, most of all, delivered some of the most asinine dialogue I've heard, like when Prezzi mistaken tea for drugs. TEA FOR DRUGS, How did he come up with that connection? Is this a 1960s colloquialism that I don't know about? And then there's the greek score, which happens to play the same happy melody for the entire film, even when Hercules got his tight abs handed to him.
Chalk "Hercules in New York" as another so-bad-it's-good entertainment. Honestly, has there ever been a movie where Hercules fights a bear? Okay, there was, but this movie made it even cheaper and unfathomably ridiculous. The guy in the bear costume acts more like an ape than a bear, and the bear walked on its own two feet when he discovered Hercules. And then the bear wrestled him, which is just beyond description. It's worth a look for that, as well as the most confusing chase sequence between two cars and a chariot in motion picture history.
Movie Review: Hercules Was Just a Spoiled Brat
Summary: 3 Stars
I love Hercules movies, so yesterday, I decided to watch Hercules in New York, also known as Hercules Goes Bananas. This was Arnold Schwarzenegger's (called Arnold Strong in the credits) first flick, his role garnered by the misleading claim of his agent that he had years of stage experience. Of course, the stage experience was in bodybuilding, not theatre.
Still, Arnold's lack of acting experience didn't stop this movie from being made, and somehow, despite such horrendous beginnings, Arnold has since gone on to become a big name in both movies and politics. One particularly eerie line uttered by an Olympian in the movie states that Herc might eventually become the president of the United States. Oh my.
Although I wouldn't consider Arnold to be a master thespian now, his acting and diction have improved enormously since 1970. Hercules in New York is one of those wonderful movies that is so bloody awful, it's an absolute gem. Herc bulldozes his way through NYC with narcissistic chutzpah, thick muscles, and an even thicker "Greek" accent. He is Captain Kirkian in his ability to shed his shirt at a moment's notice, and doesn't waste an opportunity to flex his enormous muscles.
Hercules in New York suffers from some of the same problems as Plan 9 From Outer Space: terrible dialogue, dreadful blocking, incompetent direction, bad actors, and nonexistent continuity. For example, during the climactic fight between Herc and a man in a bear suit, it vacillates between day and night.
I hadn't realized Olympians were into shabby chic. Zeus's throne is in a state of disrepair, and his thunderbolts are fashioned of rebar. To top it off, Venus is homely.
I think my favourite part of the whole movie is when Nemesis chats with Pluto at the gates of Hades. A dog barks in the background (ostensibly Cerberus, who argues with himself incessantly), and at one point, a truck horn honks loudly. Nice touch, don't you think?
It's also a nice touch when Atlas and Samson are sent to give aid to a divinity-stripped Hercules. Shouldn't Alas be holding up the sky or something? And shouldn't Samson be in the Bible? Ah well. Who cares? Obviously not the writers!
As of today, Hercules in New York is ranked #33 in the bottom 100 on IMDB. That sounds about right. Hercules in New York is a must-see for connoisseurs of bad cinema. It's hard to believe it wasn't given the treatment by the MST3K guys.