Heavy Metal 2000
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Movie Reviews of Heavy Metal 2000
Movie Review: Heavy Metal 2000
Summary: 3 Stars
This film sharing the name of the 1981 classic "Heavy Metal" has solid animation and an old country western style plot in a sci-fi futuristic setting. This film is pretty graphic and hardcore, but the original "Heavy Metal" is better in my opinion.Movie Review: May be...
Summary: 3 Stars
I love the firts Heavy Metal but the second, I don't know.I see this 2 times and it's not a bad movie but it's not the first Heavy Metal....
Movie Review: Poor sequal
Summary: 2 Stars
The main problem with this film, at least in my opinion, is that it isn't a conglomeration of stories like the original was. Its all one story, one set of characters, one group of animators...and it therefore doesn't have the "epic" appeal the original did. It would have been nice, knowing so many American animators out there who wouldn't mind having such an innocent start in their career, to have had different stories done by different people. Why can't we have an American version of "Robot Carnival" or perhaps more recently "The Animatrix"?That being said, lets talk about this movie. A miner working on a meteor discovers an evil glowing rock that turns him evil and makes him do evil things. He promptly dubs himself the evil "Lord Tyler" and takes over the ship making the crew do evil things.
OK, listen, who the hell decided to name him Lord Tyler? That is the dumbest, most unthreatening name in film history. It sounds like a 98 pound dweeb who's been going at Dungeons and Dragons too much.
"Gna! I am Lord Tyler! Fear me! Gnaaaaaa!"
Any way, Lord Tyler takes his evil crew and quickly attacks a peaceful, defenseless planet because he can. Sadly, he fails to kill Julie and her sister, the latter which he kidnaps obviously so he can do evil things to her. Julie picks up an annoying sidekick because every needs one, and together they go to a space station.
What follows is one of the worst animated action scenes in history. Julie stands and shoots her gun, the villains stand and shoot their gun...and every dies except either of them. Clearly the bullets are hurt that these two groups of people would want to kill each other, and must kill others to show them that violence is stupid. Or maybe the director just stinks at making action scenes.
Lord Tyler gets away casting "magic missile" and lands on a planet inhabited by lizard beings and six-eyed weenies. The six-eyed weenies hold the water of eternal life, but Lord Tyler is scared by six-eyed people so he just goes with the lizard people instead, hoping to let them do the fighting for him. Julie tries to seduce and slaughter him, but some how the rock care bear in the story runs in, pulls her out, and the movie continues another thirty minutes.
Then there's the climactic battle between the lizards and weenies. Julie and archnemesis Lord Tyler duke it out in a poorly choreographed fight before he's finally killed (actually, his mom tells him to stop playing "Everquest" and asks him to come up for dinner). The movie could end, but then one of the good guys turns out to be a CG monster and the movie continues another five minutes. Then it ends. Finally.
So what is this storyline? Well, like reviewers before me have said, its basically the last story in the original film but stretched out for another hour and a half. It could have been cool but...no it wasn't.
Movie Review: Typical
Summary: 2 Stars
"Heavy Metal 2000" is absolutely perfect for thirteen year old boys (who won't know any better) and other pervs that still have a picture of that "Star Trek Voyager" girl stuck on their wall. Now why would I say that? T&A, blood, guns, and outer space all done in the most laughable way imaginable. If that sounds good to you, then you should stop reading this and buy it; you'll love it. But if that doesn't appeal to you (gee, I wonder why), then pass. This movie is drenched in sex. There's as many sexual scenes (nudity, sex, and sexual 'jokes') as there is guns in the film; and you have your predictable shower and seduction scene too. And it almost worked for this guy too. But, I have brain cells and a love for movies with an actual story in it. "Heavy Metal 2000" have neither. The story was horrible. The bad guy has a key to immortality and Julie (that was her name, right?) stalks him after he kills everyone in her town. None of the characters are interesting except for the film's heroine Julie. Julie is your typical cartoon version of Angelina Jolie (huge breasts, skimpy outfits, always seems to lose her clothes, and a bad attitude; just like Mrs. Jolie herself! (joke)) and is just as ridiculous as Lara Croft. Her appearance doesn't bother me, but the film wouldn't have suffered at all if she was a guy instead. Julie has a way of getting stuck in a lot of ridiculous situations. For example, the seduction scene with Tyler and the part were she has to kiss some alien slob to get across lava (as Julie says, 'If this is what it takes to get Tyler.....' I mean, come on! How lame is that?). And that's the other reason I didn't like it, they should've concentrated on the story, not her. She does get extra points for lame one-liners that actually work and, let's face it, any woman who could kill Pikachu is a-ok. With the exception of Julie's voice, none of the voice actors are convincing. Where's Matt Stone and Trey Parker when you need them? The animation does help save the film. It's definitely not "Ghost In The Shell", but it does look nice. Throw in some computer graphics for good measure, and you have a slick looking film. But not enough to save it. It gets boring often and you wish there were more suprises thrown in (not that lame attempt at a surprise for the ending either, that was predictable as well). You've heard me bash the film, so why the two stars instead of one? Well, the action scenes are good, the animation is good, Julie (so what if she's a cartoon centerfold?), and I'm being really generous. I doubt I'll ever watch this again though, I'll just stick with "Akira".Movie Review: Don't waste your money
Summary: 2 Stars
Fans of the "Melting Pot" books by Eastman, Talbot and Bisley will quickly be disappointed. The Heavy Metal magazine guys took a great series, borrowed the characters and rewrote the story. Except for references to names and places, there is little resemblance to the original story. If the objective was to tell a completely different story, Heavy Metal didn't need "Melting Pot" at all."Heavy Metal 2000" fails to deliver what "Heavy Metal" did. Apparently marketing didn't feel that audiences would be able to relate to non-human characters, so they made all of main characters human. In fact, there isnt' even a "Julie" in the original story. I find it amusing that the writers didn't even put forth the creative effort to at least think of a ficitious name for actress Julie Strain (except for an awkward reference to "FAKK2"). Clearly this movie was produced solely to advance the career of this actress. After all, I believe her husband owns Heavy Metal magazine. This is an abomination to the legitimate work put into the "Melting Pot". Eastman, et. al. should be ashamed for allowing this to happen to their work.
If you are a "Melting Pot" fan, please don't purchase this video. It ISN'T "Melting Pot Animated". If you are a teenage "Heavy Metal" fan and just want a little T&A thrown in, MAYBE this is for you. You're better off buying the original "Heavy Metal" video as this is much, much better both in character development, as well as deeper story-telling.
However, I will say that the CGI animation was very good. The character animation was rather flat (like your Saturday-morning cartoons -- think "Titan A.E"). Lots and lots of marketing went into this film, and they'll probably make more money on after-market merchandising. The film, however, fails miserably to live up to the hype. Many fans who waited for YEARS for this animated feature will be disappointed.