Good Guys Wear Black
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Movie Reviews of Good Guys Wear Black
Movie Review: Good guys write halfway intelligible plots.
Summary: 2 Stars
Good Guys Wear Black (Ted Post, 1978)
Secret Movie Confessions time: I have been a fan of bad Chuck Norris movies most of my life. I have lost count of the number of times I've seen the Missing in Action flicks over the years; I had both on a scratchy VHS I taped from HBO back in my high school days along with The Octagon, and I watched that tape incessantly. But somehow I'd never got round to seeing Good Guys Wear Black until now. I wish I hadn't.
I'd like to give you a plot synopsis. I really would. It has something to do with an elite squad of assassins during the Vietnam War who, years later, are being bumped off one by one thanks to some guy's political aspirations. (This is not a spoiler; the opening scene sets it up in such a way that there's only one real explanation.) But the plot gets bogged down a number of times and disappears entirely in others thanks to a script (by one guy who never worked in Hollywood again, as far as I can tell, and one who was working on his first screenplay; this was Mark Medoff, who obviously went to screenwriting school after this, since he was justly nominated for an Oscar less than a decade later for Children of a Lesser God) that makes as little sense as it possibly can and still remain marginally coherent. It's like a falling-down drunk quantum physicist trying to explain quarks to you when you never got beyond third-grade math, except in this scenario you're the genius. It's entirely the movie's fault that it makes no sense.
Still, the movie's worth watching entirely for one cameo. Jim Backus (yes, Thurston Howell III!) plays a doorman towards the end of the movie, and he's by far the best actor to be found here. Anne Archer pops up as Chuck Norris' love interest. Dana Andrews, at the twilight of his career (he would make just three more feature films) shows up as an old, nasty drunk politician; think of him as Charles Laughton in Advise and Consent, except that Laughton brought his A game to that film, while Andrews brings his D game here (though his final soliloquy is one of the movie's few high points). If you're not a big Chuck Norris fan, though, you can probably skip it and not be missing much. Actually, you can also do so if you are a big Chuck Norris fan. **
Movie Review: Bad Norris Film
Summary: 2 Stars
I was completely deceived with this movie. I thought it was going to be another Norris-cop film, being that Chuck's wearing official cop shades on the cover. Then I thought I was watching Missing In Action, because the plot seemed to be similar...at least in the beginning. It turned out to be just another Norris film with no real highlights in it.
My complaints are as follows:
- the opening credits were horrid!! It was some new technology that Hollywood was playing around with using psychedelic colors and blurred-digital graphics. The song was ear-bleeding and nauseating. I just skipped it.
- The acting was as expected for such a film. The fight scenes were just lame and could have been done better with Tiger Showman-style karate, not the great martial arts we expect from Norris.
- The scene where Norris goes head-on with a speeding car was just ridiculous, especially after it was over and Chuck's just hanging out of the windshield looking like, "okay, now what?"
- There's no way they'd let anyone (even in the 70's) just bring a suitcase with a bomb on a plane. That part just ruined the movie for me and almost caused me to rip the disc from my player.
I do have to admit that the girl in the movie (Anne Archer) was smoking hot and there's no way she'd be in bed with Chia-Pet Chuck. I was hoping for a flash of flesh but was disappointed. The plot wasn't horrible, but could have been a bit better. Also the ending was great as I was wondering how Norris was going to clean up the mess that had been created.
Really not a bad movie, but I was expecting something more from Mr. Norris. Perhaps I'll have to check out his Missing in Action Collection (1, 2 & 3) series. This film could have been a great prequel for that.
Movie Review: A Early And Lesser Norris Effort
Summary: 2 Stars
Good Guys Wear Black was the first major film starring Chuck Norris, who came to fame as Bruce Lee's deadly opponent in Return of The Dragon. Norris began his starring career in a ripoff of the CB radio crzae called Breaker, Breaker.
But Good Guys Wear Black is his first major effort, and while it's not the worst he's made, it's not the best. This tale of an ex- Special Ops commander whose Vietnam unit members are being killed off is okay in places, and laughably bad in others. The dialogue in some spots is bad enough to make you pause and rewind just to make sure you heard it correctly. The highlight of the movie is the great stunt where Norris jumps through a windshield to get at a would-be assassin, but that alone is not worth the effort to see this film.
Movie Review: Don't let the trailer fool you!!!
Summary: 2 Stars
Like many of you, I saw the trailer and I thought that this was gonna be an low budget action-packed film of the 70's, BUT I GOT PULLED!
What the trailer doesn't tell you is that there is only ONE action scene and it's only at the begining. The scene is at midnight and you don't get to see the action soo clearly, besides, Chuck Norris is not the one-man-army in that scene.
The rest of the action scenes were SOOO SHORT!! You don't get excited enought! you think that the action is gonna go on, but NOOOT!! it QUICKLY stops to hear more blah,blah,blah!
For Chuck Norris fans maybe this movie is worth watching it, but for those who want the "Missing in Action" style then search somewere else.
Adios.
Movie Review: Good Guys Wear Black
Summary: 2 Stars
A Special Forces unit gets sent into North Vietnam to rescue some POW's. The unit is setup but a few manage to escape the ambush and survive. Five years later the remaining survivors are targeted for termination one by one. Fortunately Chuck Norris (Major Booker) is warned by a pretty special investigator (Anne Archer) and the hunt is on for the mastermind behind everything. The plot is okay but if you're expecting a lot of martial arts you may be disappointed. Likewise, Chuck Norris provides his usual cardboard acting skills with some typical action scenes you would expect for this kind of film.