Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
by John Gulager
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Clu Gulager, Diane Goldner, Jennifer WadeDirector: John Gulager
Brand: Wellspring Media INC
Commentary: Cast and crew
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: Spanish (Subtitled); English (Subtitled); English (Original Language)
Format: Color, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: 1.66:1
Running Time: 97 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2008-10-07
Audience Rating: Unrated
Model: 81553
Studio: Weinstein Company
Movie Reviews of Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
Movie Review: Feast II: The Slamdunk after the Airball - No barrier left unbreached
Summary: 5 Stars
I didn't like the original Feast. It was boring and uninspired. Feast II, however, truly outdoes its predecessor, and going down as one of the most jaw-dropping movies I've ever seen. It's impossible to truly encompass how wild this movie is and how many bizarre turns it takes, but I'll give it a shot.
A woman biker gang who look like the SuicideGirls are on the hunt. Led by a shotgun-toting, German Sheppard blasting, alcohol swilling, tattoo covered bad a*$ named Biker Queen (BQ), they're a formidable group sure to cause havoc and show full frontal nudity. BQ is looking for her sister, who just happens to be the biker chick from Feast who got her leg severed and then got strapped to a homemade bomb as monster bait. Let's go back about 16 hours...
An explosion happens in a small town - ostensibly for an alien landing - and aliens soon chase people around, murdering, decapitating, and destroying the town. Meanwhile, midget luchadores named Thunder and Lightning are in their, one of them engaged in a vigorous railing of his girlfriend. Off with her head! The character Hobo from the first film is in jail, and gets to see a monster devour the jailer. An infidelitous wife (Secrets) and her slick talking used car salesman husband (Slasher), along with his employee (Greg Swank) - who is proud of his glorious mustache and is the guy with whom the wife has been cheating - are sneaking through the alleys of town to avoid the monsters. Later, Lightning is seen from the back, running away with what appears to be a flesh colored night stick attached to his waist.
Now back to the biker chicks...they have an arsenal of weapons, and they're P.O.d. They find the Bartender from the original, hiding amidst the carnage. Tons of gore, dead bodies are lying everywhere, fear is palpable. The Biker chicks want to know where BQ's sister is, and Bartender knows. As a few unfortunate nobodies soon find out, get in BQ's way, and you die. Point blank shotgun blast to the chest! Neck shot! Dual Ball Peen hammer blast from a leather bikini wearing valkyrie. After the executions, guess who shows up? Honey Pie, the coward, imbecile blonde from the first movie who got into the semi and rode off without attempting to help the others. The Bartender is not happy to see her. He proceeds to beat her head against a toilet that desperately needs to be flushed - and the person who just used it desperately needs more starch in their diet - then he finishes the battle by biting her ear off ala EVANDER HOLYFIELD VS. TYSON. And if that doesn't get you pumped up, allow me to attempt a summarization of the greatness to follow:
Slasher avoids a 2 foot-high pile of alien dung; the Bartender channels his inner Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino, throwing zingers out until the very end; Lightning tells someone, "I sh#@ on the mother who gave you birth!"; puke fetishism gets mixed what appear to be LSD hallucinations; an alien with a massive wang rapes a defenseless cat for no reason; there's a grotesque alien dissection; ruptured intestines protrude out of a buxom biker's tight leather jacket; midget entrails get pulled out like a hearty linguini and marinara pasta dish, a midget catapault gets built with nothing more than a Harley and the Suicide Girls' tank tops (I told you!), and gets tested with the decaying mess that used to be the midgets' grandmother; a guy jumps off the roof of a building and impersonates Tarzan by using a severed power line; midget wrestling!; a complete barf-o-rama takes place that would make Lard Ass from Stand by Me proud; facials are delivered via what can best be described as alien autopsy mixed with cheesy Japanese tentacle porn and a fire hose; monsters climb the sides of a building and get introduced to the game of Hasbro Whac-A-Mole; and the Mexican luchador delivers a flying drop kick to one of the monsters.
And THEN it gets crazy!! The scene avoided by most, Greg ends up carrying a baby like a 60s era football, juking two monsters in the streets like Barry Sanders. FUMBLE! It's off the wall horrible, and over the top hilarious at the same time.
This is a movie you have to see with friends. It's outrageous, and you're guaranteed to have a very fun time. Just after the midget fight, The Bartender says, "I sure as s#@* seen everything now." I concur.
Summary of Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
FEAST II:SLOPPY SECONDS - DVD MovieFeast II lives in the same kitsch, slapstick camp as gore films like Street Trash and Dead Alive, though it doesn?t come close to either in terms of creativity. Some scenes are so gratuitously disgusting that one feels forced to laugh, uncomfortably, at the mayhem unfolding on-screen. Directed by John Gulager, this sequel plot-wise cares little about what happened previously, and the carload of survivors that escape in the original Feast are gone minus one girl, named Honey Pie. For now, the viewer gets to know a new crew of strangers who bond over the same common cause as in the earlier film, namely to shoot monsters while they try, unsuccessfully, to abandon the town they?re stranded in. Feast II opens the morning following the Feast massacre, when hard-boiled mama, Biker Queen (Diane Goldner), meets a barely alive Bartender (Clu Gulager) and learns of her sister?s nasty end. Embittered, she ventures out for revenge, but not before one meets the characters she will eventually be stuck with. During the first third of the film, photomontage and Super-8 scenes shot in various trailer parks, used car dealerships, and prisons introduce the viewer to the motley characters who will experience the monster wrath. Thunder (Martin Klebba) and his brother, Lightning (Juan Garcia), trailer-bound Mexican wrestlers who care for their crusty grandmother, are bi-lingual, and when they speak Spanish to their relative the film is comically subtitled. Slasher (Carl Payne) and his lady, Secrets (Hanna Putnam), lead a basically dull life until the monsters arrive. There?s Hobo (William Braille), and Greg Swank (Tom Gulager), who takes charge a bit too aggressively. Slow pacing, meaning lots of victims waiting around for attack, drags on, but there are a few over-the-top gnarly scenes that make Feast II slightly hilarious. When a monster is captured and autopsied, phallus and all, green slime spews and human upchuck spouts ceaselessly. The film is a Grindhouse-style gross-fest, meant to make one squirm, and it disregards narrative questions such as, why do these monsters want to comb towns for human flesh meals? In zombie and alien films, one is reluctant to ask why, but at some point the finest films in this genre either grapple with explanation or at least have awesome looking monsters. Feast II has neither. It?s more about sitting back, preferably before eating, for a couple hours of random blood squirting and monster chomping. --Trinie Dalton
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