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Movie Reviews of Dracula vs. FrankensteinMovie Review: What mockery is this? Summary: 2 Stars
We are brothers with the undead giant. This is a false tale that breeds misconceptions about our alliances with other tortured creatures. The bad film quality only makes the living laugh at us. I am prevented from giving it a 1 only because our Lord's name is in the title. Vampires, we must stop these cinematic assaults on our kind!!
Movie Review: DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN? MORE LIKE JIM CROCE VS MR. POTATO HEAD! Summary: 1 Stars
Well, I knew going into this mess, I wouldn't be getting much out of it. At the very least a few hearty laughs, but nothing could prepare me for what I was about to see. A monster film!? YES INDEED! My title suggesting that Dracula looks like Jim Croce (maybe Frank Zappa?)is a stretch, but it made me laugh as I wrote it as my title blurb.....also the actor playing Dracula looks about as much like Dracula as if Jim Croce wore a cape and painted his face with white grease paint. :-D
I can not even imagine how someone sold this idea, but they did accomplish one thing, they ruined the good names of Dracula and Frankenstein forever! The film has it all, atrocious acting, horrible special effects and make up and above all, a ridiculous and tedious script! I must admit that the film was a little bit better than I expected ,partly because I was seeing it in HD on MGMHD network and of course it is unintentionally funny at times.
I'm going to skip to the funny part which is the battle between Dracula (who is covered in white grease paint complete with two inches of black grease paint around his eyes and vampire teeth he bought at the nearest 5 and 10 store) and Frankenstein(I know, I know Frankenstein's monster...lets just get this over with all ready!) Frankenstein looks like a cross between Mr. Potato Head and a Cabbage Patch Kid left at the city garbage dump for a decade. I skip to this battle because the rest of the film is just excruciating to watch, but at least the battle is hilarious enough to warrant a review. Dracula literally tears Frankenstein apart limb from limb just minutes before sunrise. Dracula then slowly burns to a deep crispy skeleton with obvious cut-aways every few seconds to change the prop Dracula to the next stage. While I can not recommend this film if you see this on your local cable channel like I did, then it might be worth checking out for a few laughs.
Movie Review: UNRELENTING HORROR (and that ain't a compliment) Summary: 1 Stars
It was always a secret ambition of mine to be a movie trailer announcer during the heyday of drive-in cinema. I loved those bombastic voices carrying on about the cheesy movies as though it were the end of time. So I thought I would couch my review of this '71 "classic" in just those terms:
A FILM TO CURE INSOMNIA!
A NEW DEFINITION 0F HORROR
A FILM OF SUCH QUALITY AS TO MAKE ED D. WOOD APPEAR COMPETENT!
It's....DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN!
WATCH THE HORROR OF B MOVIE ACTORS NEAR DEATH AS THEY TRY TO BREATHE ONE LAST DESPERATE BREATH INTO THEIR ALREADY FORGOTTEN CAREERS!
LISTEN TO J. CARROLL NAISH'S DENTURES CLICK!
WATCH LON CHENEY WITH A BAD HAIRCUT KISS A PUPPY!
SEE FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND EDITOR FORRY ACKERMAN
HUGGED TO DEATH BY AN ACTOR WITH A GOAT-CHEESE OMLET ON
HIS FACE!
BEHOLD AL ADAMSON CONFUSE DAY FOR NIGHT! A TRICK POSSIBLE
ONLY BY THE GREATEST AUTUERS SUCH AS WOOD, HAAS, AND
HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS!
LISTEN AS COUNT DRACULA SPEAKS IN CONSTANT WALL OF SOUND
REVERB THAT WOULD TURN PHIL SPECTOR GREEN WITH ENVY!
WATCH THE PHONY MONSTER FIGHT AS DRAC SHREDS FRANK LIKE
A NANDINA BUSH!
It's...DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN!
Coming soon to a DVD bargain bin near you.
Movie Review: So Bad Its good Summary: 1 Stars
This Movie is just awfull. J. Carrol Naish, Lon Chaney, Forrst J. Ackerman, Dracula, Frankenstien.It was made by enjecting scenes with Dracula and Frankenstein into a unwatchable movie called "Blood Freaks". It was really bad.I place it in my collection with "Bride of the Monster", "Robot Monster" and "Bela Lugosi Meets a Broklyn Gorilla" as a classic piece of junk. It is no "Spider Baby" or "Plan 9 from Outer Space" but is a step up from "Santa Claus Versus the Martians".
Movie Review: Monster Mush Summary: 1 Stars
"Dracula vs. Frankenstein" (1971) is straight from the gutter. You may want to take a shower after watching this Z-grade nightmare. It's painful to see Lon Chaney Jr. and J. Carrol Naish exploited in such a sleazy manner. Directed by the infamous schlockmeister Al Adamson, who further humiliated an ailing Chaney in "The Female Bunch." No redeeming value whatsoever!
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