Cube Zero
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Movie Reviews of Cube Zero
Movie Review: Good time waster
Summary: 3 Stars
I wasn't a big fan of Cube but I thought it was ok so I decided to see this one, Cube Zero. It didn't disappoint me since my expectations weren't so high. Cube Zero is actually a prequel so it explains the reasons why people are trapped in a killer cube. There's enough gore to satisfy the most demented fan and the introduction of characters who exist outside the cube is interesting. I like that one observer feels sympathy for a woman stuck in the cube and my favorite character is the guy with the robotic eye. He's really amusing and I think he's a very good actor.
Cube Zero reminds me of those cheesy but good horror movies of the 1980s. Accept it for what it is, a decent B-flick.
Movie Review: Interesting little film...
Summary: 3 Stars
As for the movie, the acting isn't god-aweful, the sets are interesting in a earlier than The Cube way, the killings are pretty run-of-the-mill and the bad guys are ok (the guy with the eye is pretty over-the-top, but my guess is he was told to act that way). You do get a glimpse as to the idea behind the cube and the powers-that-be that run it. You also get a few clarifiers to the original Cube.
That written, it wasn't great and it wasn't horrible. I didn't find myself wanting to turn it off and I'll probably watch it again.
Three stars
Movie Review: The best of the Cube series
Summary: 3 Stars
I bought all three Cube DVDs for a bargain and, having watched Cube and Hypercube first, I didn't expect much of this one. I was pleasantly surprised to see that, unlike the other two movies, this one has a story line and shows some humanity. I suggest only buy this one and forget about the other two.Movie Review: Not as good as the original, but still a fun movie. Imagery is good.
Summary: 3 Stars
Not as good as the original, but still a fun movie. Imagery is good.Movie Review: Bad. But good.
Summary: 2 Stars
Cube Zero (Ernie Barbarash, 2004)
NOTE: this review contains a really, really major spoiler. If you're planning on watching the movie, be warned.
Cube Zero is a movie so unspeakably horrible, so ineffably awful, so utterly insincere to the mythology around which it is based that it breaks through the ceiling of the thoroughly awful and may even come to inhabit that special place that one holds dear in one's heart for films so bad you can't help but feel affection for them-- Night of the Lepus, for example, or Gymkata.
While it's impossible to believe that a movie this inept could have possibly come from anyone even remotely involved with the Cube franchise, it's true: writer/director Ernie Barbarash wrote and produced Cube 2: Hypercube. This is his first (and, if there is any justice in the world, it will be his last) directorial effort, and he comes off as the Jamaican Bobsled Team of directors; he may perform something else behind the scenes of a movie reasonably well, but the man should never be allowed near a directors' chair again. Ever. To expand on his own talent, Barbarash recruited a production team so skilled that he might have had to dole out minimum wage (for the rest of us, not Hollywood) to the whole lot of them. But maybe they all took one paycheck and just split it. For with the exception of makeup wiz Scott Hamilton (I, Robot), unless Barbarash's utter lack of talent simply eclipsed anything else, no one on this crew is worth a thing. "Shoddy" doesn't even begin to describe it. The set design was conceived by a rabid wombat (who, I might add, had obviously never seen either of the first two films), the dialogue was written by a drunk sloth, and the costumes were rented from the local dry cleaner, who I'm sure promised they could have them for free as long as they were back by nine the next morning.
The worst travesty, however, is in the casting. (I warned you about a spoiler. I will do so again. If you haven't seen the movie, and you plan to, skip the rest of this paragraph.) The box lets you know it's a prequel. What they don't tell you is that in order to preserve the suspense-- or, more likely, simply because some asinine copywriter forgot to do any fact-checking-- they changed some names around. Why I prefer the second interpretation in the last sentence to the first: when they recreate a key scene from the first movie, the actors portraying the characters in the first movie not only don't look like their first-movie counterparts, they couldn't possibly be more different. While that may have been intentional, it comes off ludicrous at best. The production team were either insulting our intelligence as viewers, or trumpeting their own stupidity ot the high heavens. More probably, they were doing both.
So given all that, what could I have possibly liked about the movie?, you may be asking. And you'd be right. First, the dialogue and situations are so insipid they often inspire unintentional hilarity. The "exit procedures" scene is one of the funniest I've seen in a movie in quite a while. It's always fun playing "spot the inconsistency" in a film based around a popular mythology. And as woefully miscast as they are, Queer as Folk's Stephanie Moore and Dog Park's Zachary Bennett have a kind of earnestness about them in the lead roles here that hearken back to Ray Milland and Sam Elliott squaring off in Frogs.
Cube Zero is a stupid, stupid film, but if such a thing is possible, it's stupid in a good way. While the original Cube quite rightly became a bona fide underground smash hit, this one has a chance to become this generation's Reefer Madness or Red Asphalt. Yes, folks, it's that bad. * ½