Critters
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Movie Reviews of Critters
Movie Review: One of The Better "Creature Features" From The 80s
Summary: 4 Stars
After Gremlins came out in 1984 it seemed like copy cat films hit theatres\VHS every few months. Of all the knock-offs, Critters would end up being my favorite. The main draw is the titular, fuzzy balls of munching mayhem, better known as The Krites. They're malevolent space creatures, but I've got a soft spot in my heart for them.
Intergalactic, face morphing, bounty hunters have tracked down "asteroid prison" escapees to the Planet Earth. Said fugitives are The Krites, and they're REALLY hungry. They start off snacking on the local fauna and for the main course they descend upon the Brown family farm. Dee Wallace Stone (Mrs. Brown) must smell like country-fried steak or something...
The film systematically evolves into a barricade the house and lock out the creatures affair, but several things prevent it from buying the farm. First and foremost are the gruesome, yet lovable Krites. They're like space porcupines with giant toothy maws, glowing red eyes and insatiable appetites. The Chiodo Brothers (Killer Klowns from Outer Space) were responsible for breathing life into the alien abominations and it's really a joy to see them in action. I just love the "special abilities" they have in their arsenal. They can roll into a ball for faster movement, grow bigger, shoot poisonous spines and of course, chomp the hell out of everything. Shockingly, they also speak in a garbled language which is hilariously subtitled for any humans watching. The Krites are perfectly realized movie monsters.
Critters is a campy "B movie" in every way. The filmmakers were aware of this and they certainly embraced it. For example, we are constantly shown this ridiculous hair band that sings the rock anthem, "Power of the Night". Apparently, one the face morphing bounty hunters thought it was so rockin' that he decides to disguise his face as glam rocker, Johnny Steele (who, incidentally, looks like my old college roommate Keith). Speaking of the bounty hunters, they're terribly naive and watching them figure out human technology is often hilarious. They have the diplomacy skills of a trigger happy terrorist and their, "We've come for the Krites" demands are typically followed with acts of explosive violence (i.e. - them blowing the living crap out of things). Nothing about Critters is subtle and you're going to enjoy the small town pandemonium that ensues.
For a PG-13 affair with a low death count, it's still easy for me to recommend Critters. The low budget sci-fi effects have held up surprisingly well and the Krites are nothing short of amazing. If you can stomach the less than stellar acting and rudimentary plot, then you'll find that Critters is one of the better creature features from the 80s. It's far from perfect, but it's great for some laughs. Critters is a dish best served with a group of rowdy friends and some ice cold brews.
Final Grade: B
Movie Review: Weird, imaginative nonsense.
Summary: 4 Stars
The Krites are the critters. They are nasty little hedgehog-type creatures and while they may look cute you wouldn't dare pet one as they'd rip your hand of and share the rest of you with their pals.
The Krites are prisoners on an asteroid jailhouse floating through the far side of the galaxy. Chaos inevitably breaks out and the Krites escape in a stolen ship, heading for the nearest solar system and it's only inhabitable planet...earth!
Not to worry though, a couple of intergalactic bounty hunters are soon on their tail and track them all the way to the quiet farming town of Grover's Bend, Kansas. The worst thing ever to happen in Grover's Bend is the local drunk (the ever lovable Charlie) getting chucked out of a bar. But now the Krites are here and they lay siege to the Brown farm, eating their cows, Billy Zane, chickens etc. Anyone or anything getting in their way is promptly poisoned by their anaesthetic spikes and feasted on.
Once the bounty hunters arrive the almost do more harm than good. The bulk of the laughs come from this, including a running joke on how one of them has shape-shifted into the form of an '80s heavy metal rocker. The other can't make up his mind and constantly changes into various townsfolk.
The Critters (8 small ones and a big shaggy one) may be Gremlins clones but there's no denying their cuteness. Though while I would love a pet Mogwai, I think I'll pass on a pet Krite.
Critters is a mad comedy-horror with loads of imagination and the nerve to tell a truly offbeat story. Much like Stephen Herek's next movie (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure) Critters succeeds on pure energy alone.
The DVD is in great-looking 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with remastered Dolby 5.1 sound. Extras are limited to 4 trailers and a (hidden) alternate ending, which I've yet to find. But for the price, you can't argue, and you gotta buy.
Movie Review: Critters (1986)
Summary: 4 Stars
Director: Stephen HerekCast: Dee Wallace, M. Emmett Walsh, Scott Grimes, Don Opper, Terrence Mann.
Running Time: 87 minutes.
Rated PG-13 for violence, some gore, and language.
Possessing all of the ingredients of a sure cult-classic even while still in the theaters, "Critters" is an extremely enjoyable science-fiction monster yarn that will make you laugh, scream, and cr...(well not cry), well you get the idea. The premise is simple and humorous all the same: A spaceship directed by fiendish little alien creatures that are searching for blood crashlands on earth on a farm owned by Dee Wallace and M. Emmett Walsh. Their rambunctious teenage son, played by Scott Grimes, suspects that something is up, but he can not convince his parents otherwise--only the goofy repair man Opper believes Grimes. The aliens speak their own hilarious extra-terrestrial language, roll into balls when they need to gain ground on their pray, shoot sedative porcupine needles, and grow larger with every victim that they eat.
In hot pursuit of the evil little creatures are two bounty hunters that can change forms and faces. These crazy characters are nearly as tormenting as the flesh-eating critters, shooting their bazookas all over the place and causing a stur. While almost too ridiculous to be believable, the great cast does a fine job keeping a straight face and with the blend of a few genuine scares, "Critters" is a superb, campy romp similar to frighteningly funny flicks such as "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" and "Gremlins". One of the better little gems of the horror genre in the middle 1980's. Spawned three sequels--but the original is the best.
Movie Review: Fun and entertaining
Summary: 4 Stars
I cannot help but laugh every time I see people bashing each other over a movie. Disliking a certain film is one thing. But for somebody to go out of their way and flagrantly insult a total stranger over their enjoyment of a particular film they happened to hate is unnecessary and immature. Amazon should police these reviews a bit more seriously.
"Critters" is a fond and harmless throwback to the sort of monster movie so prevalent in the mid-1950s sci-fi boom. I cannot so easily classify the plot as straight-up horror, because it really isn't. This is more of a hodgepodge. You get a smattering of horror, comedy, and science fiction all rolled up within a singular and satisfying package. I caught this in a theater with my father twenty years ago, and it has always remained a guilty pleasure of mine. None of the special effects are overdone, the writing is suitable, and I found most of the cast agreeable and entertaining.
I have found over the years that many of us tend to take our movies way too seriously. In the end, I could really care less that "Critters" doesn't follow the rules of reality. Because, when I pay to see movies like this, reality is something I want to escape from.
Movie Review: Campy fun that is sure to keep the viewer entertained!
Summary: 4 Stars
It's still amazing to me how many little monster movies Hollywood churned out after the success of GREMLINS. You had MUNCHIES, you had GHOULIES and you had CRITTERS, which surprisingly enough turned out to be the best of the bunch. Not that I have anything against GREMLINS but CRITTERS has far more depth and character development than it does and it's leagues above the other two. Directed by Stephen Herek, who would later go on to helm BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE and ROCK STAR with Mark Wahlberg, CRITTERS is a sci-fi/horror/comedy about a group of fur-ball aliens who escape from a prison space ship and come to Kansas for a bite to eat with a pair of intergalactic Bounty Hunters, who can take the face of nearly anyone they want, on their trail. Now as ridiculous as it all may sound, the characters are genuine and the family, along with Charlie, is real enough that you will end up caring about them by the time it's all over.
Still, in the end though CRITTERS is nothing more than campy fun but it's campy fun that will keep its viewers entertained. Check it out. You'll see what I mean.
B-