Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
by Sara Sugarman
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Adam Garcia, Alison Pill, Eli Marienthal, Glenne Headly, Lindsay LohanDirector: Sara Sugarman
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1; French (Subtitled)
Format: Anamorphic, Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, Full Screen, NTSC, Widescreen
Picture Format: 1.85:1
Running Time: 90 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2004-07-20
Audience Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: Walt Disney Video
Movie Reviews of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Movie Review: It's like `Mean Girls', only worse...
Summary: 1 Stars
...much worse.
To say that `Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' mirrors it's subsequently superior proceeding film `Mean Girls' would be a simple yet obvious observation. Both center around a young teenage girl who winds up in a new school, fitting in nicely with the nerds while trying to outwit the popular girl. Both also star Lindsay Lohan; but what `Mean Girls' has that `Confessions...' lacks is Tina Fey, among many, many other things.
`Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' follows Lola as she moves from wonderful New York City to New Jersey where she finds herself in a school that just doesn't understand her. She's your typical teenager who swoons over the frontman for the band Sidarthur, claiming his poetic lyrics to be the second coming of Shakespeare. Moving to New Jersey has been difficult for her, and so she finds herself spreading lies to make her life all the more exciting in order to gain friendships with anyone, ultimately finding that Ella, the school nerd, is the only one that gets her. Carla, the school princess, makes Lola her mortal enemy and they find themselves competing for the lead in the school play and also for the affections of a certain Stu of Sidarthur.
Where `Confessions...' could have come off as a happy-go-lucky teen comedy it winds up coming off amateur and ridiculous. The script is ludicrously unoriginal and manages to never flesh itself out to become anything more than an exaggerated sitcom episode. We never really care about any of the characters and when it all boils down to it we have absolutely no reason to give this movie a second thought, or a first thought.
The acting feels so staged and unnatural that it makes the slosh running rampant on `The Disney Channel' seem Oscar caliber. Lohan has done this much better before (`The Parent Trap') and after (`Mean Girls') and so this offering seems like a really bad hair day for her. Her acting is on the verge of annoying. Worse yet though is Megan Fox who is barely able to make her character seem like anything more than a nervous pretty girl. She's not evil, she's not even commanding. Look at what Rachel McAdams did with Regina George in `Mean Girls'...I mean that is evil. Alison Pill is rather bland in a thankless best friend role, and Glenne Headly (whom I still adore from `Mr. Holland's Opus') is forgettable as Lola's mother. Carol Kane is frighteningly over-the-top and Adam Garcia is decent at best, failing to ever live up to the legend Lola paints of his Stu.
In the end I can't say that `Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' is really even passable entertainment. I cannot justify ever watching this again, nor can I even justify my decision to watch it in the first place. If you are over the age of ten then this should never grace your television screen.
I wish that I had been smarter before I subjected myself to this mediocrity.
Summary of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
From the studio that brought you the smash hits FREAKY FRIDAY and THE PRINCESS DIARIES, CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN stars Lindsay Lohan (FREAKY FRIDAY) in a hip and hilarious coming-of-age comedy for the whole family! When the always dramatic Lola (Lohan) and her family move from the center of everything in New York City to the center of a cultural wasteland in suburban New Jersey, she feels her life is simply not worth living! But no matter who or what gets in the way, Lola won't give up on her life's ambition: to be a star! In a crowd-pleasing movie treat bursting with music, dance, and excitement, Lola's fun-filled adventure won't be glamorous or easy, but it might just show her that real life could exceed even her wildest dreams!Tucked into the middle of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is a charming sequence in which two girls from New Jersey (Linsay Lohan and Alison Pill) try to go to a rock concert in New York and have their illusions broken, then restored, and then broken, just a bit, again. Lola (Lohan) yearns for glory by playing the lead in the high school play and getting to meet the lead singer of a band called Sidarthur. Despite the spiteful efforts of a popular girl, Lola gets everything she wants without much of a struggle. Most of the movie takes place in a glitzy but flavorless high-school world with glossy teenagers dressed like a less discriminating Christina Aguilera. Pill (Pieces of April) shines in the thankless role of the geeky best friend. Also featuring Glenne Headley (Dick Tracy) and Carol Kane (Office Killer). --Bret Fetzer
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