Conan - The Complete Quest
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Movie Reviews of Conan - The Complete Quest
Movie Review: Classics!!
Summary: 5 Stars
Its so Great to see Arnold at his best!!Movie Review: Arnold Schwarzenegger brings Conan the Barbarian to life
Summary: 4 Stars
"Know, O Prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of...Hither came Conan the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandled feet."
At least, that was what was written in "The Nemedian Chronicles," the faux ancient text referred to by Robert E. Howard in his stories about Conan the Barbarian. Conan had been a pulp fiction hero in the 1930s and the stories had been republished in the 1960s in paperbacks with great covers by artist Frank Frazetta, with some unfinished stories by Howard completed by L. Sprague De Camp, and Lin Carter, who also wrote some adventures to fill in the gaps in the Conan chronology. Then Marvel comics launched a comic book version, scripted by Roy Thomas and drawn by Barry Smith, with many of the stories being adapted from Howard's original stories about Conan and other sword and sorcery adventurers.
It was with that literary lineage in the realm of sword and sorcery that "Conan the Barbarian" was released in 1982, although it ended up doing more for Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting career than it did for the character he was playing, since the film spawned only a single, vastly inferior sequel, "Conan the Destroyer." Director John Milius covers the early years of Conan's career, when he was taken from his home in Cimmeria as a boy by a raiding party of Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), and sold into slavery. Eventually he began a trained gladiator and eventually earned his freedom, where he became a thief. The script by Milius and Oliver Stone essentially created a new narrative for the film, although readers of Conan will recognize scenes and elements from to "The Thing in the Crypt", "The Elephant Tower", "Red Nails," "Queen of the Black Coast", "The Mirrors of Tuzun Thune," and "A Witch Shall Be Born."
Schwarzenegger's acting experience was rather limited at that point, but the role essentially required him to flex his muscles and look good. The showcase sequence of the film is when Conan and his companions, Valeria (Sandhal Bergman) and Subotai (Gerry Lopez), sneak into the stronghold of Thulsa Doom to rescue the daughter of King Osric (Max Von Sydow), who has joined the Snake Cult. With some pretty good background music by composer Basil Poledouris, the trio of thieves set up a diversion and launch a quick attack. There is a moment when Conan, his body painted with black stripes as camouflage, gets into position to begin a sword fight that simply looks great. The actual swordplay is rather limited, more slashing that actual swording, but we do get a sense of the power of Conan.
James Earl Jones seems a bit distant as the villain, but he was engaged in a weird acting experiment where Milius told him exactly how to do line readings and he did it. In the end, it is Sandahl Bergman who surprisingly provides what little emotional impact the film exhibits. A trained dancer, Bergman's elegant and fluid movements contrast nicely with Schwarzenegger's raw power, and she has a great way of looking at him that makes it clear which one of them has the brains in this outfit. More importantly, Bergman's Valerie seems totally at home in the savage world that the film creates.
"Conan the Barbarian" is not a great film, although it is arguably remains the best sword & sorcery film made to date (granted, the competition for the honor is rather sparse). Despite the overall woodenness of the acting, it does have the virtue of taking its characters seriously without descending into camp (they wait for the sequel to do that). If anything this film is reluctance to find any humor in the story (although Conan does slug a camel in an apparent homage to "Blazing Saddles"), which helps keep this 1982 film on the high road, relatively speaking. Consequently, while Conan fans might have hoped for something better, they certainly had ample reason to expect something much worse, and thus were relatively overjoyed by the end product.
That is not the case with "Conan the Destroyer," where the story was by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, a pair of writers for Marvel Comics. The story is a basic quest story where Conan escorts a virgin princess to bring back a powerful gem from a crystal palace, which will then be returned to a queen (Sarah Douglas), who turns out to be evil and wants to sacrifice the princess so the gem can used to summon an ancient demon, at which point wackiness will ensue.
The problem is not in the story, which certainly allows you to string together a series of Sword & Sorcery adventures, but in the casting. The princess is played by Olivia d'Abo, who simply looks too young (i.e., Conan was forever leaving pregnant princesses behind in his various adventures but there is no chance for that sort of chemistry here). Her body guard, Bombaata, is played by basketball Hall of Famer, Wilt Chamberlain, while Zula, the warrior woman who joins the group is played by Grace Jones, the singer/dancer/model/crazy woman. Comic relif, which was relatively absent in the orignal film, is provided by Tracey Walter as Malak.
With such casting the descent into camp becomes inevitable. Besides, there is nothing in this film even close to rivaling Arnold's best moments in the original (especially since the final shot of the old King Conan is recycled from the first film). "Conan the Destroyer" pretty much killed the franchise when it came out in 1984, although Milius is apparently preparing a 2005 film "King Conan: Crown of Iron," which there being a lot of speculation as to who will play Conan now that Arnold is Governor of Cal-e-fornia.
Those who have actually read the originally Conan stories will also find it rather distressing that Toth-Amon, the great Stygian wizard who was Conan's biggest enemy in the Howard stories, is reduced to a pit stop on this quest (I remember thinking at the time that this was the equivalent of Darth Vader being one of the guys that got dispatched at the Cantina in "Star Wars"). Thomas and Conway were upset by Stanley Mann's final screenplay, as well as the finished film, and ended up turning their story into the graphic novel "Conan and the Horn of Azoth," with art by Mike Docherty (all the names got changed to avoid any confusion).
Movie Review: A "Conan" for both the adults and kids in the family!
Summary: 4 Stars
Governor Schwarzenegger may be better known for his "Terminator" films but I feel that his first big-budgetted role in "Conan the Barbarian" is the film that ranks as one of his best. Directed by John Milius, the movie is a blend of rousing adventure, adult situations, a brilliant Basil Poledouris score, exquisite cinematography for its exotic locations, stunning set pieces and costuming, and not-bad-acting from a former body builder. Though he didn't sport a lot of dialogue, Schwarzenegger did make the most of his limited vocals with revealing facial expression, along with the required muscle flexing and heroics, as needed to portray Robert E. Howard's legendary hero. With an international cast that features Max Von Sydow, Mako, and the stunning Sandahl Bergman as Conan's romantic interest Valeria, it's no wonder that the film was a worldwide hit.
However, James Earl Jones must have had the most fun, assaying the role of villain "Thulsa Doom," sporting a long wig, menacing eyes, and over-the-top renditions of his lines and mannerisms as the ultimate "religious leader/sorcerer".
The film probably garnered an R-rating because of the well-choreographed violence scenes and a brief but highly erotic sexual romp between Conan and Valeria.
This is the more adult of the two film, fit for older and more mature viewers.
The aforementioned factors may have led the producers to water down the tone and situations in the sequel "Conan the Destroyer." The PG-rated film features Arnold and Mako returning in their roles from the first, but they are joined by basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain, disco diva Grace Jones, perennial sidekick Tracy Walter, and favored villainous Sarah Douglas.
Directed this time by Richard Fleischer "Conan the Destroyer" has a modicum of bloodshed (in comparison to the first film) and Grace Jones's character, though scantily clad, is too adrogynous to pose a "threat" to members of either gender, and can easily be viewed by a younger audience which is this film's target.
The first film gets five stars for its pluses, wherein the second one gets three and a half.
A warning for purchasers: One might wonder what director Milius was "on" when he and Arnold added their commentary, available only for the first film. The director sounds really "out there" in his ramblings.
Movie Review: Punch a camel in the face!
Summary: 4 Stars
Mongol General: What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Alright so maybe no one will read this review because this product is older, but I just watched these two movies for the first time and it was good.
What I admire most about these movies is their purity. It is what it is and it doesn't pull any funny tricks to try and hide it. The Conan movies are backed with a strong musical score, and a solid human tale. You won't find heroes weeping about what they should do next here. Instead you get an awesome dude who eats meat, drinks a ton, sleeps around with women, cuts large snakes' heads off, laughs at danger, and best of all, punches a camel square in the face! It was a breath of fresh air with all the wimpy protagonists these days.
Conan is filled with violence and nudity and pure awesomeness. Through out the first film Conan is joined by a wise cracking archer, a crazy old wizard, and busty blond thief. So you have pretty much the whole cast for an epic fantasy. Magic is involved too! The main antagonist in the first movie turns into a snake! And the wizard character summons demons.
One of my favorite parts of dialog in the first film is right before the ending battle, when Conan prays to his god:
"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"
Hahahaha! If that is not great than I do not know what is! These movies sit up there nicely with other older movie classics such as Ghost Busters, Back to the Future, Alien, the old Star Wars, Predator, Terminator, and so on. Back when they made movies well. Arnold is pretty freakin' sweet. I am glad I finally watched these movies and highly recommend them to fans of the medieval fantasy genre or fans of simple yet powerful and well made movies. There is only the discipline of steel. That, you can trust.
Movie Review: "Let me tell you the tales of high adventure" ...
Summary: 4 Stars
Arnold Schwarenegger was always larger than life for me. He was a man who could do and say anything, climb the highest mountains, fight the demons, have good triumph over evil, and become king. Not just in the movies, but in real life (winning a Mr. Universe title, become an action movie star, marry into the Kennedy family, and later become governor of California). This was the movie that shot him into the stratosphere, where he's more or less been ever since.
In a time between the fall of Atlantis and the rise of modern civilization is when this (as just about all) fantasy film begins. Conan would be taken as a slave from a simple farming town as a boy, imprisoned for years, then become a powerful warrior who would avenge James Earl Jones for murdering his family. Arnold was brand new, and he was pumped to perfection having just won a Mr.Universe title. Couple that in with special effects, watching him run around in loin clothes, action and revenge type storyline, and he rode this hit to fame and fortune.
The sequal, Conan the Destroyer, however, left audiences a little lacking. I think they were disappointed with the campy humor put into the second one deliberatly. The addition of Alec the bumbling fool / comic foil, Grace Jones with her shemale warrior freaky, and Wilt Chamberlin was funny, in an odd sort of way. If anything I thought this movie ebbed and flowed a lot better than the first one, as I found the first to be dull and boring in several places.
My biggest regret in this series is that there was never a third made, or however many sequals required to see Conan crowned as king. I would have liked to have seen him achieve his success at long last.