Chopping Mall
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Movie Reviews of Chopping Mall
Movie Review: brilliant work of cinamatic genius
Summary: 5 Stars
Chopping mall is more than just a film about robots. It's a film about KILLER robots in a shopping mall AND they're killing teenagers. Now if that doesn't tickle your fancy i dont know what will.Movie Review: Entertaining tongue-in-cheek gore-fest!
Summary: 4 Stars
An early example of cult director Jim Wynorski's work, Chopping Mall is one of those movies that you'll hate yourself for enjoying. From the corny pun title and equally corny tagline - "Where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg" you pretty well know what to expect right from the start. Full of visual gags, wisecrack one-liners and cheeky references to other movies, Chopping Mall certainly stands up to repeated viewings so the viewer can extract every drop of twisted humour and irony.
Great to see a very young John "Deathstalker 2" Terleskey leading the youngsters' illicit partying. Ably supported by a couple of B-movie babes (great excuse for a bit of gratuitous nudity part way through), and Barbara Crampton as a real feisty kick-ass heroine, who stoicly puts up with everything from laser beams to tarantulas! Also a brief cameo from Toni (the delicious Sultana in Deathstalker 2) Naples near the start. Great pounding swirly synth soundtrack from Chuck Cirino (who also wrote the superb score for ..... you guessed it, Deathstalker 2!).
The real stars though are the killbots. Like some unholy cross between Robocop's ED-209 and Short-Circuit, these tracked monsters, equipped with lasers (audio and video hat tip to "War of the Worlds"), tasers and nasty snapping pincers, patrol the mall at night looking for intruders. After a lightning strike scrambles their program, the killbots start ...well killing - after politely greeting their victims and then wishing them a nice day of course! The killbots also run impressively quickly on their tracks - no lumbering zombies these!
Wynorsky gives us some inventive and spectacularly messy deaths, from victims electrocuted, thrown over balconies, punctured by robotic arms, necks sliced through, burned alive and, of course, the mandatory (and impressively gross) exploding head routine.
Whilst perhaps a tad tame by today's more brutal gore-fest standards, Chopping Mall remains a highly entertaining movie, with its charm lying in the fact that it never takes itself too seriously.
On the down side, the DVD picture quality is not brilliant though, appearing little better than VHS, and the audio is some very early incarnation of Dolby that falls far short of the 5.1 or DTS that the punters usually expect these days. Not much in the way of extras either - shame there's no director's commentary, as Wynorski is a fun guy and does a witty and entertaining commentary on Deathstalker 2. Never mind though.
We all know this isn't Oscar material, but you could certainly do a lot worse than getting a few cans of beer in, watching this, then watching Deathstalker 2!
Movie Review: Another dark day in robotic security history
Summary: 4 Stars
Even if you're expecting to watch a mad serial killer hacking up a bunch of shoppers with his trusty axe, I don't think you'll be terribly disappointed in the goings on down at ye olde Chopping Mall. In a move sure to anger mall security guards worldwide, the managers of this mall have decided to replace the old security staff with three super-keen robots with all kinds of nifty weapons and tools tailor-made for stopping and detaining any hooligan who dares to invade the sanctity of the mall after closing time. These "Protectors" are all like fast-moving little tanks equipped with lasers, claws, sleep darts, and other assorted goodies.
If you learn nothing else from this movie, just be assured that you should not plan a big after-hours party inside your uncle's furniture store on the same night as security robots are first given the run of the whole mall, especially if the geeky designer of said robots assures everyone that nothing could possibly go wrong - this is particularly important if huge security doors are set to lock everything and everyone inside until daybreak the next morning. Nothing ruins a night of partying and fornication like seeing a partially clothed teenager get her head blown off by a robot laser weapon (unless you're in to that sort of thing, I guess). Once something like that happens, you can pretty much forget about seeing any more nudity that night.
The kids who find themselves terrorized by the killer robots in this film aren't particularly engaging, but at least they try to go out fighting (although you would think that they would figure out that guns aren't effective against the killer robots after the first hundred or so shots do no damage whatsoever). Frankly, I didn't care about any of them apart from the one played by Barbara Crampton, but that was only because she looks like a young Donna Mills. That being said, I couldn't really cheer for the robots either - let's face it, "Thank you. Have a nice day" just doesn't cut it as a killer robot catchphrase. I kept hoping they would start chanting "Exterminate!" or something, but that never happened. Despite the blandness of the bots, though, this still turned out to be a pretty fun film to watch - and at just 77 minutes in length, it doesn't overstay its welcome. You pretty much can't go wrong with any quasi-horror movie from the glorious 1980s.
Movie Review: LET THE KILLING BEGIN ! !
Summary: 4 Stars
The Park Plaza Mall security has just gone high tech, leaving its unsuspecting mall shoppers dying to get out,they just don't know it yet. This new breed of mechanical security guard has been created and recruited specifically to be the new "night watchman" for the Park Plaza Shopping mall. After a series of freak electrical strikes and short circuits to the computers main system all hell breaks loose and the shopping mall has now become the "Chopping Mall". Those unfortunate to be locked in are in for a deadly surprise. Due to a number of power surges the mechanical menaces have now powered up on their own to become "Killbots". Once activated the "Killbots" only objective is to kill mall intruders by any means possible and most of the deaths are carried out in gruesome fashion.
I really enjoyed this typical 1980's teenage B slasher flick and it's definitely worth a look for fans of this genre. Four pairs of horny teenage mall workers come up with an idea to have a party in the malls furniture and bedding store for some teenage fun and frolic after the malls shoppers have cleared out. It doesn't take long for the killing to begin because the "Killbots" soon discover the teenager's party playground and their fun and frolic quickly turns to all out fear. Faced with no other alternative the teenagers decide to band together to fight their way past the "Killbots" to escape the "Chopping Mall" and not become the "killbots" next victim.
This movie has a little bit of everything featuring Nudity, sexual situations and plenty of carnage. As for the movie itself its pretty good and the audio and video transfer is pretty decent although a little dark and mirky in some spots. Lions Gate films has included some nice bonus features in this DVD release making it worth the money. Welcome to the Chopping mall where there slashing their prices and their customers, it could cost you an arm and a leg, maybe even your head. Is it possible to lose your head over a little shopping, you'll have to watch to find out.I give this film four stars for pure 80's fun.
DVD FEATURES INCLUDE:
4 x 3 full-screen version
2.0 Dolby Stereo Surround
Audio commentary with director/co-writer Jim Wynorski and writer Steve Mitchell
"Building the Killbots" featurette
Theatrical trailer
Photo gallery
Movie Review: Did I mention he was a robot? Cuz that's kinda important.Yeah, a robot...awesome."
Summary: 4 Stars
As our October journey through horror & b horror continues we felt it was time for a little 80's action. With so many choices out there why not go for a film that seemed to be just like the episode of Saved By the Bell where the crew camps out in the mall on night. You can't go wrong with a concept as b as that. Have to say Chopping Mall through us for quite a loop since we didn't read up on what it was actually about, hence the title. Thinking it would be the run of the mill 80's slasher proved to be wrong once a gang of killer robots appeared. Yeah awesome.
So our story obviously takes place in a mall where a bunch of teens who work there decide to stay past closing hours to throw a party and have a sexy time in some display beds. Once they're locked in they come to meet the new security, which happens to be a few robots that look like a cross breed between Paulie's in Rocky IV and Screech's only friend Max. They only issue is these robots seek and destroy anything moving and take aim at the gang of super 80's teens. They take a couple out with some hilarious laser graphics that must have been world renowned for the time. The film goes on with the kids trying to find a way to get out of the mall or stay alive until it opens up again in the morning.
For us Chopping Mall was worthy of a four star rating due to it's extreme 80's horror feel. Can't say it was scary in any sense at any point, but thought it was simply hilarious as the killer robots took aim at the over sexed kids. It's quite funny how the mall was the place to be back then, especially to base an entire film around it. We have to say despite the horrid acting and special effects the film did present a pretty original idea in a time saturated with slasher flicks. For some this film will be a complete waste unless you go into it with the right state of mind. As long as you know it's a bout killer robots, you should be fully ready to have a great laugh instead of a good scare. So grab yourself some treats, a little chuck, and your buddy and make a nice b night out of it.