Chinese Super Ninjas
by Chang Cheh
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Chen Pei Hsi, Cheng Tien Chi, Lo Meng, Lung Tien Hsiang, Wang LiDirector: Chang Cheh
DVD: Region Code 0
Audio: English (Original Language)
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, DVD, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
DVD Release Date: 2007-02-06
Audience Rating: Unrated
Studio: Red Sun
Movie Reviews of Chinese Super Ninjas
Movie Review: The best martial arts movie in the WORLD!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
First, let's get something straight: this is the best martial arts movie ever. It demonstrates Real Ultimate Power in ways I cannot even conceive, and if I could my head would explode from the Sheer Ninja Awesomeness of it all.
What, you still don't believe me? Here's why this movie is the awesomest:
1) This movie features a war between Chinese and Japanese warriors. So we get kung fu vs. samurai and ninja! Because this movie has the Awesome Dial turned up to 11, it starts with a fight between two schools, each showing off their amazing martial arts with the most unlikely weapons ever. Who wants plot when you can see guys killing each other with pinky rings?
2) The five element ninjas are all color-coded for your convenience. Fire, Earth, Wood, Water, and Gold. Now I know what you're saying: Instead of the five traditional Asian elements of Fire, Earth, Wood, Water, and Metal, why go with Gold? Gold is wimpy! It's not even a hard metal! Why not Steel or Iron?
I'll tell ya why: gold is glittery. And beautiful. Which is why Gold ninjas wear glittery gold parasol hats that can double as shields. They can use them to reflect light and blind opponents, and just like every good gold-digger, they can stab you in the back with blades that shoot out from the parasol-hats. Okay, I was stretching there but stop arguing because YOU SO KNOW THAT GOLD PARASOL HATS THAT SHOOT DAGGERS ARE AWESOME.
3) There are helpful credits that explain everything the ninjas do is based on real weapons. This movie isn't just a spectacular explosion of martial arts madness, it's educational too: You could write a book report about it and I bet your teacher would totally give you an ALPHA, which is better than the letter A because this movie is so amazing mere letters will not do!
4) There's a hot chick that dresses in fishnets. And when she's not in fishnets, she's taking off her ninja clothes! And when she's not taking off her clothes, she's betraying our bitter hero. Take that feminism!
5) The hero and his three brothers have some of the coolest axe/flag/chain/scissor/polearms/stilts this side of the galaxy. Their weapons can do ANYTHING. Including chop people, blow away smoke, cut ropes, tear off limbs, stab people in the gut, and avoid people stabbing you in the groin from underground.
6) At any point in time, our hero who also happens to be a ninja, flips out and kills people. And I mean a lot of people. He rips peoples arms off. He rips peoples legs off. And at one point he rips their arms AND legs off at the same time!
7) The big boss ninja bad guy uses a fan. He's THAT confident in his manliness! Don't mess with him, it takes four guys to even have a chance of taking him down!
8) The ninjas are totally silent. They can get past your stupid falling brick trap and your crazy rooftops bells trap with their eyes closed. Pretty sure they did that by turning the sound off BUT WHATEVER NINJAS ARE AWESOME.
9) The good guys wear capes. CAPES!
10) Two words: Super. Awesome. Dubbing.
Summary of Chinese Super Ninjas
a.k.a. 5 Element Ninja Region Code: All Format: NTSC Running Time: 104 min. Languages: English dubbed Subtitles: None Aspect Ratio:16:9 Description: An epic tale of vengeance, betrayal, and ambition against the backdrop of ninja martial skills and arts. When his school is destroyed and his colleagues all slaughtered by supreme ninja Cheng Yun and his five element ninjas, Tsiau Chin Hau sets out to take his revenge. But stopping the elemental ninjas (gold, wood, water, fire, and earth) is an awesome task. So, Chin studies the secrets of the ninja under the guidance of teacher Yan Yong Fe. Thus armed, Chin and his newfound cohorts Li Yin Win, Chan Sin, and Wan Fong challenge the element ninjas in a climactic battle to the death. Once again, Chang Cheh displays his unique talents for marshalling aggression, violence, and balletic grace within an inventive format. Cast: Michael Chan (Wai Man), Lo Meng, Chen Pei Hsi, Lung Tien Hsiang, Lau Tin-Chi, Wong Lik, Bruce Lai, Ricky Cheng (Tien Chi), Kwan Fung, Chan Shen, Chui Tai PingSimilar DVD Movies
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