Child Bride
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Movie Reviews of Child Bride
Movie Review: MST3K Wouldn't Touch It with a Ten-Foot Pole (or at least a pen)
Summary: 1 Stars
I've come straight from a live Cinematic Titanic showing of Dynamite Brothers where Joel Hodgson requested to his colleagues that they should not sign my personal copy of Child Bride. He also informed me that Mystery Science Theater 3000 rejected the film. So don't take it from me, take it from the people who make bad movies their profession: Child Bride has no merits, and contributes absolutely nothing to enrich America's film culture. In fact, it probably did nothing but help to establish the asinine rating system we have established for the film industry today. To quote Mr. Hodgson, the film possesses an "underlying sinister feel," which I took him to mean that Child Bride is pure exploitation.
But the film claims otherwise! It hides behind a pretense that it's performing a public service, informing the audience that children bound into wedlock against their will is a bad thing, and should be stopped. No, really!? I'd never have come to that conclusion on my own. Thank you, Harry Revier. Our society was lost without you. We were all less than animals, defecating where we slept, before you came along and showed us all the light.
!!!Spoiler alert!!!: it contains a single nude scene with an underage girl. It also contains poor acting, plot, and story.
Movie Review: Child Bride
Summary: 1 Stars
While the message is important. I was not impressed with the overall quality. frankly it stank.
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