Bong Water
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Movie Reviews of Bong Water
Movie Review: An honest review by an honest stoner
Summary: 1 Stars
To dispell immediately what others may assert, I am indeed a stoner; I am a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker, etc. I own a fine collection of stoner films and my daily interactions often include a bowl and such a film. That said, this movie is terrible. I cannot fathom how it received an average of 4 stars. Please do not tell me that I failed to understand the majesty of this film; I was high when I watched it.
I and the entire group of diehard potheads with which I watched it concur as to the massive suckage that was Bongwater. At first, I was upset that a movie so devoid of plot and meaning had taken the title Bongwater, which may have been used in true stoner films in the future. However, after reflecting on it with my roommate (who of course smokes), we concluded that the movie was aptly titled. After all, bong water is the leftover that nobody wants. At the movie's conclusion I said, "I need to smoke...for the first time in my life, I NEED to smoke." It was that bad. In fact, I was so upset that I couldn't even roll a proper J...and I normally get compliments for my rolling skills.
My roommate at this point interjects, "You sound too self righteous; nobody will listen. He gave it a one because he couldn't give it a zero and I suspect the rest of the reviews to be complicated attempts to deceive others into watching this film so that they can revel in their deception. Free Chong and free yourself by not becoming a prisoner to this smelly, rancid Bongwater."
To summarize, Bongwater is NOT a stoner movie in the great tradition of Up in Smoke, Half Baked, or even How High. Rather, it seems to be a poor attempt at capturing the life of a stoner, by somebody who has never touched the stuff. As evidence, I submit the scene where Luke Wilson fills up the chamber of his bong with smoke then...instead of taking the massive rip...he puts down the bong. What self respecting smoker would let a perfectly good hit go stale like that?
Movie Review: misguided at best
Summary: 5 Stars
i have had this review on here for some time now, and i feel compelled to change it due to a change in heart. when i first reviewed it, i praised its realism and originality, and gave it a 5.this is 6 months later. i purchased the dvd and watched it several more times. upon later reviews of it, ive come to an all new conclusion:
it sucks.
i love Luke Wilson. i love Andy Dick and Jack Black. too bad this movie features very little of the two latter, and a bit much of the former.
the concept: a fire causes a misdirected pot dealer to reconstruct his life with two different girls.
now i look at it as this. everything on the technical side of this movie is high school level. i expect any second for a stagehand of some type to be seen in a corner of any shot. however, the script should help us out right? eh, it has its moments, you can tell that filtered through all this amateur hogwash, the original book is a good read.
the acting? well, luke wilson's david is somewhat likeable if a bit laughable. hes a moron who unwittingly stumbles on gems of creativity, but that is his appeal.
then amanda witt comes in. she is stunningly beautiful in this film, something redheads are rarely portrayed as. david falls in love with her and tragedy ensues. however, with all this love, one major aspect is overlooked. she is completely horrible. she is annoying, self centered to the point of destructive, and contradicting. at first i cared, but in the scene where she is orally raped, you just dont really care and a sinister voice in your head says "you had that coming" and it can then be followed by various vulgarities.
and at the end, when david and she finally get together, you are filled with dread instead of happiness.
and then the topic of drug use. every drug used in this movie i have tried or do regularly. every single one. and i can say that the writer must have never even seen a cheech and chong film much less actually smoke a joint. scenes where david will fill a bong with smoke, and then set it down without clearing the precious pot smoke.
the tripping scene in which he has a clear vision of his mother and hangs out with her is just silly. if you havent tried acid and would like to see what its like, watch the first few scenes of fear and loathing in las vegas. the part with the golf shoes.
now the infamous coke scene in this film. she takes on line and loses her memory. my first time i did an entire 8ball in one night. i remember everything and i wasnt raped either. its easy to portray any sort of horrible attribute to hardcore drugs, but if youre making a drug themed film, youd better watch where you step.
this film is uncertain in its scope, and falls flat of even the most reserved of goals.
it has little to do with drugs and even less to do with people.
Movie Review: Who the hell knows.
Summary: 4 Stars
I've seen this movie six times and I still don't know what happens. I remember the lemonade though. Good stuff.Movie Review: soundtrack
Summary: 4 Stars
2 biggest highlights i have to point out in this movie are:...the best opening sequence i think i have ever seen, mostly due to the sonic youth song that starts the movie
...jesus ranch!
but where, oh where is the soundtrack?
Movie Review: wish i saw sooner: beware of gemini
Summary: 4 Stars
man this would have been a great movie to have seen about 2 years ago before i fell into a constant relationship with all GEMINI girls....unfortunately for our little movie star he found out all too late the evil that lies behind the eyes of most gemini's. great movie though...well at the beginning anyways....i get a little sick of women throwing themselves around to get what they want....but whatever the fact of the matter is its a movie for smokers. jack black had a stellar appearance...as usual very philisophical and all that and singing hurray...the movie took a turn for the worse as they focused on the gemini towards the end...oh well she got she she deserved....until the very end...the dude should have sent her packing hahaha...anyways the movie has very little to do with bong water but has all the right tones....til somewhere past half the movie when i kinda lost interest....