Body of Evidence
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Movie Reviews of Body of Evidence
Movie Review: Nicely Filmed ...fest
Summary: 1 Stars
Well, it won't take 1,000 words to sum up this movie: junk. It's hard to view "Body of Evidence" even as a guilty pleasure--there's just way too much guilt. Madonna plays a scheming, Betty Davis-esque golddigger (surprise) who destroys men by oversexing them with her body! Willem Dafoe, the lawyer hired to defend her against charges of murdering her elderly, rich husband, may be her next target. The story is so purile it makes "The Days of Our Lives" look like Shakespeare, and the film wastes just about every likable performer in it (including Joe Mantegna, Ann Archer and Dafoe). Perhaps the biggest mistake is letting Madonna do more than be filmed without clothes--she delivers her lines about a beat too slow and often looks uncomfortable in her own skin. (It doesn't help that Madonna often is made up to appear ten years older than she is--she looks hotter now in her music videos). Pick anything at random starring Amazonian Shannon Tweed from the bargain basement video bin, and you'll probably be more entertained than you will from watching this waste of celluloid.Movie Review: Love Madonna, hated the movie
Summary: 1 Stars
Body of Evidence is a classic example of a good cast, but bad script and directng. The premise is a stretch; no one can stand trial for murder if it was consensual sex and drug use. The acting is not really that bad, it's just that the actors look fatigued and not entirely thrilled with their lines or direction. It's easy to make Madonna the scapegoat because she's a controversial public figure. However, it takes an entire cast and crew to ruin a movie. This failure was truly a TEAM effort. Poor Willem Defoe and Anne Archer...they valiantly tried to save this turkey, but to no avail. Madonna has the potential to be a good actress if she has a better script and perhaps some classes wouldn't hurt. Nevertheless, she has a presence and charisma that's hard to ignore. Overall, the movie was tiring, not thrilling enough and a mess of bad lines and a muddled plot. This movie is only for die-hard Madonna fans only. Madonna shines much more in Evita, Desperately Seeking Susan and A League of Their Own.Movie Review: Oh my God
Summary: 1 Stars
Oh dear. this is an abysmal movie. So abysmal that after twenty minutes I found myself fast-forwarding through the movie, admittedly pausing to view the dirty bits involving Madonna and Defoe. The trouble is that Defoe is just about the most unnattractive actor in Hollywood, and Madonna, whilst both beautiful AND sexy, is somehow portrayed in this movie as an utterly sexless thing, almost like one of those blow-up dolls with '3 working orifices'. Or is that orifi? Anyway, the whole film sucked. Mind you, that Willen Defoe is a lucky S.O.B. The muff-munching scene in the carpark was obviously real.Movie Review: Madonna's acting abilty and body recall a very short, square piece of cement
Summary: 1 Stars
Sexless and depressing. Madonna's attempts to beat Sharon Stone as big screen sex early 90's goddess are about as lethal as last week's lettuce. madonna does not seem to get that sex symbols are built like hourglasses not boys on steroids. You also have to not be self consciousness to be sexual on screen which is all she radiates. madonna, not surprisingly, makes a terrible porn star! Rent Kim Kardashian, Nadine Jansen or Danni Ashe unless you are into watching men on steroids with bleached hair fake orgasms and play with melted candles.Movie Review: This should've been the end
Summary: 1 Stars
This should've been the end of Madonna's movie career and the fact that it wasn't proves that the folks in Hollywood are no smarter than the rest of us. Body of Evidence is one of the most unintenionally funny wastes of film I've ever seen. The sex scenes are not sexy. Madonna spends a lot of time semi naked but her body is not particularly attractive. William DaFoe looked like he was ashamed throughout the movie and the script stinks too. That's about all I can say.