Bloodsport
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Movie Reviews of Bloodsport
Movie Review: A True Classic Which Makes Me Miss the 1980s
Summary: 5 Stars
With today's Hollywood seemingly running out of original ideas and the spew of so-called Old School Action movies this year: The Losers, The A-Team (which isn't really old school as they've used CGI in places) and The Expendables (message to Stallone and his representatives: Please don't ruin my adolescent years by making this a girly PG-13!)- it's a pleasure to revisit The Muscles from Brussels, Jean-Claude Van Damme or JVCD, in what is arguably a movie that is 70% action and 30% story. The premise is that Jean's Frank Dux (Dukes on whose story this is based on...even I had forgotten that fact) wants to take part in Kumite (the Bloodsport of the title), to honour his not-so-well master, Tanaka (Roy Chiao). Frank's an army man and against the wishes of his superiors, flies out to Hong Kong (hotly pursued by Forest Whitaker & his faithful sidekick, Kato - just kidding!) Well, you know the rest from there, as I'm sure other Amazon folk have synopsosised this to death!
Admittedly, the movie has moments of bad acting, BUT that adds gravitas and lends a certain charm to the whole proceedings. This is after all, the glorious 1980s, where money was more readily available and even the so-called low budget fare like this (made and distributed by Cannon...I miss those guys! Did they later become Golan Globus?) - looked expensive and colourful, too. Even more impressive is the fact there are no wire-work sequences at all (compare it to the fact that in a gym, old school free weights are better than using crappy machines which can damage you some more!) and none of the choppy, quick editing that's so prevalent in today's actioners (Paul Greengrass, are you reading this, Sir?). In fact, I would say the last decent martial arts I've seen in the last 20 years are "Perfect Weapon" with Jeff Speakman (why hasn't that seen the light-of-day on DVD?) and 1997's Drive with Mark Dacascos.
All too often, you hear the term "a man's film" bandied around, but this for me is up there with the Die Hards, Lethal Weapons and Commandos! I love the genuine onscreen chemistry between Van Damme & Donald Gibb's Ray Jackson - and even after they've declared their undying devotion to each other, with Ray declaring: "Anytime, any place, if you ever need me...I'll be there", that to me, is the non-gay, ultimate Man Love declaration, right there in your face, hahaha! Whatever you think of Tom Cruise, Top Gun definitely spawned the whole 1980s "You can be my Wingman" mentality (let me take a minute here to breathe, I'm just getting emotional again...) Which reminds me, I need to book my place for 80s throwback comedy Hot Tub Time Machine!
Another vital component of 80s film culture is the obligatory pretty blonde...here played with perfection by Leah Ayres. Yes, she's a tad ditzy and allows her character to become the center of attention for grown-up men to fight over her, but who cares? She's drop-dead gorgeous, her hair is gloriously permed and at least she has a natural body which makes her dresses look sooooo, mmmm! It was also a joy to know that Stan Bush lent his vocal talents to the Official Soundtrack, after doing the same thing for the Transformers animated movie. Man, just hearing his songs have got me pumped-up! Speaking of which, I thought Jean-Claude nailed his death stare right-on-cue, even if his opponents were a deadly pile of bricks! I reckon they should have given Bolo Yeung's man-breasts an extra screen credit, which at times, seemed to involuntarily do their own acting! But Bolo, what a legend and what a good sport for playing chilling bad guys.
Loud synthesizers,dazzling action sequences and a great location (Hong Kong under British rule), no wonder Bloodsport is considered an all-time classic. This Blu-ray release is stunning and didn't think they could make an 80s classic look so fresh again. Along with Willis, Stallone and Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme should definitely be ranked along those guys for epitomising the 80s (and 90s to a lesser degree). I need to devote a weekend to watching pure 80s gold, such as No Retreat, No Surrender; Weird Science, Rocky, Terminator, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Rambo, etc. That'll be one pizza, Dr. Pepper and all the Man-roars to go, please!! And if Al Leong wants to make another cameo, that's OK with me too!
Movie Review: Does It Hurt Van Damme?
Summary: 5 Stars
Hello B fans, Sid the Elf is back to review Bloodsport. We mean this in the straightest way possible when we say that the most impressive thing in the movie was when Van Damme does the splits. No, actually, this film was wonderful. We picked it on the spur of the moment and it didn't disappoint. It had everything we could ask for. There was horrific acting from everybody involved. This even includes Forrest Whittiker from 35,622 buckets of fried chicken ago. You have Jean-Claude Van Damme in his first starring role and he hit this one out of the park on the first try. Although we're not quite sure why they chose a local special needs fry chef to play the young Frank Dux, but it was more than made up for when we heard the kid talk and saw him get kicked in the chest by the little Chineese kid. Then you had Ray Jackson, the big cross-eyed guy, who was nothing short of hillarious. Finally, there was the one, the only Chong-Li. Here you had a jacked, utterly insane Korean who instead of pounding hot dogs like Kobyashi, ate 34 egg white omelettes in 8 minutes while training for the Kumate. He just has a presence. When the screen showed his name opposite Ray Jackson's Sid the Elf froze. It was momentous.
Bloodsport is actually a true story-seriously. It is about Frank Dux, the only American to ever win the Kumate. When he was a kid, Dux was taken in and trained by his Asian master. In a hilarious sequence, we see Young Dux(sounds like a rapper doesn't it?)learning all the awesome tricks he would later unleash in competition. When his master is on his death bed, Dux goes AWOL from the military to see him. After his death, Dux decides to honor his master by entering the Kumate. So, he not only has to fight insane opponents, like the completely frightening Chon Li, in the Kumate, he also has to elude Military Police who know he's at the Kumate and want to bring him back home. What makes Bloodsport such an awesome guy's movie is that the majority of the movie revolves around either karate fighting or training to karate fight. There are just too many cool or funny happenings in the movie to recount them all. As we, Sid the Elf, like to do when there's just too much to go over, we'll break this one down Joe Bob style and let you use it as a guide when you watch Bloodsport. Here are the Drive-In totals:
3 bricks broken, 1 with a head-butt
1 compound leg fracture
2 tazerings
1 skinny Forrest Whitiker falling off a boat
1 partially nude Van Damme
1 pair of red bikini briefs worn by the Muscles from Brussels
1 Mr. Fuji style eye salting
56 hilarious facial expressions
1 ref beating courtesy of Chong-Li
1 homicide in the ring
32 crushed beer cans by Ray "ABC 123" Jackson
1 Van Damme Flock of Seagulls hair do
4 inappropriately placed romantic songs from the soundtrack...
...ALSO HE'S A NINJA!
Definitely 5 stars. Partially for the terribly done fighting scenes. I mean, most of those blows could be stopped by Cecila Dux, Frank's grandmother. Easy recipient of the Sid the Elf Seal of Approval. I have put all my knowledge into you. Watch Bloodsport!
Movie Review: The Chinaman said: "OK USA!"
Summary: 5 Stars
(Before i review, just want you fellow-Bloodsportians to know that i own Ray Jackson's bloody/sweaty bandana and am selling it on E-bay. or you can convineantly buy it at www.bestheadbandeverworn.bloodsport4Eva.com) ...How do i review such a classic? umm, well van damme DOES do a split in it for one!!! he also challenged Paco to a "lets exchange armpit kicks" competition, and gets so into it that randy savage saw it and it inspired him to record an album slamming Huk Hogan! there's a special feature on the dvd with interviews from the cast. the monkey man said "the only reason i lost is because the kumite had no ropes, therefore i couldnt execute my patented irish-whip maneauver that i have perfected. also, my scene was cut where i hit the fat asian dude in the balls, and his grundle grew a beard and shaved itself because it was in so much harcore barry windham pain! it disappointed me a little, but seeing the small pee pee of Chong Li's in the shower always cheered me up. me and the guys began calling him "Chong Wee". one time, he got so mad that he smiled and gritted his teeth together and shook his head "no" for 11 hours straight!!!(like when he steps on Ray Jackson's head)" wise words from the monkey man if you ask me. oh, you know how "Dark side of the moon" and "the wizard of oz" if played simultaniously go together? well if you play Macho Man Randy Savages album with Bloodsport, then you automatically become cooler than Uncle Jesse and you can actually see Chong Li's nipples blink! and for anyone curious, a few did you know's? in bloodsport...while playing the arcade game "kung fu", Frank Dux's hand-double was actually Patrick Duffy from step-by-step, and Ray Jackson's hand-double was the foreskin of Carl Winslow. also, forest whitaker's lazy-eye was digitally rendered to appear normal like the other eye. Mr. Whitaker took the role under one circumstance: he get to play and defeat Golga in ski-ball at putt-putt. Golga cooperated until he flipped out and totally did a "golga elbow drop" off the virtua fighter-2 arcade game. then, out of nowehere, hardcore barry windham ate re-fried beans and slipped a Rufi to anyone who wasnt hardcore barry windham or Yanni. it was quite a mess nonetheless to be blessed to see yanni undress and find a mustache on his guch as well as his la bouche. listen to the band MACK NORTH!Movie Review: Enter The Bolo
Summary: 5 Stars
Van Damme's best martial arts movie - heck perhaps best movie ever, considering his others were lousy except for Timecop and In Hell. Bloodsport can arguably be ranked right behind Enter The Drgaon as a true fight classic. In fact, in many ways, Bloodsport not only gets inspiration from Bruce Lee's masterpiece, but by finally seeing the massive baddie Bolo fight a worthy opponent, it does it one better.
One of the most incredible visuals and kinetically amazing cast members of Enter The Dragon was Bolo Yeung. Never actually classically trained as a martial artist, Bolo was a Chinese bodybuilder - sort of China's Schwarzenegger. He was bigger than life, bigger than Bruce, bigger than anybody he shared the screen with, yet when the credits rolled, he had only broken the necks of a few lame bodyguards and had fought Roper, played by John Saxon. Now, Saxon is a fine actor and a pretty good martial artist, however he's no Bruce Lee. The confrontation everyone was waiting for in Enter The Dragon never happened, until that is Bloodsport came along.
Now, yes, Van Damme isn't Bruce Lee. There are many who would say he couldn't hold Bruce Lee's jockstrap. But in his muscular prime his lightning fast style has beyond most come close to Lee's high kicking, hard punching brand of film fighting. So when Chong Li severely injures Frank Dux's big buddy Ray Jackson, you know Frank's gonnna get revenge and we're gonna get the fight we never got but wanted to see in Enter The Dragon.
Certainly there are many other good things about this movie. The acting is always decent, Forest Whitaker plays an FBI agent in an early role and even Van Damme is relaxed, confident and comes off better than most any other role. However when all is said and done, Bloodsport works on a purely adrenalin pumped level of martial arts action that is unmatched - save for Enter The Dragon. So, when the credits roll this time, we're satisfied that someone as incredible as Bolo has been used to full measure and the [...] kicking we longed for is the high point of this movie - visually and emotionally.
Movie Review: "very good...but brick not hit back"
Summary: 5 Stars
The sucess and popularity of Bloodsport makes this movie one of Van Damme's very best ever. Bloodsport also marks Van Damme's first role as the main character in a movie. (The previous film he had a role in was "No Retreat No Surrender" in which he played the villain but had a much smaller role). Bloodsport went on to make 3 more sequals, however without Van Damme. This first installment is overall the best, "a true classic", althouh I find certain elements are more appealing in some of the sequals.
The story in Bloodsport is fairly original for its time and the acting is not too bad, even though half the people in this movie seem to barely speak English well (Van Damme included). Now when I say not too bad, I'm coming from the fact that I'm pretty hardcore about cheesy martial art movies - most have baaaaaaaaad acting. The great thing about the story is that it is based on the true events of Frank Dux (played by Van Damme), who was the first Westerner to ever win the kumite and to hold several records. The soudtrack to this movie, I hate to admit for an 80's film, is very nice. I enjoy both the original music composed by Paul Hertzog, and some of the songs, by Survivor I think (same group who performed Eye of the Tiger in Rocky III). I even enojyed the opening credits scene - it sets the tone for the movie wonderfully.
The real meat and potatoes of Bloodsport, of course is the tournament. There are plenty of fights, many very short, and some that don't look very realistic. Not many fancy moves, but its always a treat to see Bolo Yeung as the villain, "Chong Li", on the platform. The final fight between Dux and Chong Li lasts about 7 minutes, but a lot of it is in slow motion with some of those "now somewhat cheesy flashbacks" to early training scenes. The end of the fight showcases Van Damme's leaping spinning split kicks that quickly became his signature move and can be seen in more of his following films including Kickboxer and Double Impact. If you wanna see another fight between Van Damme and Bolo Yeung, be sure to check out Double Impact.